


The Graveyard of Stars

by tiniest_hands_in_all_the_land



Category: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon (Anime)
Genre: 'how much can i make one character suffer', Angst, Blood and Injury, Character Study, Explicit Language, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I guess it can be considered that of sorts????, Loss, Mentions of crime, Near Death Experiences, Possible OOC-ness, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, Suffering, Suspense, Tragedy, because i can't characterize for crap, i g ue SS ??, i swear to god i like these characters, it gets happier I swear, this entire fic is just fucking suffering
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-25
Updated: 2017-09-30
Packaged: 2019-01-05 05:03:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 46,947
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12183411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiniest_hands_in_all_the_land/pseuds/tiniest_hands_in_all_the_land
Summary: A tragic turn of events leaves Meowth without his friends by his side, wondering just where he can possibly go from here.





	1. The Beacon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, hello, glad you could join me. I'd like to apologize for
> 
> 1\. The content of the writing, because apparently I can't write anything without it going immediately to the dark depressing side  
> and  
> 2\. The writing, itself
> 
> also there's a couple doodles within the fic. This chapter's doodles are a bit bloody, not tooooo graphic, but the ones in future chapters should be just fine. Also I'm suuuuuper sorry for how big they are. It was a trip just getting them into the fic at all, and I don't know how to make them smaller, or even if I CAN make them smaller  
> ALSO--I should probably mention that I'm not too big on writing full-blown accents (Tf2 has shown me the error of my ways), so while there are some accent stuff in certain characters' dialogue, a good amount of it will just have to be imagined

Was the world _ever_ going to let them rest?

 

The question loomed in all three of their minds as they trudged through the mud path. Harsh breaths escaped them, the rain so cold they could see the air they exhaled. The path ahead lay barren, empty, devoid of life. And with the shape they were in, they were thankful for it. No threats—no police, no wild or hostile pokemon, no twerps or pesky Pikachu to send them flying.

 

None of them could bear the thought of the twerps blasting them off into the sky now. The thought of even spotting those damn kids deep in the midst of the trees made them nauseous.

 

James staggered, losing his footing in the sludged-up earth. His weight nearly brought his companions down with him, but Jessie managed to hold him steady, preventing anyone from falling. Meowth stirred, the sudden stumble and tight grasp on his mangled body making him wince. The cat looked up at his friend and could feel his stomach knotting as he gazed upon her hardened face.

 

The redhead paused for a moment, readjusting her hold on her two friends. They could tell just by her rugged breaths that she desperately needed to rest. Carrying the dead weight of both of her teammates was noticeably taking its toll on her.

 

“There's gotta be some goddamn town out here,” Jessie seethed. It was mostly to comfort herself; she didn't expect anyone to reply.

 

But James gathered up the will to respond. “It can't be far.” His voice, usually so noble and respectful, barely rose above a whisper against the pouring rain. Each word came out strained, a testament to the excruciating amount of pain racking through his body. Meowth couldn't tell if the wetness he heard was from the rain or the blood that was undoubtedly seeping in through a hole in his lung. “Just over this hill... Maybe... Maybe there'll be something... There's gotta be..”

 

“We gotta make it over, first,” Meowth chimed in.

 

The hill, a mountain of sloping mud with raging rivers pouring from the summit, lay just ahead. They couldn't see over the top. The mere sight of such an imposing force struck fear into their hearts, threatening to halt their progress entirely. Still, Jessie trudged on, her eyes ablaze with a fiery determination. James tried to loosen his grip on her, terrified that his weight might bring her down. But she held him steady with an unfathomable strength.

 

The mud made for a slippery path. Each step they took was a hazardous chance to slide right back down. Even with the deep footholds Jessie dug into the earth with her boot, the mud still sunk under the weight. James wasn't faring much better—twice he slipped, but each time, Jessie managed to save him from falling. Once she was sure her friend was steady, she continued to climb, with her teeth grit and muscles tensed.

 

Until she felt it.

 

The redhead slipped on the mud and toppled all the way down to the base, dragging her friends with her. She lay in the sludge, shrieking and sobbing as the loud rain continued to pour around them.

 

James pulled himself out from under her, kneeling beside her to try and lend some sort of support. Meowth did the same, and together they pulled her to her feet. For a moment they allowed the rain wash away their mud coating. The earth stung, an unhealthy amount seeping into their cuts and into their mouths and into their eyes. An old pokemon instinct to lick his wounds clean surfaced again, an instinct Meowth thought that he had permanently buried years ago. He ignored it as best as he could, but the stinging of his lacerations only made the instinct cry out louder.

 

Once she got her footing back, Jessie grabbed a hold of her teammates. She wrapped James's arm around her neck as she hoisted him up by his waist, and clutched Meowth against her broken shoulder. Her legs shook, the fall having done no favors for her ankles. She reassessed her situation, knowing full well she would never be able to reach the summit by facing it head on. Her only choices were to grab hold of the cliff side to her left or use the rickety wooden fence to her right as a hand rail.

 

“Hold on...” Jessie murmured to the two. She shuffled over to the fence, splinters immediately piercing holes through her glove and into her skin when she touched it. The barrier could barely even be considered as such. Planks were broken in two, some even missing. But it would have to do; they were out of options.

 

Each step up the mud slope hurt more than the last. Splinters dug deep under Jessie's nail beds as she clung on with all the strength she had. Mud caked the entirety of their boots, and they had to pull themselves free many times because their feet had sunk too far into the earth. But they were close. Jessie could see the top. She just needed to get to the top and everything would be fine.

 

Right foot, pause, wait for James to catch up, left foot, pause, wait for James. Right foot, left foot, right foot, left, don't forget to wait for James. Jessie forgot to breathe on multiple occasions. The only breaths she managed were shrill gulps of air that came accompanied with whispered curses. Meowth had been completely silent and unmoving for the entire trek up. No uncomfortable shifting against her shoulder, no grunts of pain, nothing. Jessie had to press her ear to his back to hear his rattled breathing just to make sure he was breathing at all.

 

She knew her tight grip on James was doing more harm to his broken ribs than good, but she refused to loosen up. If she faltered even a tiny bit, allowed her muscles even that much sweet relief, she would drop him, all the way back down. And she refused to let that happen. Even if her limbs burned with the excess weight hanging off; it was just another ache to add to the growing list.

 

The summit glowed tauntingly up ahead. Her mind must have been playing tricks on her, Jessie decided. The blood loss must have been causing her to see things. Some kind of light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel bullshit, that was all. And damn was it bright. She squeezed her eyes shut and found it that much easier to focus on the task at hand. It helped when she didn't have to see how far away from the summit they were.

 

Left foot, right foot, James. Left foot, right foot, James. Check for Meowth's breathing, breathe. Left, right, James, Meowth, breathe—

 

“Jessie.... Jessie, a town!”

 

What the hell was he talking about? There was no town. Jessie forced her eyes open, squinting as that damn blazing light pulled an assault on her pupils. But to her surprise, the light wasn't a figment of her desperate imagination, but an actual light post. She looked ahead, shocked to find another one mere meters away from the first one, and another one just a bit farther. Together, they illuminated a path to a quaint little town, all its residents asleep and blissfully unaware of the tragedy occurring just outside their windows.

 

She didn't even realize that she was walking on solid level ground. She was just so enamored by the lights of the town shining like a beacon of hope through the pitch black night, that nothing else mattered. Never did she imagine that she would be so excited by something as minute as civilization, and yet here she was. Hot tears streamed down her face in relief, bringing a bit of warmth to combat the cold rain.

 

“Holy shit...” Jessie breathed out.

 

Surely there had to be some sort of care center around somewhere. If she had the strength, she would scoop both of her teammates up in her arms and run ahead to find it. But the redhead had used up all her energy just getting to this place—she could barely stay standing as it was. It was a miracle she had made it this far without collapsing.

 

“Look—Jessie—there's a Pokemon Cent— ” Before he could finish his thought, James fell into a fit of wet, nasty coughs. Coughs that signified just how blood had filled his lungs. Coughs so violent that he ripped away from Jessie's grip and fell to his hands and knees upon the cobblestone.

 

“James?! James!!” Jessie shrieked, dropping fast as bricks to her knees to try and pick her colleague back up. A dark dribble of blood, easily mistakable for rain, dripped from James's mouth as he tried to swallow down gulps of air. “Come on, James! We can make it to the Pokemon Center! It's not far—damn it, I'll _carry_ you if I have to!”

 

The downpour was difficult to compete against, even when Jessie shouted and pleaded in the loudest voice she could manage. It made James's poor attempt at a whisper barely even audible. “Just go on without me, Jess... it'll be easier if I'm not weighing you down...”

 

The blue haired man coughed again, wheezing through the mess of blood in his system. His arms trembled, barely keeping himself from collapsing. Just when he was about to, Jessie pulled him by his shirt and slung him over her shoulder. The dead weight caused her legs to buckle, but she held her ground.

 

“Jessie, _please..._ ” James was weeping. She could tell by the sound of his voice.

 

“I'm not leaving you, James,” she declared.

 

Jessie could hardly move with both her friends draped over her shoulders. She could barely focus on the task ahead, or even find the strength to breathe. But she would be damned if she gave up now—now that help was _so close,_ just within her reach.

 

Meowth had kept quiet the whole time, terrified that something he could say could ruin Jessie's concentration. If he moved a muscle, there was a chance he could cause her to crumble with no strength to get back up again. He clutched at her torn uniform, a whirlpool of dread swallowing him whole.

 

Now she was carrying them, literally _carrying_ both him and James on her shoulders with all the energy and with all the life she had left in her. The cat had always been so sure that she was practically invincible, that nothing could ever bring her down and keep her down. But now that was being tested. A test that Meowth truly didn't want to know the outcome of.

 

He could hear it in her deathly gasps, could feel it in her quaking steps, could see it in her desperate eyes. She was reaching her breaking point.

 

“Jess...” He murmured. She didn't respond. “Jessie, I can walk...”

 

Her eyes didn't even flinch. Just stayed glued to the glowing red and white beacon ahead.

 

“Jessie, lemme walk, please!” Meowth cried. And yet no response. He tried wriggling out of her grasp, but Jessie dug her nails into his pelt, keeping him still. She had clearly heard him. But she couldn't allow another accident to befall one of her friends. “ _Please...._ ”

 

The world seemed to move in slow motion. Every agonizing step Jessie took forward took an entire minute to complete. Every breath took three. None of them noticed the rain anymore, down-pouring as it was. The only thing that mattered now was getting through those automatic doors and finding help. They would be okay. They had to be.

 

They _had_ to be okay.

 

Jessie fell to her knees against the polished floor of the Pokemon Center when she finally crossed the double doors. She couldn't feel her legs anymore, couldn't feel anything anymore. They sat in a pool of rainwater and blood as Jessie held her teammates as close as she possibly could, terrified that if she let go, they would be gone.

 

The Nurse Joy of the town, who had been cleaning up to check in for the night, was overcome with horror at the sight of the three bloodied, battered, and bruised figures at her doorway. “Oh my god!” she yelped, immediately springing into action. She grabbed a gurney and hastily carted it over. Alarmed by the sudden ruckus, her Chansey peeked over from the hall, and quickly made her way to her colleague's side at the sight of trouble. “What happened?!”

 

“Please... Just help us,” Jessie pleaded, in no condition to answer such idol questions.

 

“W-well yes, I'll call an ambulance right away—”

 

“No, you don't understand.... we won't _make it_ to a hospital.”

 

Surely the nurse could see that they all had one foot each in a grave and the other on a newly-waxed floor. Nurse Joy gulped before she replied.

 

“I understand,” she said. “But this is a hospital for _pokemon_ , not people. I-I just don't have the equipment to help you all...”

 

“You've gotta be able to do _something_!!”

 

Nurse Joy dare not break eye contact with the redhead—she felt as if such a decision would be damaging to someone's health. Tears began to prick her eyes as anxiety overtook her.

 

“I mean, I-I can try to stop your bleeding myself and try to hold you over until an ambulance can get here... but about the only thing I can do for sure is take care of your meowth...” she admitted.

 

“ _Do it._ ”

 

Before anyone could say anything, Jessie had dealt the final word. Meowth rose sharply, appalled by the decision she made. “What?! No!” he exclaimed. “What about youse two?!”

 

Jessie breathed out a sigh, letting her gaze drop to the floor. “...It's over.”

 

Finished. Kaput. Dead in the water. If Nurse Joy couldn't help them now, no one could.

 

Meowth hooked his broken claws into Jessie's shirt, clutching on as tightly as he could. “No.... no, no, no, no, no—i-it ain't over! Don't say that! You'll _make it_ —just _hang on!_ ”

 

The nurse knew they were from that crime syndicate in Kanto from the moment they dropped in, known it from their torn uniforms. The talking Meowth only confirmed her suspicions. She had heard tell of such a thing from her other sisters from neighboring towns. To see it in person would have been a remarkable experience, had it not been under the circumstances they were. The thought of having such potentially dangerous criminals showing up at her doorway stressed her to no end.

 

Still, a patient was a patient, Team Rocket or not. She had to do her part. Joy turned to her assistant, who had been waiting anxiously by her side, ready for action. “Chansey, take care of him, please.”

 

The egg pokemon hummed in response, then rolled the gurney over to the trio. Carefully, she held out her paws and offered to take the cat from Jessie. The Rocket swallowed the breath she was holding, not yet ready to let her friend slip away from her grasp. She rubbed her face against Meowth's cold, sopping fur, clutching him as tightly as she could without hurting him. He could feel the hot tears coming from her eyes, and felt his own beginning to trickle out.

 

“ _Jess..._ ”

 

Refusing to drag this hasty goodbye out longer than necessary, Jessie pulled the cat off of her by his scruff and offered him to Chansey. “Please... Take care of him...” she murmured.

 

She couldn't save herself. Nor could she save James. But if she could give Meowth the chance to live through this hellish nightmare, she would do so with all the strength she had left in her.

 

It took Jessie a few seconds to let him go. Even when Chansey firmly held Meowth in her grasp, she held on, until finally, she knew she couldn't anymore. Meowth struggled weakly in Chansey's hold, desperate to be back in Jessie's comforting arms. “Jessie, no! You can't do this, _please_!”

 

The two locked eyes for one final time before he was placed on the gurney. It wasn't until Chansey had started to roll him away that James lifted his head to see his companion off as well. His weak green eyes, half-lidded with the lust of sleep, shone with an overwhelming anguish.

 

“Jessie! James! No!!”

 

Neither said a word. Just wept in silence as Nurse Joy attempted to help them to their feet.

 

“Jessie, James, _please!_ _Don't do this!!_ ” Meowth's shrieks dissolved into full on hysterics as he sobbed. Struggle as hard as he did, Chansey did not loosen her grip on him. In a panic, she began to sing to her patient, as it was clear he would never sit still. He knew what the song was, and tried to fight against its power with all his might. Which wasn't very plentiful.

 

“Please, please please please please... God no...”

 

“ _Chansey chan-chan... Chansey chan-chan...._ ”

 

“Jessie.... James...”

* * *

 

His anxiety had woken him up.

 

Powerful as Chansey's song of sleep was, some gut feeling inside of him screaming that something was terribly wrong had overpowered it. Meowth awoke in a cold sweat, still damp from the storm but noticeably drier. Everything ached, but he noticed that all his wounds had been neatly stitched up or bandaged. An IV line replenished his body with new blood, and an oxygen mask kept his breathing steady.

 

He cringed. If he was in as bad a shape as he was, he could only imagine how Jessie and James were faring.

 

It was deathly quiet. After having pounded for so long, the rain had finally subsided, the black sky finally cleared. The crescent moon lit up the night, a sliver of white amidst the twinkling stars.

 

Through the dark window, Meowth spotted the team's favorite star. The biggest and brightest of them all, the one that they had all looked up to for comfort and inspiration on so many occasions. Its warm glow eased his troublesome worries just a tiny bit, gave him a feeling that maybe, just maybe, everything had turned out alright.

 

He swore he saw the star flicker.

 

The agonizing silence drove him to paranoia. Meowth shifted in his bed over and over, searching for something, some sign that would tell him that his friends were okay. But there was nothing but the confining white walls, dimly lit only by the machines by his bedside. Each of them monotonously chirped in an unnerving rhythm. His torn left ear heard nothing but a high pitched hum and the beat of his pulsating heart.

 

The door opened, making the cat tense up. Chansey slipped quietly through, noticeably startled upon seeing Meowth's glowing blue eyes fixated on her in the dark. She appeared distressed, and the longer she looked back at her patient, the more visible it became.

 

“ _You should be resting,_ ” She said in a whisper so soft Meowth could barely hear it against the noisy machines. “ _Go back to sleep..._ ”

 

“Where're my friends?” His own voice, addled by sickness and dehydration, rose just above a rasp. When she didn't answer, Meowth pulled himself upright, disrupting the stitches keeping his skin together. The monitors filled the silence with the torturous song of beeps, each sound chiming faster than the last.

 

“ _Please, I-I need you to calm down,”_ the nurse pleaded. “ _You're in no position to be moving around—“_

 

“Where _are_ they?”

 

She didn't say a word.

 

Clenching his teeth, Meowth pulled and tugged at the wires keeping him in place, yanking the mask off his face and the IV out of his arm. Each instrument, having nothing left to monitor, screamed with alarms and flat lines. Chansey sprung into action immediately, pleading with him to stop and settle back down. But he couldn't sit by any longer. Something was wrong. Something was terribly, horribly wrong. And Meowth couldn't wait around for an answer he wasn't going to get.

 

His small size proved useful in scrambling past the nurse, even if his movements were significantly slower due to the drugs and the blood loss. Each motion was a stab of pain, his stitches tearing apart at the sudden violent movements. He clutched his paw to where the IV had been, now squirting out a sickening amount of blood through his fingers. Meowth yanked open the door and narrowly escaped Chansey's grasp as she lunged for him. Once out of the claustrophobic room, the cat stumbled down the long, dark hall, back to where he last had seen Jessie and James.

 

Lights shone ahead through the windows at the end of the hall, flashing red and white. Only the lobby light was on, allowing for just enough vision for those ahead. Meowth spotted multiple figures, Nurse Joy among them. But no Jessie or James.

 

The nurse sat at the lobby bench, sobbing into her hands. At the sound of new company, Joy lifted her head and mumbled something akin to 'oh no' under her breath. A look of dread cast over her. The figures around her turned towards Meowth as well, all visibly shocked to see him wandering about in his state. But the cat couldn't worry about them now. He _needed_ to find his friends.

 

Before he could demand their whereabouts, however, two men in lab coats emerged from a room between him and Joy, each hauling away a gurney topped with a body bag. The sight stopped Meowth in his tracks. He stared at the bags for seconds, minutes, hours, it felt like, taking immediate note of the distinct human-size and the strand of dirty red hair poking out from one of them.

 

He didn't need to open those bags to know just who lay inside.

 

Everything went silent. He felt himself shouting, screaming, but he couldn't hear a thing. He couldn't feel Chansey grabbing hold of him. He couldn't feel her struggling to keep him still as he jerked and thrashed about. He couldn't feel the hot streaks of tears pouring from his bloodshot eyes. He couldn't hear the commotion he was causing as Nurse Joy finally recovered from her paralyzed stupor and tried to help Chansey handle him.

 

He could only feel the enclosing numbness overtaking his body, clouding his brain. Could only watch as those heinous men in lab coats carted his friends, his _family,_ away from him with blurred and fading vision.

 

' _They're gone...They're gone!_ ' was the only thing running through his head as he felt his world begin to black out.

 

_'Jessie and James are gone...'_

 

_'They're both GONE.'_

 

_'_ _**Gone...** _ _'_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll uh..... I'll just see myself out of the fandom now


	2. The Phonecall

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyghguhhghhh y'all will have to bear with me for this chapter--it's a bit of a transitional period from one major section to the next. But it's necessary 'cause it's got some plotpoints needed for later chapters :o
> 
> Next chapter is when the real meat of the story begins, just bear with me through this one :OOO

His eyes seemed to be glued shut, with how much effort he had to put into opening them. And once he managed it, the glaring sunlight made him wish he hadn't bothered.

 

A groan escaped him, and he shifted to his side to try to block out the light. But he was caught in a web of wires, pinned to his position on his back. After a second of struggling, Meowth looked around, desperate to find Jessie and James and ask them just what the hell had they tied him up in.

 

But they were not there.

 

Instead of waking to a grassy field and wide open space like he expected, Meowth only saw the constrictive white walls of an empty hospital room. Chirping machines replaced the chirping of starly that he expected to hear. The balloon was nowhere in sight, nor Jessie and James's pokemon, nor Jessie or James.

 

At first he was confused. Then he took one look at all the stitches and bandages making up half of his body, and suddenly everything came flowing back.

 

Jessie and James were gone.

 

His two best friends, the closest thing he had to a family, the ones whom Meowth thought could never be brought down by even the toughest and most impossible odds... were gone. They'd fought so hard to survive their wounds obtained by last night's fight, only to lose the battle at the end goal. All the while, the cat lay in his cot, still feeling, still breathing, still _living._

 

His friends were gone. And they were never coming back.

 

He wanted to scream and cry and throw whatever he could get his paws on at those too pristine, too disgustingly clean white walls. Anything to relieve the excruciating anguish welling up inside of him. But he just didn't have the energy. Curling his fists into balls and scrunching up his face to prevent tears from falling was all he could manage.

 

The door creaked open. Chansey stepped through, somewhat alarmed and somewhat relieved to see her patient awake again. In her paws, she held a tray of food, which she placed on the overhanging table in front of him. Meowth just blankly stared at the breakfast.

 

Steamed rice, grilled fish, and nori, along with a bowl of regular pokemon food—all delicacies that would normally make the cat jump for joy. And yet he stared. He couldn't remember the last time he had eaten a full meal, much less, food at all. His stomach complained, but he felt no compulsion to eat. Just to sit in silence and glare daggers through the tray that dared to block his view of his mangled form.

 

“ _Good morning,”_ Chansey murmured to break the dead air. Meowth didn't respond, didn't even raise his eyes to look at her. The nurse gently took his arm in her paws, tying a tight band around it. Carefully as she could, she peeled the IV line out of him. “ _If we're lucky, you'll be able to go free today._ ”

 

Chansey bandaged the wound with a cotton ball and tape, then carefully disconnected the rest of the wires that held him in place. The silence visibly made her uncomfortable; she kept shifting, fidgeting with her tools, looking anywhere but at his face. “ _You gave us quite a scare last night. We weren't sure if you were going to make it._ ”

 

Meowth couldn't help but think that maybe it would've been better if he _hadn't_ made it.

 

“Why didn't you help 'em?” He rasped out.

 

The nurse started. “ _I-I'm sorry?_ ” she questioned.

 

“You're both nurses. You coulda done somethin'. You coulda _saved 'em_. So why _didn't you?_ ”

 

Chansey sighed, wringing her paws. Guilt pooled her eyes. “ _Look...I'm so, so sorry we couldn't save your friends..._ ” she admitted. “ _But you have to believe me when I say that Nurse Joy did everything that she could to help them. It was just too late... We just didn't have the right tools... And by the time the ambulance came....”_ She gulped down a breath of air, choking on her words. “ _It was just too late...”_

 

Of course it was too late. They had walked miles upon miles with no sign of civilization in sight, only to come across a damn Pokemon Center with no chance of helping the humans in need. Each of them had been broken, bloodied, bruised. Each with their skin sliced so deeply it cut to the bone, with their bones so broken, shards pierced the skin. They barely had any hope of survival to begin with. And yet they had settled for a damn Pokemon Center, a hospital fit to help only a single one of them.

 

And Jessie and James had decided that this was their best possible option.

 

They had chosen to save Meowth, and in the process, allowed themselves to perish.

 

Why? Why did they have to do that?

 

Meowth turned his head towards the window, gazing at the sunlight streaming through, considering the bright and cloudless weather to be an insult to the situation. He squeezed his eyes shut when he felt tears welling up. Chansey took that as her sign to leave, having no more consoling words to say. She slipped back through the doorway, gently closing it behind her with one final glance at her patient.

 

Once she was finally gone, Meowth allowed himself to cry. He hated this. He hated being alone. He hated being alive and on the road to recovery whilst his friends lay dead in a morgue somewhere far away from here. It wasn't right. It just _wasn't right_. Why did he get the chance to live while Jessie and James got nothing?

 

He felt sick. Sick and alone and empty.

 

Staying in this confining room wasn't helping, he finally decided. He had to get out. At this point, he didn't care where he was, or what happened to him. Whether he starved out on the road alone or came down with one of those horrible hospital diseases at some other pokemon center, he didn't care. But he couldn't stay _here_ any longer. Not while his friends' ghosts roamed the room where they had died so close by. He couldn't handle it.

 

Meowth pushed the untouched food tray out of his way and slid off his cot. He made his way over to the closed window, but the sound of nearby voices on the other side of the door gave him pause. His urge to leave was screaming at him, telling him to just ignore them. And he would have – had he not recognized Officer Jenny's voice amidst the conversation. The muffled words became clear once Meowth put his good ear up to the door. Two voices outside—both easily identifiable.

 

“....It can't happen today,” he heard Joy mutter, her usual chirpiness absent in her tone. “Not after everything last night.”

 

“Look, I know all this is stressful, but he's our best possible lead,” the cop replied in an equally somber but firm voice. It didn't take Meowth long to realize they were talking about him. “I just need him to answer a few questions, that's all.”

 

“He's just been through _hell._ Even if he wasn't in the shape he was in, what makes you think he'd be willing to talk to you?”

 

“I'll find out soon enough. And now's the only sure chance I'll have. He's compromised; he won't have the _energy_ to lie.”

 

The cat frowned. Of course—no matter where he went, no matter how beaten down and roughed up he was, it didn't change the fact that he was still a sought-out criminal. Of course the news of two identified Team Rocket members biting the dust would bring the Fuzz in to tirelessly interrogate the third.

 

Of course: Officer Jenny had to be out of her mind if she thought he would give everything about his organization up just because he was 'compromised'.

 

“You're gonna take advantage of a sick, injured pokemon who's just lost _everything?_ That's just _cruel,_ Jenny.”

 

“It's not cruel, it's just business—”

 

“ _Business?_ Last time I checked, his team were the only Rockets spotted in Sinnoh. And now two of them are _dead—_ what more do you _need?”_

 

“You don't know what he could be hiding, Joy! He could give me information to his entire organization's whereabouts if you'd just let me in—”

 

“ _I won't have you badgering my patient!!”_

 

Silence. He heard sobs.

 

“I'm... I'm sorry... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to yell...”

 

“It's fine... I know you're just protecting your patient.”

 

“I wish I could've saved them... Everything was just so sudden, I-I didn't know what to do...”

 

“I know...”

 

“I know they were criminals, but they just looked so _desperate_ a-and... I just wish I could have _saved them...”_

 

“I know, Joy... I know...”

 

He couldn't listen any longer. Soppy as her story was, Meowth felt nothing but contempt for the nurse. She had had his friends' lives in her hands, and could have done something to help. _Anything_. And she failed. Meowth couldn't bare to hear her voice anymore.

 

With a shake of his head, he meandered over to the window. He pulled the glass pane open, the sun's violent rays almost blinding him. Squinting through the piercing light, he hopped over, stumbling as his shaky legs tried to regain strength.

 

Now that he was out, Meowth supposed that he should look for something. Anything: a place to go, someone to meet. But his mind blanked. Where could he go? The only place he would be welcomed back to was back in Kanto, at Team Rocket Headquarters. Though, the idea of going back there wasn't exactly a pleasant one. Arceus only knew what troubles awaited him there, what grief the suffocating Rocket halls would bring without his friends by his side.

 

Still... he supposed that they should at least know what happened.

 

Meowth began walking, slowly, painfully, until he found a path. Surely he'd be able to find a payphone somewhere. Then he could call... he grimaced.

 

He could call the boss, let him know that he wouldn't have to worry about Jessie and James any longer. As soon as he found a payphone, he could explain to him that they had failed in their Sinnoh expedition, and that their failure had costed them.

 

But once he found the phone booth he was looking for, Meowth ignored it. He stopped for a moment, gazing at the glass box with the phone hanging innocently inside for just a single moment, before walking past it, disregarding its presence. On another street farther ahead, he found another one in the same empty, awaiting state as the first. He ignored that one too.

 

He didn't know how far he had walked before he found another phone booth. His body ached from walking—stumbling, really—for so long. He avoided the townsfolk as best as he could, but he didn't fail to notice the concerned and frankly terrified looks some gave him as he passed by. Meowth didn't speak a word to any of them, just continued on his trek of silence until he found what he was looking for.

 

At the third payphone, he decided it was time to face the music. Meowth pushed his way into the empty booth, then shut the door behind him, secluding himself from the outside world. He climbed his way up to the bottom shelf of the phone box, where he stood, staring at the digits. Trembling fingers hesitantly pushed the numbers in, each input taking a minute to complete.

 

“Collect,” he murmured to the operator transmitting his call, forced to do so by his distinct lack of coins to pay. The phone began to ring. Once, twice, thrice... Each ring caused his heart to race even faster. Until finally, his world came to a stop, as someone on the other end finally picked up.

 

“ _Who is this?_ ”

 

That voice. That sultry, authoritative, orotund voice that Meowth once yearned to hear, whether it be through praise, through orders, even through discipline, did nothing to ease his grieving heart. Instead of striking him with awe and admiration, it seared him with anxiety of the painful truth he had yet to reveal.

 

“ _Hello?_ _ **Answer me**_ _, damn it!_ ”

 

He found himself trembling, struggling to hold the phone up to his face with his shaking paws.

 

“ _I swear to all that is holy,_ _ **if you don't say something--**_ ”

 

“They're gone...”

 

It was all Meowth could bear to say. He had never admitted that fact aloud until now, and the words, cracked with grief, tasted sour in his mouth and burned his tongue like acid.

 

“ _...What?_ ”

 

His throat constricted. All he could manage were weak, quivering breaths, sharp gasps when his lungs emptied.

 

“ _What do you mean, 'they're gone?' Who's gone? Who_ _ **is**_ _this?!”_ the other end repeated with growing alarm. The man paused. “ _...Meowth? Meowth, is that you? Say something!”_

 

The cat tried, truly tried to answer his boss. But his mouth was sewn shut, his heart racing. He felt much like vomiting, though he had nothing in his stomach but bile. _'They're gone, they're gone, they're gone, they're_ _ **gone!!'**_ his mind played on an endless loop. How could Giovanni not understand what he was telling him? Why was he expected to explain when the answers played so vehemently in his head?

 

_'They're gone. they're gone, they're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone, gone,_ _**gone, gone gone GONE.'** _

 

He choked out a sob. Meowth let the phone slip through his fingers, allowed it to swing back and forth until it dangled helplessly from its box. The tears came pouring through his fingers as he clutched his eyes, broken claws digging into his skin and drawing beads of blood. He sat, weeping, whilst the boss's phone-rattled voice blasted through the receiver.

 

He couldn't hang up on him. Something about that seemed too disrespectful. Instead the pokemon left the booth, the phone handle stuck in an endless cycle of swings as it held on for dear life by its cord.

 

Sunlight danced tantalizingly upon the dirt path. One step at a time, Meowth followed it with his eyes cast to the ground. His pace was slow; though he walked for hours upon hours, he barely made it between towns. By the time night fell over the land, his legs were screaming at him to stop and take a break. His stomach, empty as it was, clawed through him, desperate for some morsel of food. His mouth was a dry wasteland, with no water to replenish the life in it. He supposed he had wasted all of his body water crying.

 

He barely registered any of the pain. Meowth didn't have a destination in mind. All he could will himself to do was to follow the big bright star in the black sky, intent on reaching wherever it led. The warm, reassuring light kept him going, kept him struggling, though his body tried everything it could to get him to stop.

 

Time became nothing more than an obsolete concept at the back of his head. He didn't know how long he had walked. Meowth's mind was in too much of a haze to keep track anymore. All he knew was that he had to keep moving. It didn't matter where he ended up, so long as he didn't stay in one place. Just keep moving forward, and for the love of _Arceus_ , don't look back.

 

He didn't know where he was. Didn't care. As long as he kept moving, he didn't care. But his legs stopped working, freezing him in his tracks. No matter how hard he tried to move, he couldn't budge. His head swam in black, a kaleidoscope of colors dancing in his eyes. Meowth had no clue when he had fallen, but the soft blades of grass caressed his lacerated body with such a gentleness it felt like two pairs of human arms scooping him up lovingly, holding him in a warm embrace between them.

 

A third voice whispered incomprehensible words into his ear, the voice a calm song lulling him to the alluring world of slumber.

 


	3. The Decision

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, thank you so much to all those who've reviewed and/or left kudos so far! If you couldn't tell, I was kinda nervous about putting this thing up, but I'm glad y'all are giving me a very nice response, so thank you ^^
> 
> Alright, a couple things:  
> 1\. I would recommend brushing up on a couple episodes before this, as I'm gonna mention a couple aspects from them that you might not immediately recall:  
> "Showdown at Pewter City" (EP005)  
> "Tears for Fears" (DP053)  
> You don't technically NEED them to understand the story, but it would be beneficial to brush up on them as a refresher
> 
> and 2. Guess I forgot to mention: the star I've been mentioning in the past two chapters is the same one from "Good 'Quil Hunting" (EP141). I th i n k it might have shown up in another episode or two, but if it has, the appearances are escaping me at the moment. But yeah. Same one. If you're feeling up to it, you can rewatch that episode too
> 
> Anyway, enough rambling for now. Enjoy!

Voices clamored around him, all a mess of echoing words he couldn't make sense of. Silhouettes danced in his vision, suffocating him, entangling him with their tendrils of limbs. Try as he did to move, he was paralyzed. Nothing worked; he couldn't speak, couldn't breathe.

 

Three figures, Meowth finally realized. Three figures grabbed at him, poked and prodded at him against his will. Their voices sounded so familiar, and yet he couldn't place them exactly. One had the passion and fierceness of Jessie's voice, another as emotional and motivated as James's. And the third—cool, calm, collected, commanding respect, just like Giovanni's.

 

That couldn't be possible. They weren't here. It couldn't be. And yet Meowth hoped.

 

The faded silhouettes began to take shape as the cat's head cleared. Jessie had her hair down, he noticed, topped off with some sort of beanie hat. And James was looking a lot shrimpier than usual. And the boss... his face was there, that strong chin a defined shape—but that hair? If Meowth could just manage a grimace...

 

“...should we do, then?” He made out one of them saying.

 

“....doesn't look good... must've collapsed from exhaustion...”

 

“....take him... Pokemon Center...?”

 

The words struck fear into his heart. They would take him back. Take him all the way back to the place where his friends' ghosts roamed, where they would hound him endlessly for deserting them. He couldn't go back—he just couldn't.

 

“N-no... no poke.. Pokemon Cent....” he croaked out. He prayed that they had heard him, as his own ears hadn't picked up what he had said.

 

The boss's figure seemed surprised at his attempt at speech. He turned to Jessie, mumbling something Meowth didn't quite catch. She left for a moment, returning with some blur of an object she wordlessly handed to Giovanni.

 

The cat felt his mouth being pried open, something cold and metallic held up to his lips. A crisp, tasteless liquid poured into his mouth through the tinny nozzle and down his throat. It took a few swallows for him to realize that he was being fed water, and he relished the chilling sensation of the drink dousing his dried throat. Somehow he missed a gulp, and ended up choking, coughing up the liquid as he struggled to regain his breath.

 

The water did something to clear his head. Suddenly he could see the sunlight, see the trees and leaves surrounding him. The three muddy figures of his friends began to take form into something else. The Giovanni figure slowly morphed into a boy in his late teens, his concerned slanted eyes fixated upon him. Jessie was no longer Jessie, but a girl with a round face and locks of navy blue. And surely enough, James's comforting presence contorted into the aggravating form of a short, determined kid just barely reaching adolescence, spiked hair topped with that unmistakable cap, and an annoying yellow rat hanging off his shoulder.

 

Of course he could never be rid of them. The twerps would continue to haunt him until the day he died.

 

Meowth blinked, desperately trying to clear his vision, trying to prove that his first assumption was correct, and that the annoying kids were the actual hallucination. But Giovanni was not there, and neither were Jessie or James. They just couldn't be. And in their place sat the troublesome twerp troop who had given him and his team hell on earth for almost their entire career.

 

“You okay?” the tall twerp asked. He held the canteen of water close, ready to feed the cat some more if need be. Meowth struggled to sit up, his arms trembling as he lifted his back off the ground. He slipped, and hated the kids even more when they were there to catch him. “You're in really bad shape,” the tall twerp—Brock, Meowth remembered his name being—murmured. He turned to the main twerp. “I think we need to get him to a Pokemon Center as soon as we can.”

 

“You can't,” the cat crooned out. He hated the way Brock gaped when Meowth stopped his reaching hands; he hated the way the others attempted to grab at him to keep him steady.

 

“But you need medical attention, Meowth. I don't know how much I can do for you here,” he tried to reason.

 

“Why don't you wanna go?” The main twerp questioned. His face contorted in confusion, his stupid brown eyes expressing a kind of concern the cat rarely received from him. He hated it.

 

“I can't go back...” Meowth replied. He hated how his voice made him sound so weak, how he sounded close to sobbing when no tears glazed his eyes. “Youse can't take me back... _please..._ ”

 

He hated begging.

 

They looked at each other, exchanging various glances of worry, before looking back at Meowth. Brock and Ash both opened their mouths, ready to ask something, but their questions seemed to have gotten lodged in their throats. It was the blue-haired twerpette who voiced the inquiry.

 

“Meowth, where are Jessie and James?”

 

He knew they would ask. He knew they would find it weird that he was here all alone, hurt, with neither of his partners by his side. He knew they would ask, and yet he prayed that they wouldn't.

 

“They're gone.”

 

The words didn't burn as much as the first time he had said them aloud, but it was like comparing the burn from a house fire to the burn from a forest fire. They both still hurt.

 

“Gone? What do you mean gone? Where did they go?” Ash asked. Meowth hated how he just didn't get it. He had just spelled it out for the twerp; what _more_ did he need?

 

“Oh...”

 

Brock's hum of realization caused Ash to look at him with bewilderment. Dawn's gasp of shock followed soon after.

 

“What? What does he mean?” Ash asked again. Dawn turned to him in a flash.

 

“Ash, he means that they're d—”

 

She couldn't force out the word, but Ash seemed to finally grasp what they all understood. His face paled. “Oh...” he mimicked Brock.

 

The silence wafted in the air as they all sat, trying to understand, trying to grasp the possibility that Jessie and James could actually be gone. Meowth hated the silence, but didn't wish for anyone to break it. Unfortunately, someone did.

 

“Well... what happened?” Ash spoke up. The cat grimaced, knowing they probably wouldn't let up until they knew. Before he could think of a way to avoid the topic, the words came spilling out.

 

“We was makin' our way through the forest after youse kids blasted us off,” he began. Through either his weakness of the body or weakness of the mind, he found it difficult to keep a good pace without running out of breath. “An' we ran into this huge group a' Ursaring. They was really mad about somethin', but I couldn't figure out what they was yellin' about... Then they attacked us, and—we didn't stand a _chance..._

 

“We got outta there, but it took us hours to find a town. An' once we did, all we could find was a Pokemon Center. Jess and Jim didn't have the energy to go on... So they had the nurses take me in...” He paused. His lungs struggled to take in air, his throat closing up once tears formed in his eyes. His paws took to balling up around the grass, pulling it out in clumps. “An'.... An' that was the last time I saw 'em...”

 

The others sat in silence, reveling in the new information. Meowth tossed his gaze to the ground, refusing to look at any of them. He heard Pikachu's chirping, the rodent's poor attempts to console him for his loss. Meowth hated the sound of his voice.

 

“I can't believe it...” Said Ash in a somber tone. He, too, looked to the ground, kneading the hem of his shirt to keep his anxious hands occupied. “Just like that?”

 

Meowth managed a nod.

 

“I don't get it,” Dawn interjected. The cat noticed the distinct lack of compassion in her words. She was literally in disbelief; almost like she thought he was lying to them. “Why'd the Ursaring attack you in the first place? What did you do?”

 

Meowth looked up at her with fire blazing in his eyes. “We didn't do _nothin'_! They just _attacked_ us, right outta nowhere!”

 

“You must've done something; why else would they be so angry?”

 

“She's got a point, Meowth,” Brock interrupted before Meowth could retort. “I know Ursaring are extremely territorial, but you're making it sound like something happened beforehand to cause them to lash out. What did they say?”

 

“I told you,” Meowth spat, “I couldn't understand what they was sayin'.”

 

“Well why not? I thought you could understand all pokemon speech,” Dawn countered. “This just sounds like you're covering up for some stupid thing you and your team did.”

 

“I _tried_ to reason with 'em, okay?! I fuckin' _tried_ , but they just wouldn't listen...” The cat didn't notice the hot wetness streaming down his cheeks, nor his breath hitching more and more with each insulting accusation they threw his way. Had he the strength and the intact claws, he wouldn't have hesitated to scratch those leery looks off their faces. He sneered up at the twerps, his blood boiling. “My friends are _dead_ because of 'em, and I don't even know why...”

 

“Guys,” Ash put in, cutting Dawn off from another response. “Lay off a little, will ya?” He looked Meowth directly in the eye, searching for something—earnestness, maybe. The cat glared right back. “I don't think he's making any of this up.”

 

Dawn and Brock looked at him, then each other. They all stayed quiet, trying to consider the possibility that he could be right. Brock bowed his head, sighing. “Maybe we should talk a little in private.”

 

Ash and Dawn nodded, and the three got up from their spots in the grass. Meowth watched them walk away, wiping his eyes dry with his paws as he scowled. How could they think he was lying to them? His injuries were as clear as day. Sure he had fibbed stories about ending his alliance with Team Rocket plenty of times in the past, but he couldn't even imagine lying about something like this.

 

Apparently, neither could Ash. The thought surprised him, that his biggest adversary would be the most willing to believe him. Then again, that was just how the twerp was: willing to believe whatever the cat said and give him a chance, even through all his trickery and deceit.

 

His kindness was almost touching. It was a shame it made him so sick.

 

“He's lying about something, I just know he is,” Meowth overheard Dawn saying.

 

“I don't think so, Dawn.” Brock countered in a more hushed tone. “You can't fake injuries like that.”

 

“Well, he's definitely not telling the whole truth! It's just like them to piss off some pack of pokemon like that. Only this time, they didn't slip away.”

 

“Take it easy, he just lost them...” Ash said.

 

“You're taking _his_ side, Ash? Did you just _forget_ all the times Team Rocket's screwed you over?”

 

“Well, no, but... He needs help, Dawn. You saw how he looked...”

 

“And what, are we just supposed to take care of him, like nothing happened?”

 

A pause.

 

“Well...”

 

The cat hissed under his breath as he lay his paws on the ground, fingers poised to uproot another clump of grass. He tuned the rest of the conversation out as best as he could, focusing on the faint buzzing in his ear instead. He didn't want to hear the final verdict.

 

Stupid kids. That's all they were. If they didn't believe him, fine. If they wanted to persecute him for something he didn't do, then fine. At this point, he expected nothing less of the twerps. Just a group of dumb kids that think they know what's right and what's wrong just because they're 'good people'.

 

They really were twerps. Meowth suddenly wondered why he and his posse had wasted so much time following them.

 

Then he begrudgingly remembered why.

 

“ _Hey.”_

 

He felt someone touch his shoulder, warm fur caressing his own. Even with a touch so gentle, he flinched.

 

As if on cue, Pikachu stood next to him, sad eyes consoling. Dawn's Piplup hung around behind the rat, eyeballing him as well. Meowth chanced a glance at the two; seeing their annoyingly sympathetic expressions forced him to turn away.

 

“ _Meowth, I'm...”_ Pikachu began. “ _I'm really sorry about Jessie and James.”_

 

The cat didn't respond. Pikachu's voice grated on his good ear.

 

“ _That must've been terrible...”_ he continued. “ _But—you know—we're here for you. Whatever you need, we'll all help you.”_

 

_“If Dawn lets him stick around, anyway,”_ Piplup's retort was quiet, yet just loud enough for both of the other pokemon to hear.

 

“ _Piplup...”_ Pikachu turned back to Meowth. “ _You know Ash is gonna do everything he can to help you. We all will. Just try to hang in there, okay?”_

 

Meowth peered right back at the rat, his cold sapphire eyes piercing daggers through Pikachu's tawny ones. In one swift movement, he quickly got to his feet and stomped past the two twerp pokemon, shoving his shoulder against Pikachu's as he pushed through.

 

He needed to leave. Just being around the twerps caused his skin to crawl. Where he planned to go, Meowth had no idea. As long as it wasn't here.

 

But he could hardly feel his legs anymore. His exhaustion still lingered, forcing him into a haze. He barely got a few steps past where he last lay before the twerpy kids finally made their return.

 

“Hey Meowth,” Ash said as he walked up. Meowth frowned when the twerp blocked his path. “We were wondering... Since Jessie and James aren't.... you know... What are you gonna do now?”

 

He hadn't considered it. In truth, his plan since leaving the Pokemon Center was simply to get _away_ , to walk for as long and as far as he could until something prevented him from doing so. He didn't know what he wanted to do, or what he should do. His best idea was just to keep moving forward across the landscape until his body completely shut down and ceased to function. But he couldn't tell them that.

 

“None a' your business, Twerp,” Meowth murmured back.

 

“You don't know, do you?” Dawn prodded. He almost growled back at her, sneering at her demeaning tone. But Meowth held his tongue.

 

“You know, you could stay with us for a while,” Ash suggested. Meowth nearly choked.

 

“No way.”

 

“B-but why not?”

 

“I can't even stand the _sight_ of you twerps. What makes you think I wanna be anywhere _near_ youse?”

 

“But Meowth,” Ash tried to reason. “We can help you—”

 

“I don't _NEED_ you're help, okay?!”

 

The kids hesitated in replying. Ash stood defensively, almost as if Meowth attacked him physically instead of with words. He looked hurt. Not because Meowth raised his voice, but because he so desperately wanted to push them away, convince them that he was in this hell alone.

 

Meowth shook his head, a single sniffle escaping him. “Unless.... Unless you got some way ta bring Jess and James back, then... Just-just leave me _alone_ , okay?”

 

Everyone stood quietly. Meowth turned his back on them, forcing his legs to lead him away from the band of twerps.

 

He walked a pathetically short distance before his limbs failed him. Sobs escaped him as he laid on the ground, knowing just how pathetic and weak he must have looked to the group. He couldn't get them to believe him, he couldn't get them to leave him be, and now he couldn't even muster up the strength to escape them.

 

Sad. Pathetic. Broken. That's what he was. That's all he had become: a cracked, empty, hollow shell that threatened to break apart into microscopic pieces at any second.

 

Someone knelt down to his level, hand hovering over his fallen figure.

 

“Meowth, you can't go on like this.” The cat recognized Brock's soft voice, tensing when the breeder brushed his hand along his back. “You need help. Let us take you to a Pokemon Center--”

 

“I ain't goin'.”

 

“Right...” Brock sighed. “Well... let me do what I can to fix you up, at least. And get some food in you, too. When's the last time you've eaten?”

 

He truly had to think. And even then, he couldn't come up with an answer. “I don't remember...” he mumbled.

 

Brock sighed again and ran a hand through his hair. “Well, we were gonna stop to make lunch pretty soon. So just stay with us until I can get you back on your feet. You can leave after that if you want...”

 

Meowth knew his body couldn't take anymore abuse. He knew he had pushed himself to the limit with his long journey here, without food, without water, without rest. Everything ached. His stitches were tugged and strained, allowing small beads of blood to seep through his bandages.

 

Though he wanted nothing more than to leave the twerps, to get up and walk away and never see their annoying faces again, it became abundantly clear that in the shape he was in, that wasn't a possibility.

 

“Fine.”

 

Brock omitted a sigh of relief.

 

“But once you're done, I ain't stickin' around no more.”

 

“Okay.”

 

Meowth tried to get up, but made very minimal progress before the breeder scooped him up in his arms. “Hey, lemme go!” he shouted. He clawed and bit, but Brock held him steady.

 

“It's not far. Once we stop, I'll let you go.”

 

Meowth stopped his resisting, quickly rendered exhausted by the task. The three twerps began walking, each with their own respective pokemon in their arms. Meowth could see Pikachu back up on his usual spot on Ash's shoulder, gazing down with worry at the injured cat. Meowth looked away, squeezing his eyes shut, trying to pretend this wasn't happening.

 

* * *

 

They stopped in a small grass field a little ways from where they had found him. Brock began cooking for the others, and decided to pass on his own lunch in order to fix Meowth up. He tightened the cat's stitches and cleaned up the blood matting his fur, replacing his worn bandages with fresh new ones. With a couple potions and some disinfectant, Meowth was in spic and span condition—except for the fact that his body refused to respond to him.

 

Despite their insisting, Meowth refused to eat. The food they offered looked especially appetizing, and yet he felt sick looking at it. He barely noticed his hunger, though it screamed so loudly. But his urge to get away screamed louder.

 

Unfortunately, Brock insisted on keeping him there with him and the rest of the twerps. He refused to let the cat leave until he rested and regained his strength. Meowth tried to ignore him and just walk out on his own, but once again the numbness overtook his form, and once again he was stuck.

 

Nighttime approached with rapid speed. The sun began its retreat to the mountains above the horizon, painting the sky with a million warm colors. Brock cooked dinner for everyone once they had stopped their daily traveling by the shoreline of a small lake.

 

Each twerp let their pokemon out, ready to feed them and let them play. A few looked to Meowth with confusion, some with anger, others with worry. He noted Buneary and Croagunk eyeing him in particular, the former with aggravation, the latter with... whatever it was that Croagunk felt when he looked at Meowth.

 

“ _What's_ _ **he**_ _doing here?_ ” He heard Buneary question.

 

“ _He looks terrible,_ ” Staravia added on. “ _What do you think happened?_ ”

 

“ _Whatever happened, he didn't let it happen enough._ ”

 

Meowth paid them no mind. He left them with a sideways leer, staying as far away from the pack of pokemon as possible.

 

“Here, Meowth.” Brock offered him a tray full of food. The cat stared at the meal of soup and bread like it was poison. “Take it,” the breeder insisted. “You'll regain your strength a lot quicker if you eat.”

 

“Brock's cooking is the _best_ , Meowth,” Ash said encouragingly, shoving half of his soup-dipped bread into his mouth. “There's nothin' like it.”

 

“Certainly better than whatever your used to, probably,” Dawn added on. She simply shrugged when Brock gave her a sideways glance. He looked back to the cat, sighing.

 

“Come on.” He held the tray steadily in his hands. Meowth stared long and hard, taking in the delicious, savory scent of the soup. Without a word, he snatched the tray away, then headed over to a log overlooking the water, far away from the group.

 

He had no intentions of actually eating. He just wanted them all to stop bothering him. Perhaps they wouldn't notice if he just dumped the soup in the lake and pretended like he had eaten. The potions Brock fixed him up with made him feel a little better, perhaps he could try again to slip away without anyone noticing.

 

The grass rustled. Meowth felt some sort of warm presence approaching him, and quickly turned to tell them off. “What the hell do you want?”

 

But the intruder of his privacy was not one of the twerps, nor Pikachu or Piplup. It was Chimchar, looking quite unsettled at Meowth's harsh tone.

 

“Oh...” The cat quickly lowered his voice. “If it ain't my old pal, Chimmy.”

 

Something about the fire monkey always managed to bring some warmth into Meowth's heart. Perhaps it was because he knew how much Chimchar had gone through, and how he was able to overcome all of it despite the odds. Meowth remembered himself rooting for him on multiple occasions, along with Jessie and James, even if Chimchar was battling against them. Every fight just made him stronger, got him closer to his goal.

 

“ _Um... Can I sit here?_ ” Chimchar asked hesitantly. Meowth nodded.

 

“Pipe down over here, kid.” Meowth scooted over on his log. In truth, he preferred his solitude over anyone's company, but he supposed if he had to choose someone to be around, it would be the monkey.

 

Chimchar inched forward, paws wringing his bowl of pokemon food. As he sat, he tried to meet the cat's eyes, but was almost afraid to. “ _Pi-Pikachu told us what happened,”_ he informed. Meowth scowled.

 

“Of course the little rat couldn't keep his mouth shut,” he growled. A film reel played in his mind, showing him what he imagined Pikachu had said, how 'concerned' and 'distressed' he sounded when he told everyone that his arch enemies were now dead in a ditch. He clenched his fists around his tray, ready to toss it into the lake in front of him, but another look at Chimchar's saddened demeanor prevented him from doing so.

 

“ _I'm really sorry...”_ Chimchar continued.

 

Meowth let his shoulders slump, and stared emptily at the tray in front of him. A pain clenched his heart, but he barely winced. Finally, he sighed. “Ain't your fault, kid.”

 

“ _I know, but... You shouldn't have had to go through that,_ ” Chimchar replied. “ _That was just unfair to you guys..._ ”

 

“Yeah, well... Sometimes life deals you a crappy hand, Chimmy. Ain't nothin' you can do about it.” The words felt so educational coming out of his mouth. Probably something he should have been telling himself and trying to believe. But Chimchar was right: they _shouldn't_ have had to go through it. “Guess we was just at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

 

The monkey stayed quiet for a few minutes, unable to respond. Meowth noticed him slowly eating his food, one pellet at a time, eyes switching between the setting sun and the cat's unmoving form. Chimchar twitched, shifting uncomfortably, waiting for Meowth to say something, or perhaps just trying to think of something to say, himself. The cat sighed, and opened his mouth to tell him to go back to his friends, but Chimchar interrupted him before he could get a word out.

 

“ _What are you gonna do?_ ”

 

He hadn't come up with an answer to that question since the afternoon. All Meowth could think of was just to get out, away from the twerps, to sever all potential ties with him and anything that reminded him of his lost friends. But he settled with, “I dunno, kid. Get outta here, for one thing.”

 

“ _But why?_ ”

 

“Chimmy, I—” Meowth swallowed, his throat suddenly dry. “I just gotta keep movin', 'kay? There ain't nothin' for me here with you twerps. Nothin' but... bad memories and....” He thought of Dawn; how suspicious she was about his story and his motives. He thought of how everyone's pokemon all looked at him when they saw him there; how Croagunk did nothing but glare the entire time he was there, how snooty and flustered Buneary sounded when she wondered aloud why he was even here. “And people who obviously don't want me to stick around...”

 

“ _Nobody wants you to leave,_ ” Chimchar tried to reassure. “ _They're just confused, that's all. I don't think they really realize what's happened._ ”

 

Meowth snorted. They all hated him, he knew that. Hated him for all the things he put them through, all the times he screwed something up for them or for someone they just met, all the awful things he did. And he certainly didn't blame them. “Wishful thinkin', Chimmy.”

 

“ _Well... Ash doesn't want you to leave. He wants to help you. Sure he probably doesn't completely understand what you're going through, but he'll do everything he can to help get you through it. And, well... I don't really want you to leave, either._ ”

 

Meowth chanced a look at the monkey. Chimchar still averted his eyes, frightened that anything more he could say could upset the cat. But the earnestness was there. Meowth could feel it radiating off of him like warm rays from the sun. It shocked him, how much concern he was showing for the Rocket. Almost confusingly so.

 

“Why do you care so much about what I do, kid?” He meant it as a genuine question. No sarcasm, no suspicions, just pure curiosity.

 

Chimchar finally rose to meet Meowth's gaze. The corners of his mouth tugged upwards slightly in an affectionate grin. “ _Because a long time ago, you helped me get through the tough times when I needed it most._ ”

 

Meowth felt something pulling at his face. It took him a moment to realize that he was smiling, actually _smiling_. It felt like forever since he had last had something to smile about. He couldn't believe Chimchar remembered that long ago, and especially what little he had done for the monkey. Something stuck, he supposed.

 

He managed a single, small chuckle. “Guess I did do that, didn't I?”

 

“ _I haven't forgotten,_ ” Chimchar said. “ _I just wish I could do the same for you._ ”

 

His smile disappeared. “Don't beat yourself up over it, Chimmy.”

 

They sat on the log, watching in silence as the sun vanished beyond the horizon, and the starry night took its place. No moon in the sky tonight, Meowth noticed. He frowned. He knew it would return to its full, beautiful state in a matter of days, but the fact that its comforting presence no longer graced the empty sky unsettled him.

 

At least his star was there, bright, flashing in a brilliant, colorful light. It was still there, smiling softly at him, embracing him with its warm, tender glow.

 

“ _I think you should stay_.”

 

Meowth turned to face him, noting that Chimchar was staring ahead at the same star. His eyes sparkled in its radiant light.

 

“ _Ash'll help you get through this. He helped me when I thought all hope was lost. All of them did. You should at least give it a chance._ ”

 

“You really think so, huh?”

 

“ _Mm-hmm._ ”

 

Meowth let out a sigh. He doubted Ash could help him in the same way he managed to help Chimchar. No one could. But the monkey seemed set on the idea that his trainer could manage it. And he would hate to disappoint Chimchar.

 

He put a paw on his untouched bread. It was still warm, moist, with just the right amount of crackle to its crust. Meowth tore off a piece and dipped it into the steaming soup. He took in the scent, relishing the seasoned aroma wafting through the air.

 

Tentatively, he stuck the piece in his mouth. The bread melted the moment his tongue grazed it, filling his taste buds with a shower of flavors. Salty, with just a hint of spice, complimented nicely by the vegetables and bread. He almost shed a tear, having not realized how desperately he had missed the taste of food.

 

“Why don't you head on back to your pals?” Meowth suggested without looking at his companion.

 

Chimchar seemed uneasy with the request. Almost as if he didn't feel quite right leaving Meowth to his own thoughts. He looked over to the cat, the worry clear in his shining eyes.

 

“I'll be fine,” Meowth affirmed. Chimchar nodded quietly, then scooted off the log. The air seemed much chillier without the monkey there. The world became significantly quieter once he was no longer in Meowth's line of view, but he could tell that the kid was lingering, taking his time slowly shuffling back to his companions. “Hey, Chimmy?”

 

Upon the call, Chimchar turned back.

 

“Thanks.”

 

Chimchar gave a wide, toothy grin, relieved at having helped, even just a little. With a wave, he bounded off to the group of other pokemon. Meowth watched him go, noticing the way Chimchar's presence seemed to relieve some of the pokemon. He noted Pikachu in particular talking personally to him. The cat sneered, then decided to return to his meal.

 

He couldn't finish it. In truth, it wasn't a very large portion, and he knew that Brock had previously welcomed him to seconds, but he lost his appetite after he finished the bread and half the soup. His stomach had just clenched, and suddenly all he could think about was just how full this meal was.

 

Meowth remembered not so long ago when him and Jessie and James often times had nothing but a single cookie to share. They'd each break a piece off: Jessie always managed to snag the biggest portion because of her 'illegal wrist movements', as James and himself always liked to call it. Sometimes Meowth would lie about somehow losing his piece, and James—the big old pushover he was—believed it every time and forfeited his chunk just so he could help the cat not starve.

 

Thinking back, Meowth couldn't believe he actually felt bad for doing that. He couldn't believe he missed getting into fist fights with the two just over a moldy slice of bread that they would somehow manage to to misplace anyways.

 

He knew he missed them, but he just couldn't believe how _much_ he truly did.

 

The soup had gone cold by the time Meowth decided to pitch it. The warm feeling it had given him had been nice, but it wore away quickly. He sighed. Clinks and clutters sounded distantly behind him, alerting him that the twerps were all about done with their meals as well. Meowth turned to watch Brock gather up all the dishes into one pile, ready to haul them off to the lake in order to wash them all clean. He saw Chimchar, quietly chatting with Pikachu and Piplup, looking content, but still a bit anxious.

 

Well... He supposed now would be a good a time as any to let them all know what his decision was.

 

Everyone stopped what they were doing when Meowth hobbled his way over to the group. They waited in silence, waiting for whatever he came to say. He swallowed. Something in his gut told him he would regret this.

 

“I, uh...” His throat felt dry, even through all the water he had drank. “I think I'm gonna stick around for a while...”

 

Some smiled, others widened their eyes in surprise. Chimchar's face split into a large grin, and he tackled Meowth in a tight hug. Meowth flinched, and upon noticing it, Chimchar immediately released him and backed away with a sheepish look. Ash opened his mouth to say something, but Meowth cut him off before he could get a word in.

 

“Just for a _few days_. Then I'm outta here,” he confirmed. He rubbed at his arm, over the leftover warmth of Chimchar that lingered on his fur. “So don't get touchy or nothin'.”

 

Ash just grinned—that dopey, reassuring smile that he gave to all the pokemon he met. Meowth cringed, and took a step back when the trainer got on his knee to match his height. “I'm glad to hear that, Meowth,” he said. “You can stay as long as you want.”

 

“Trust me, I ain't stickin' around for more than a week.”

 

“Well, in any case, we're all here to help you. Whatever you need, we've got you covered.” Meowth refrained from scoffing and rolling his eyes, and just settled for a less-than-enthused frown. Ash offered his hand to the pokemon, who just stared. A moment of silence passed before he begrudgingly took it. They shook just once; a strong, reaffirming shake with Ash's warm, slightly sweaty hand firmly grasping Meowth's loose one. “Welcome to the group, Meowth.”

 

Meowth took his paw back, clasping it with his other paw. He averted his gaze to the ground, uncomfortable knowing that everyone around him was staring. “Yeah, sure.”

 

* * *

 

The tents were up by the time the sun's rays disappeared. Each twerp cleaned themselves up in the lake, then one by one, turned in to their respective shelters. They gave Meowth the spare blanket and pillow when he refused the spot Ash offered to sleep in within his tent.

 

He stayed on the log by the lake, the pillow and blanket making for a comfortable and cozy bed. The warmth they supplied felt so peculiar to him. Normally all he had to keep in the heat was his own fur. The blanket felt good, comfy, but just served as a reminder to the situation he was stuck in.

 

“Lemme guess: you can't remember the last time you slept, either, right?”

 

Brock had come up behind him without him noticing, approaching so softly that Meowth's heightened pokemon senses couldn't catch him. Or maybe it was his own perception that had been slowly dwindling away.

 

Brock sat next to him on the log, keeping a comfortable distance between himself and the cat. Meowth just hummed in response to his assumption, refusing to make eye contact.

 

“Rough few days, huh?” The breeder questioned. Meowth unconsciously scratched at his wounds, noting how sticky and itchy they felt wrapped in the bandages. He recalled earlier when all of the twerps' pokemon had made comments about what an awful state he was in, how exhausted and drained he had looked when they found him. They were right, of course. Everything felt terrible, mentally and physically. He could barely keep his eyes open, yet couldn't find the energy to sleep.

 

Meowth stared at the water. It seemed so smooth and calm, shimmering in the light of the stars. Too peaceful, he decided. Too open, too exposed.

 

“My mom passed away when I was ten,” Brock said. Meowth frowned at the twerp's attempt to relate to him, and at the anecdote that was sure to follow. “Cancer; there was nothing we could do about it. My dad was out on his Pokemon journey when it happened. I guess he heard about it somehow, and he used his grief as an excuse to stay away from home. I got stuck taking care of my brothers and sisters all on my own, and the gym too. It kept me from going on my own pokemon journey. All the things I wanted to do on my own just faded away into dreams.

 

“And when my dad finally came back, he brought someone new with him. I didn't even know about her until I called home one day to check up on everyone. She's nice enough. I know she's doing all she can to help out with the kids, and my dad loves her more than anything, but... I can't get used to her. It's like there's a hole in my life where my mom used to be, and Lola's trying to fill that hole the best she can. But it's just not the same.”

 

He knew what Brock was trying to convey. And hearing his story just made Meowth feel even more sick. “I miss 'em,” he whispered, not knowing what else to say.

 

“I know.” Brock didn't attempt to meet Meowth's gaze, nor did he lay a hand on the cat to try and comfort him. He just stared quietly ahead at the lake, hands clasped together as he rested his elbows on his knees. “It's hard. It feels like your world's crashing down all around you, and you can't do a thing to stop it. Everyday, you wake up, and hope that somehow, someway, it was all just a bad dream. And that they're still there...”

 

“When do you get used to it?” Meowth found himself mirroring Brock's body language, anxiously wringing his paws together, looking anywhere but at his consort.

 

“You don't, really.” Brock sighed and bowed his head. “You just learn to live with it.”

 

The cat scratched at the top of his head, eyelids drooping low when he felt the broken edge of his once beautiful, pristine charm. Cracked, shattered, just like his hopes. Nothing could replace it. Nothing could replace them.

 

“You should try to get some sleep,” the breeder suggested. He stood up, wiping the wood chips that clung onto his pants away. “You'll feel a lot better when you do.”

 

Meowth nodded quietly, but didn't move from his position. He simply laid his head back to rest upon the pillow behind him. Brock began to walk away, but stopped his stride after a few steps.

 

“Oh, and, uhm... If you ever need to talk...” Meowth crooned his head just a little bit, just to match eyes with Brock for a second. “I'm here.”

 

“Yeah...” the cat replied in a soundless whisper. Brock sauntered over to back to his tent, closing it behind him. Meowth watched until the zipper was all the way up before turning back to his own makeshift bed. Sighing, ears in a constant state of droopiness, he shuffled around until he could find a semi-comfortable way to lay before he finally closed his eyes.

 

His dreams held nothing but nightmares.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear to god I like Dawn. I just feel like she'd be the most skeptical about this whole thing, that's all.
> 
> Also, that last Brock part's completely my headcanon, if you couldn't already guess. I just.... it BOTHERS me so much, the inconsistency of the anime. Very first episode he's introduced in, they say his mom's super dead. Next thing we know, surprise! His mom was there all along!! I mean... Maybe it's just because I mostly watch the dub, and everything's different in the subs, but.. I dunno. It's just bothersome.
> 
> Anyhoo, that's all for now. Next part coming at ya tomorrow


	4. The Star

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all are spoiling me with your reviews omg  
> I love you all so much ;^;
> 
> Anyhoo, enough of that for now. Recommended rewatchings for this episode come in two consecutive episodes:  
> 1\. Shield With a Twist (DP102)  
> 2\. Jumping Rocket Ship (DP103)  
> Just as a notification for when exactly this story takes place. SWaT is involved more with the next chapter than it is, this chapter, but there are some aspects of it that are in this chapter, too. And JRS introduces a small development of Meowth that I don't think is brought up in the series ever again, so it's completely understandable if you forgot that it ever was a thing to begin with  
> Sorry to say, but Barry's not in this fic. As much as I adore him, I don't think he'd fit very well in here lol
> 
> They're some small mentions of Lights, Camera, Quacktion (EP069) and Same Old Song and Dance (EP243), but they're so small, I don't think you really neeeeeeed to brush up on them :/
> 
> Alright. Hoo boy. Let's go.

 

The small convenience greeted them with a quiet and inviting atmosphere. Aside from a few other shoppers, they were the only ones who occupied the otherwise empty aisles. The twerps went ahead and searched around for whatever they needed, restocking on potions and medicines, as well as some snacks for the road. Meowth followed them in, but kept his distance from everyone. He quietly shuffled through the small aisles, sneaking occasional glances at the items stocking the shelves.

 

“Hey Meowth,” Brock called over, adding another couple of potions to his shopping basket. “If you see something you want, let me know, and I'll buy it for you.”

 

The cat nodded silently, then turned away from the breeder. He sighed, pacing through the aisles without an aim for where to go. It had been three days since the twerps had found him. Each of them had tried to reach out to him multiple times, even Dawn, to his surprise. But he grew more reserved with each passing moment.

 

Just days ago, he would have wept at the mere mention of his friends' deaths. Now, he just grew annoyed whenever someone brought it up. Meowth felt more and more desensitized to it the longer it settled in, the more anyone tried to prod him about it. He wasn't sure if that was a good thing.

 

Something caught his eye: a neatly folded white paper bag with a dozen round, perfectly stacked gingersnap cookies as its contents. The exact same ones James insisted on buying whenever they had the money to. The very same ones the three often had to split into three almost-even pieces just to get by when they ran out of food. Precisely the same ones that had brought them back together when they had once been driven apart by their own silly mistakes.

 

Meowth snatched a bag from the shelf without even thinking. The cookies felt heavy in his paws, as he was unfamiliar with holding a bag so full. They weren't even that good, he remembered. Certainly not terrible, but not good, either. But now he craved the taste of the spiced ginger, desperate to feel their hard crunch snap under the pressure of his teeth. He traced a finger over the surface, grazing over the cellophane window that showed the bag's contents. His heart jumped—the first reaction he had had from it in a while—as he looked around the store, searching for the twerps.

 

He could steal them. His first reflexive instinct was to simply walk out the store with them in hand. He'd rather deal with the twerps' scolding than ask for their help with such a simple task as buying something for him. Like he would ever stoop to a level so pitiful and low. Meowth made it to the door before he even realized he had made a decision.

 

But when he caught sight of Brock and the others gathered around the checkout station, unaware of his crime-in-progress, Meowth's small glimmer of hope vanished. Suddenly, the blissful reminder of his friends that he held in his hands was nothing more than an overpriced, heavy package of junk he was aimlessly carrying around. He couldn't have these. He just.... couldn't. He couldn't even bring himself to shoplift them. The cookies just.... didn't belong with him. He didn't deserve them.

 

His grip on the cookie pack loosened, to the point where he almost dropped it. Ash mindlessly looked over his way, meeting eyes with him for just a second. Meowth took that second as his cue to return the snack to where he had found it.

 

He placed the bag neatly back on the shelf as quickly and as carefully as he could. Normally, it didn't matter to him where he left an item he didn't need, but Meowth felt almost as if it would be wrong to leave the cookies discarded sloppily somewhere they didn't belong. He took a step back, sighing as he stared at them. A corner was slightly askew, he noticed, the paper wrinkled and bent. He pushed the corner back into place.

 

Heavy footsteps stomped up behind him. Thick, terrain-resistant combat boots. They didn't stop once they reached where Meowth was standing. The cat jumped out of the way with a gasp, just narrowly missing being stepped on.

 

“Hey, watch where you're goin', will ya?!” He shouted at the person who nearly clobbered him.

 

The man in question stopped at the sound of Meowth's voice for just a moment. He turned his head to meet the cat's gaze. Dark, black eyes peered down at him, fury evident on his hardened face. Meowth's frown disappeared. Something seemed disgustingly familiar about the man. His rugged beard matching the color of his dark green hair obscured his face, but Meowth was almost sure he had seen it before. He had definitely seen that look of pure, unkempt rage before.

 

Before Meowth could begin to question him, the man walked out of the store. The cat stood, staring, suddenly feeling sick to his stomach. He strode back to the door, watching as the man disappeared around the corner.

 

“What's up, Meowth?” Ash asked, walking up behind him. Dawn and Brock followed suit, looking at the Rocket with curious glances. Meowth continued to stare through the glass, not bothering to turn and face his companions.

 

“...Nothin',” he murmured. “Just... thought I saw someone I knew.”

 

The three had definitely heard the small commotion Meowth had caused with his shouting. Whether or not they saw who he was referring to, however, he had no idea.

 

Dawn lowered her voice, gazing around the shop as if suspicious that someone could be listening in on them. “Another Rocket?”

 

Meowth shook his head. Truthfully, he had no clue where he could have possibly seen the man from, before. For all he knew, the guy could have just been some random towns-person he saw while passing through. Something didn't sit quite right with him, though. It drove him crazy that he didn't know what.

 

“Well, whoever he was, he's gone now,” Brock said. Meowth frowned, as did Ash and Dawn, both obviously curious about the perpetrator's identity. “Let's go, guys—I think it's about time for lunch.”

 

The breeder held up a couple packages of fresh hot dogs. Ash, easily distracted from his thoughts by the concept of food, almost cheered and jumped in his spot.

 

“Well what are we waiting for? Let's go!” He sprung out the doorway, Pikachu bounding off his shoulder at Ash's light-hearted challenge of a race. Dawn rolled her eyes and laughed, following at her own pace with Brock by her side. Meowth followed suit, eyes darting to the corner the mysterious man disappeared off to.

 

He was gone, now. That was for sure. Meowth sighed, shaking his head; perhaps he was thinking too much into this...

 

* * *

 

“Buizel—Water Gun! Chimchar—Flamethrower, just like we practiced!”

 

Ash had finished his lunch early, eager to move on to his daily training. His next and fifth gym battle was nearing, so he spent almost every chance he got practicing with his Buizel, Chimchar, and Pikachu. The others stayed and ate at the vacant picnic table they had found in the park, occasionally glancing up to watch Ash's rather theatrical pokemon moves—definitely moves Meowth wasn't used to seeing from him.

 

“Hey, looks like there's a pokemon contest in Majolica Town tomorrow!” Dawn said. She showed the newspaper article she was reading to Brock, who took a moment away from frying hot dogs to take a look. “You know, that's not too far from here. Maybe we can swing by before Ash's battle!”

 

“Maybe. You sure you'll be ready for it, though?” the breeder replied. “You haven't had a lot of time to practice with everything that's been going on.”

 

Dawn frowned, resting her head on her palm. “Hmm... Maybe not. I guess I wouldn't really have enough time to plan.”

 

_'That never stopped Jessie,'_ Meowth couldn't help but think to himself.

 

Brock stabbed three hot dogs off the pan with a fork, carrying them off and into their respective buns before handing the plate over to the cat. Meowth greedily grabbed them, stuffing one whole dog and half of another into his mouth at once. Laughably, once he started eating again, Meowth found himself not being able to stop. He saw it as the long-awaited return of his big appetite. Brock saw it as overindulgence, yet another symptom accompanying his blatant depression.

 

“Is Zoey going?” Brock asked. The mention of her friend's name snapped Dawn out of her disappointed state. “If she's competing, then I don't see why we couldn't stop by and watch.”

 

“No... She said she was gonna visit her friend up in Snowpoint and try and find some other contest along the way.” She frowned. “Arceus only knows where Nando and Kenny are. 'bout the only one I can think of that'll be there is Jessilina. Probably with _another_ new performance style.”

 

Meowth swallowed. “She won't be there.”

 

“Huh? How do you know?” Dawn asked.

 

“'Cause she's dead.”

 

“ _What?!”_ Dawn gasped. She glared at Meowth. “Th-there's no way! Meowth, that is a _sick_ joke. You're _sick!_ ”

 

“I ain't lyin'.” The cat finished off the other half of his hot dog, not taking his eyes off of Dawn's.

 

“Well, how would you even know that? It's not like you knew her personally.”

 

“Actually...” He grabbed his last hot dog, blinking slowly. Though Dawn never faltered in her offense, she grew just the smallest bit uncomfortable under Meowth's unwavering stare. “I knew her _real_ personally. We was even best friends.”

 

“Whu—.... _How?”_

 

“In all those battles youse two had, it never occurred to you? The long red hair, all the pokemon she used, all that giddiness and overconfidence, all the times she degraded you, and you still gots no clue?”

 

Dawn paused. Brock watched the two hesitantly, grimacing when he realized what Meowth was getting at. Dawn soon followed. “W-wait, you don't mean that that was all—” She stopped herself. Her shoulders slumped, and she turned away from Meowth and down to her fiddling hands. “Oh my god...”

 

Meowth shook his head, downright flabbergasted. “You know, youse twerps never cease to amaze me with how stupid you are. We coulda worn our uniforms with nothin' changed 'cept for a monocle and a fake mustache, and you _still_ woulda been stumped.”

 

The twerpette shook her head, eyes wide and evading contact with anyone. “It all makes sense now... I don't know how I didn't see it before...”

 

“You okay, Dawn?” Brock asked. He put a comforting hand on her shoulder.

 

“Yeah, yeah, I just...” She took a moment to breathe. “I can't believe it. I kinda feel sick now...”

 

“Somethin' tells me you'll get over it soon,” Meowth muttered, shoving the last hot dog into his mouth. “You didn't seem to care much when I told you Jess and Jim were gone, so why start now?”

 

The way Meowth's words rolled off his tongue with no hint of emotion, no sadness or anger, did nothing but disgust Dawn. “Of _course_ I care,” she seethed.

 

“Why? Youse two weren't friends.”

 

The plates and utensils clinked against the table when Dawn slammed her fist against it. “Ugh! What is _wrong_ with you?!” She shouted.

 

Meowth simply looked at her, eyelids drooping in vexation. Before he could say anything back, someone interrupted him.

 

“What's going on over here?” Ash asked with concern. His pokemon followed, unsettled by the amount of hostility in the air.

 

Dawn swung her arm in Meowth's direction, pointing accusingly at the cat. “He's being a little butt-munching jerk again!”

 

Meowth shrugged in response. “She's pretendin' to care about somethin' she don't really care about,” he retorted calmly.

 

“Oh my god, would you just _stop_ , already?!” She shouted back, standing up from her seat. Meowth didn't move, merely stared.

 

Brock put his hands out cautiously. “Guys, guys, come on. Don't fight,” He said. “It was all just a big misunderstanding. There's no need to get angry.”

 

“Tell that to _him_ ,” Dawn muttered under her breath.

 

Ash looked at the three whilst he rubbed the back of his head. Having only overheard part of their argument, he didn't really know what to do to get them to calm down and apologize to each other. Dawn refused to look at Meowth, and Meowth at Dawn. The two stayed silent. Brock hovered carefully between them, ready to break them up should something physical go down. Pikachu hummed quietly at Ash's feet, clearly distressed about the situation. The trainer sighed.

 

“Hey Meowth,” he started. Without turning his head, the cat gazed over. “Why don't you have a battle with me?”

 

“Yes, _please_ do that,” Dawn growled out, clearly wanting to be as far away from Meowth as possible.

 

“Pass.”

 

“Oh come on,” Ash coaxed. Battling was the one thing he knew best. If nothing else, Meowth could use it as an excuse to let off some steam. The cat was clearly frustrated, even though his feline features tried so hard not to let any emotions show. “It'll be fun! And it'll help take your mind off of everything.”

 

“It might not be such a bad idea, Meowth,” Brock put in. “It'll be good for you to get some exercise. And you'll feel a lot better, too.”

 

“I ain't interested,” Meowth growled.

 

“We'll go easy on you.” Ash refused to give up. “You can battle Buizel and me.”

 

Upon hearing his name, the weasel piped up, chirping in response. Meowth still shook his head.

 

“No _thanks._ ” He sighed, aimlessly reaching for his plate. He frowned when his paw fell on empty porcelain. “I need some more hot dogs over here.”

 

“Those were the last ones,” Brock said.

 

Meowth closed his eyes, exasperation evident on his face. He raised his paws up in a pseudo-shrug. “Everything ends, don't it?”

 

Without another word, he swung himself off the bench, shuffling over to where Ash previously practiced. The trainer watched, surprised when Meowth stopped and waited.

 

“Let's get this over with,” he muttered. Ash nodded, then followed suit, racing towards the other end of the makeshift battlefield. Pikachu and Chimchar mosied over to the sidelines, watching with anticipation.

 

Meowth and Buizel moved into position, taking their stances. Both pokemon matched each other's gazes, though Buizel was clearly taking this more seriously than Meowth was.

 

“Take it easy on him, Ash,” Brock called over. “He's still recovering.”

 

“I know,” Ash replied. “You ready for this, Meowth?”

 

“Ready as I'll ever be.”

 

“Alright then!” Ash shouted. With an unmatched passion, he pointed in Meowth's direction, a wide grin spread across his face. “Buizel, Aqua Jet!”

 

Buizel chirped in compliance, and quickly surrounded himself with a spiral of water. With the force, he propelled himself forward towards Meowth at a breakneck pace. The cat dove out of the way, missing him so narrowly he could feel the water droplets flying off.

 

He pushed his jump farther than he needed to, feeling an unconventional need to avoid the attack at all costs. It landed him onto the ground, where he had to slowly pick himself back up. Meowth readjusted his stance, turning quickly to watch his opponent.

 

The weasel broke out of his water barrier, once again facing his adversary. Meowth extended his claws, launching into an array of Fury Swipes. Quick on his feet, Buizel easily dodged each attack. He jumped back to distance himself, patiently awaiting Ash's next instruction.

 

“Try a Sonic Boom!” the trainer called out.

 

Buizel launched himself into the air. Using his twin tails, he fired off multiple rays of sharp, compressed wind. Meowth dodged the first one, managed to use his Scratch attack to destroy the second one, but couldn't move out of the way in time for the third. The beam sent him flying, tumbling into the grass. He seemed to imagine more of the pain than he actually felt, but he cursed himself for failing to keep up anyways.

 

There was no way he'd be able to land a hit on Buizel. He was just that much more adept to battling than Meowth was, and could easily read his movements before Meowth had a chance to pull them off. He could hardly focus, could barely see where Buizel moved. He trembled, his breathing hard and shaky. It didn't feel right to continue—he knew what it was that was bothering him so, and it wasn't the battle—but he refused to give up to some stupid trauma. He could overcome it.

 

There was one move Buizel and Ash didn't know about that Meowth could use. He hadn't perfected it, but maybe this time, he would pull it off. If he could surprise them, then maybe he could get an upper hand.

 

“Still okay to keep going?” Ash questioned.

 

Meowth steadied himself, gritting his teeth and shaking his head free of thoughts. “Of course,” he responded.

 

Normally any battle Meowth participated in would have ended by now. Just one or two hits, and he was down for the count. And he wanted this to be over, too. There was no way he could win; he was only prolonging the inevitable by going on. But something inside of him wanted to at least try, at least attempt to pull this off.

 

Meowth sprung into action towards Buizel, claws extended. Buizel practically slid along the grass with how fast he ran. With each passing second, the weasel drew closer and closer. Meowth breathed, focusing all of his energy into his claws, growing increasingly aware that he might not even have enough time to create the dark energy needed. He focused, squeezing his eyes shut.

 

He felt it. That dark aura pulsating around his paws. His mouth gaped for just a moment, realizing that he had actually achieved it. He might actually land a hit with his new move! Just as Buizel and him met eye to eye, Meowth raised his claws, ready to swipe down and slash the weasel right in his face.

 

But then it disappeared. In the blink of an eye, his Night Slash was gone. Dissolved into thin air. Suddenly his opponent was no longer Buizel, but a rabid, furious Ursaring, teeth coated in his friends' blood. Meowth gasped; his pupils shrank. His shock gave Buizel the perfect opportunity to strike.

 

“Water Pulse!”

 

Before Meowth could react, Buizel raised a sizable sphere of water above his head, slamming it into the ground between them. The resulting wave knocked Meowth clean off his feet, sending him tumbling to the ground.

 

Water dripped from his fur and whiskers, soaking him to the bone. The longer he laid in the grass, the more he could feel the dirt beneath him turning to mud. Meowth made no attempt to move.

 

It was over.

 

“ _You alright?_ ” Buizel asked. Meowth didn't respond, didn't look at his opponent. Clearly uncomfortable with the awkward silence, Buizel turned to Ash, returning to his trainer with an air of uncertainty.

 

“Good job, Buizel,” Ash murmured. He called the weasel back to his respective pokeball. “Take a rest.”

 

Meowth could feel everyone staring him down: Ash, the pokemon, the other twerps. He shivered, not quite feeling humiliated, but definitely something of the sort that made him want to bury himself in the dirt.

 

“ _Here._ ”

 

Pikachu had meandered his way over to Meowth without him realizing. The rat held out a paw to help him up, his reassuring smile an act of sympathy to Meowth's overwhelming loss. The cat just stared.

 

Pikachu's smile faltered when Meowth smacked his hand away.

 

Meowth got to his feet, ignoring Pikachu's annoying look of worry. He wiped the dirt off his front as he walked, each step he took audibly sopping.

 

“Hey Meowth, where you going?” Ash called out after him. Without a word of response, the cat continued to walk past the group's spot and into the forest, neglecting those who called after him.

 

“Meowth, wait up!”

 

He didn't get very far before he felt Ash's irritating presence gracing his side. The twerp ran right after him, relaxing to a slower pace once he caught up. “Hey, that was a good battle.”

 

Maybe if Meowth just ignored him long enough, the twerp would take the hint and go away.

 

“That last move you did—wasn't that Night Slash?” Ash asked. “When'd you learn that?”

 

The twerp patiently waited for a response. Again, he got none. Meowth's heart pounded in his ears, distorting Ash's words and beating violently against his chest.

 

“I think that's really cool that you're trying to learn it. You know, I could help you practice it if you want. I'd love to help out. Then you'll get it down in no time!”

 

Ash sighed once again when Meowth gave him the silent treatment. The deeper and darker they delved into the forest's maw, the more Meowth's body tingled with anxiety.

 

“Hey, I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to make you mad,” he said, his chipper tone noticeably subdued.

 

“I ain't mad,” Meowth shrugged. “All you did was get me all wet.”

 

“Oh—sorry about that. I just figured water would be less painful than shocks or burns. Forgot you didn't like getting wet...”

 

An icy wind blew through the forest, shaking the trees' many leaves and sending a shiver down Meowth's spine. He tried to suppress it by clutching at his arms, hugging himself to keep in as much heat as he could muster. Ash took an instant notice to his flyaway hairs sticking up on end.

 

“Here.” The twerp hastily unzipped his vest, handing the article of clothing down to the dripping cat. His offering was met with a leer. “Take it; it's thick, and warm. You'll be dry in no time!”

 

Hesitantly, Meowth took the jacket from him. He wrapped it around himself, the thick cotton immediately absorbing some of the excess water soaking his fur. A sigh escaped him, the warmth his new covering supplied him with easing him into an almost pleasant contentment. Almost.

 

Something hidden away in the trees disturbed the plantlife with a rustle, making him jump. Meowth gritted his teeth; at this point, his legs were so filled with coils he might as well have been a spring.

 

“You okay?” Ash asked. “You look pale.”

 

“I'm fine,” Meowth grumbled.

 

“Are you sure? I mean, maybe the battle wasn't such a good idea—”

 

“I said I'm _fine._ ”

 

All Meowth wanted Ash to do was leave. Just leave, and stop asking so many questions. Yes, the battle had been a stupid idea. Yes, Meowth was a fool for agreeing to it. Yes, he was paying dearly for his mistake. But he didn't need this hounding. He didn't need this overwhelming anxiety pulsing through his veins, crawling on his skin like a joltik eager to take a sweet, succulent bite.

 

He didn't need any of this. All he wanted was to be alone.

 

They continued to walk the path through the forest, in silence for a good few minutes. Though, when Ash couldn't take it anymore, he sighed.

 

“You know, it's weird not having Jessie and James on my tail anymore,” He began. Folding his arms behind his head, he kept his eyes on the onward path. “I keep expecting them to show up and try to take Pikachu away. But then... they never come. In a weird way, I kinda _miss_ having them around...”

 

Meowth took a random turn through a different opening of trees, with Ash unfortunately trailing right by his side.

 

“I can't even imagine what that's gotta be like for you. I know you guys were close—”

 

“Wouldja stop talkin' about it, already?” Meowth interrupted him. “It's fine. I'm over it.”

 

“Meowth, I know it's hard to talk about these things, but you know? Sometimes it's good to let it all out.”

 

“There ain't nothin' to talk about. They're dead, and there ain't nothin' I can do about it. That's all there is to it.”

 

“You know,” Ash continued, “keeping everything bottled up like that's not good. You're acting like you don't even care anymore.”

 

“'Cause I don't.”

 

The trainer slowed in his pace, clearly taken aback by Meowth's recent apathy. It hurt him to see the cat ignoring his own feelings, to see him act like everything lay dormant in the past and no longer mattered. Meowth was clearly in pain, more so than he let on, and yet, found it easier just to bury his feeling deep where no one could find them.

 

The difference between other pokemon Ash had come across and Meowth was staggering. So many creatures, big and small, powerful and weak, he had seen suffering. Except they didn't have the means to tell him what was wrong. And now the one that did had secluded himself from the rest of the world, taking solace in his isolation, refusing to let anyone pull him out.

 

“Of course you do,” Ash insisted. “I know how much they meant to you. They were your family. They cared as much about you as you did about them. I mean... I'd be devastated, too, if the same thing ever happened to...”

 

They both knew how that sentence ended. Meowth was just happy that Ash was too much of a coward to conclude it.

 

The path found its end, obstructed by a raging river. Having no bridge in plain sight to cross, Meowth slumped to the ground, wrapped like a cocoon in Ash's jacket. The trainer took a seat beside him, joining him in watching the rapids rage by.

 

“Acting like it doesn't matter isn't gonna help, Meowth...” Ash lamented. “It's just gonna make you feel like crap. You know, my mom always said that it's better to focus on the all the good times you had with someone when they were there, rather than the fact that they're gone now. And man, did you guys have some good times.

 

“Remember that one time when we all got invited to star in that one director's pokemon movie, back in Kanto? You guys were trying so hard to be the stars of the show. And then _Psyduck_ , of all pokemon, got picked for the part.” Ash took a moment to laugh. “A-and that time when you guys upstaged Brittany and the Loony Balloons way back in Johto—everyone got so mad at you for that, but I honestly kinda thought your song was pretty catchy. And it looked like you three were having the time of your lives out there on stage.”

 

Meowth remembered. Clear as day, each and every time they had together, he remembered. Each memory played in his head like scenes from a movie, slowly replacing the gory snapshots that had endlessly flashed in his mind since the battle. Nothing could take those good times away from him, he knew. But it didn't matter much now, now did it?

 

Those times had passed. They, like his friends, were never coming back.

 

“And man... I'll never forget all those times you've helped me out,” Ash sighed, casting his gaze to his feet. He took to tracing lines in the loose dirt by his side. “And always when I least expected it, too. I mean, you were there for me when my friends couldn't help me. You've followed me into the worst situations without a second thought. You've cheered for me, you've... you've saved my life... so many times. In a way, you three were my bestest friends... If it weren't for you, I... I don't think I would have made it this far...”

 

Meowth sat in stunned silence when he heard small sobs escape the boy. The cat turned, almost wide-eyed, surprised to see Ash with his cap drawn over his face, wiping away tears with his gloved hands. And yet the trainer still managed a smile.

 

“I guess I never got to thank you for all that you guys did for me...” he murmured. Choking down a sob, Ash reached into his pocket, fishing something out. Once he found what he was looking for, he handed it over to Meowth.

 

It was the gingersnap cookie bag from the store. The exact same one he held; he could recognize the bent corner, his own lingering scent. Meowth's paws trembled as he held it; he looked up at Ash with confusion.

 

“You looked like you wanted it. Figured it was the least I can do,” Ash informed.

 

Meowth stared at the bag for long, quiet minutes, reveling at the contents and memories he held in his paws. His wet fur dampened the paper the longer he held it, but he couldn't bring himself to put it down. He held it close, embracing it as if it were his long lost pals.

 

“I know we're not the best of friends... But I wanna return the favor, Meowth,” Ash declared. “I wanna help you get through this. Whatever you need, I'll be there.”

 

Meowth grimaced. He lowered his chin to rest atop the bag, staring emptily at the river's rugged, broken currents. “That's nice and all,” he sighed, “but there's nothin' you can do.”

 

“Don't say that. I know that losing your best friends makes you feel really hopeless. But in a way, they're not really gone.” Meowth looked up to the young trainer like he had just suggested that swinub could learn Fly. “Long as you keep them in your memories, it's like they're always there with you. And sometimes if you remember well enough, you can feel their presence with you. Isn't that neat?”

 

Meowth thought back. All the heists, all the adventures. The shenanigans and arguments and misunderstandings. He remembered them all vividly.

 

He felt nothing.

 

* * *

 

He must have fallen asleep. The next thing he knew, he was back at the campsite, the night sky flooding the world in darkness. Ash's vest no longer enveloped him, instead having been replaced with a warm, thick blanket. He still clutched the unopened cookie bag against his fur that had long since dried.

 

Meowth sat up with a big yawn. He rubbed the sleep from his eyes, taking a quick look around. The twerps were cleaning up from dinner, chatting quietly amongst themselves. Upon further speculation, he noticed that they had left a tray of food for him, kept in a crock to keep the heat from escaping. A peek inside revealed tonight's meal to be nikujaka stew, the pungent smell caressing his senses with a pleasant aroma. He decided he would eat it later.

 

Most of the twerps' pokemon had returned to their pokeballs for the night, but some still played together by their trainers. Piplup and Pikachu seemed to be having a blast playing around with Happiny, while Croagunk and Grotle quietly watched the dying sunset. None of them seemed to notice Meowth's awakening.

 

Another yawn and stretch. Meowth snuggled back lazily into his pillow, idly staring into the sky. The sun steadily plunged into the trees on the horizon, painting their leaves in vermilion and chartreuse. The fading light gave way to the stars, each one twinkling vividly against the black.

 

But one was missing.

 

Hundreds, thousands, millions of stars dotted the sky, all except for the one he was looking for. Meowth searched, turning to look at the stars behind him once he couldn't find it in his plane of view. But the big star was nowhere to be found. Nowhere ahead of him, nowhere behind him, nothing in any direction he looked. Meowth could feel his heart pounding against his chest, his windpipe growing tight.

 

“Where is it...” he breathed out. “W-where _is it?_ ”

 

He began to panic. The quiet murmurs of the twerps seemed to amplify, morphing into indistinguishable words that all fused together, blocking out anything else he heard. Springing up to his feet, Meowth darted his eyes in all directions, desperate to find that bright warm glow. The one that had comforted him on so many restless nights, that was there for him when everyone else was gone. But the star had, as well, seemed to disappear.

 

“Where _is it?!_ ” His shrill cry caught the attention of the others. It didn't take them long to realize something was dreadfully wrong, and even less time to rush to his side.

 

“Meowth, what's going on?” Ash asked, carefully reaching out a hand to try and comfort the cat. At the sudden contact, Meowth recoiled harshly, accidentally bumping into the crock of stew and spilling its contents. He noticed nothing but the sheering clang of metal against metal.

 

“ _Where is it?!”_ He screamed again. The three figures of the twerps looked amongst each other, confused by his inquiry. Their faces were nothing but a blur against the darkened night, nothing but silhouettes blocking his view of the sky.

 

“W-where's what? I-I don't understand,” Ash replied.

 

Meowth found himself gasping, struggling to take in air. Everyone was way too close, crowding him, confining him. He frantically shifted his gaze from the blurs that were the twerps, to up above, where his beloved star no longer awaited him.

 

Ash followed his line of sight, looking back with even more confusion than before. “The stars...?” He guessed.

 

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no....” The cat murmured over and over again, ignoring the trainer's question. He swung his head back and forth, his gaze vacant and desperate.

 

Dawn peered over to where he had looked, then back to Meowth. “Well, all the stars are up there,” she told him. She checked behind her again, simply to make sure she believed her own claim. “D-don't you see 'em?”

 

“It's gone...” Meowth clenched his teeth, tears pouring freely from his eyes. “It's _gone_! It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's _GONE!!_ ”

 

Ash's heart sank to the pit of his stomach. “I don't understand... Meowth, tell me what's wrong, _please..._ ”

 

Dawn looked over to the others, puzzled, then gazed back to the dotted sky. She stared for a moment, her eyes landing on an empty void in the midst of the stars. “Guys...” she started in a quiet voice. “You don't think he's talking about that one big star that went out earlier...?” The others seemed to acknowledge the idea, looking to where the star's light once was, and where it no longer shone.

 

Gone, gone, gone. The star was _gone_. The last shred of hope Meowth had left in the world had vanquished. Snuffed out of existence. He fell into a fit of wails while the others silently watched, unable to help.

 

“Guys, give him some room,” Brock commanded the others. Ash and Dawn quickly scooted back, but refused to leave the scene. Brock inched closer to the cat, slowly, as to not upset him more. “Meowth—Meowth, listen to me.”

 

“It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone...” Meowth hung his head low, his sobs subdued, but still unending.

 

“Listen to me, Meowth... Focus on my voice. Look at me.” Brock spoke in the calmest tone he could manage, despite his overwhelming worry. He trembled with fear, barely keeping his words together. “Look at me,” he repeated.

 

Ash watched, wringing his hat tightly in his hands. Pikachu crept up to his shoulder, looking upon the scene with watery eyes. With the presence of his best friend, the trainer felt the need to help in any way he could, if just to help ease the tenseness. Except he didn't know what he _could_ do. “Meowth, it's gonna be okay,” he tried to reassure. He hated feeling so useless.

 

“Yeah,” Dawn joined in, a surprising amount of sympathy in her voice. “I mean, technically that star died a long time ago, and we're just now seeing it disappear. Another star will take its place. You just need to give it time, that's all.”

 

Meowth sobbed even harder, collapsing to all fours, digging his claws deep into the dirt. He shook his head, over and over and over again, his body racking with every tremble.

 

It was gone. It was gone, it was gone, it was completely, utterly, gone, and it was never coming back.

 

“Meowth, look at me,” Brock repeated. “Look at me, don't focus on anything but me.”

 

The cat slowly rose his head, but couldn't meet the breeder's gaze.

 

“Just breathe, okay? Breathe. _Breathe_. In, out. In, out.” Brock demonstrated with his own respiration. Meowth eventually joined in, his inhales nothing but sharp gasps. “In... Out...”

 

“It's gone, it's gone, it's gone, it's gone....” The breeder caught a glimpse of Meowth's glassy eyes: he saw nothing in them but pure anguish.

 

“It's gonna be okay, Meowth. Just breathe...” Brock repeated. Meowth's crying grew quieter, the more time passed, until there was nothing but the tears falling from his face and his voice reiterating what bothered him so.

 

“It's gone... it's gone, it's gone.... It's gone, they're gone, they're gone, they're gone....”

 

The twerps could do nothing but watch in horror as the cat reclined into his body, shivering, grief-stricken, his repeating words and silent sobs filling the cold, empty night.

 


	5. The Photo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooooooooo boy. Now we're entering the Nervous Zone.
> 
> If you were wondering when that 'graphic depictions of violence' thing was going to come into play, this is the part. it's a pretty small section and easy to spot, so feel free to exercise any precautions you believe are necessary. I personally don't think it's tooooooooo bad, but I enjoy blood and gore stuff, so something that may not be too bad for me might be worse for someone else. Better to be safe than sorry, I suppose
> 
> Recommended rewatchings come in the form of:  
> Shield With a Twist (DP102), if you haven't already revisited it  
> and Go West Young Meowth (EP070), specifically the last five or so minutes. But hell--watch the entire episode because it's amazing and you should be rewatching it anyways
> 
> There are very small mentions of:  
> Princess Vs. Princess (EP052)  
> Pokemon 2000 (the 2nd Movie)  
> Beauty and the Breeder (EP169)  
> The Big Balloon Blow-Up (EP202)  
> Off the Unbeaten Path (AG159)  
> and Battling the Generation Gap (DP095)  
> But they're really small, and you don't need them to understand anything really
> 
> Also, bear with me: the first section of this chapter is a gym battle. So yeah.
> 
> Hoo boy. Let's go.

Hearthome City bustled with activity, every resident with a designated place to be. The streets were wide, however, allowing for comfortable travel through the town. The group moved slowly towards the gym, almost silently, save for a bit of small talk. Ash, normally the one taking the lead far ahead of the others, toned his pace down to walk among his friends, but mostly to keep an anxious eye on Meowth, who trudged silently behind.

 

The cat had refused to speak to anyone about what had transpired the other night. And thankfully, the twerps seemed to realize that all he wanted to do was forget that it ever happened. He noticed their worried glances, though; their quiet speculations and careful word choices, too. It made him sick.

 

They made it to the gym in comfortable time. The large building loomed ominously, the Drifblim decor making for a sinister touch. But Ash seemed familiar with the building's presence, and wasted no time pushing his way through the double doors. Meowth hesitated before entering, uneasy about stepping foot into such an establishment.

 

“I shouldn't be here,” he mumbled, the first words he had uttered all day.

 

Brock turned to him upon noticing his malaise. “It'll be fine, Meowth. We'll be outta here before you know it.”

 

Meowth frowned, but eventually complied.

 

“Fantina, I'm here for a rematch!” Ash called out to the gargantuan room. No one but a single referee stood present, able to hear the trainer's declaration.

 

“Ah, young Ash!” He greeted. “Madame Fantina's been expecting your arrival. She will be with us in just a moment.”

 

“Good luck, Ash,” Dawn said. Brock nodded in agreement.

 

“Thanks!” Ash smiled, then suddenly pulled the two back to whisper in their ears. “Hey, um... could you guys keep an eye on him?” He eyed Meowth, whose empty eyes glared right back. “I'm really worried.”

 

“Me too,” Brock agreed.

 

They both nodded, glancing back at the silent pokemon standing just meters away. Meowth frowned, already guessing what they had said.

 

Dawn and Brock rejoined him, then the three made their way to the stands. They picked a bleacher that was close to the match, but not too close, as to avoid getting hit by any stray moves. Meowth sat in silence a comfortable distance away from them, wringing his paws together as his eyes darted around the room. He could feel the two twerps sneaking glances at him.

 

He didn't belong here.

 

The referee put his finger to his earpiece, nodding to some unknown figure on the other line. He cleared his throat. “And now,” he began with his most booming, theatrical voice. “It is my great pleasure to introduce the Hearthome gym's mesmerizing leader, Madame Fantina!”

 

The doors opposite the entrance burst open, revealing the beautiful coordinator/gym leader. Her dress glimmered in the sparkling light, making the woman's radiance shine like diamonds. Fantina seemed to dance to her position on the battlefield, her skirt flowing gracefully with her every sweeping movement.

 

Jessie had tried to imitate her once. Meowth remembered the long hours she had put in rehearsing those elegant movements, the difficult training she put her Yanmega through. The dragonfly hadn't seemed to mind, though. She would have done anything to please her trainer, and seemed to enjoy being in the spotlight just as much as Jessie, too. The performance had ended terribly—painfully so, as Meowth recalled—but he knew she had had a lot of fun doing it.

 

Meowth sighed, suddenly regretting his passivity of Jessie's goals. For the longest time, he thought her dreams of becoming Top Coordinator silly, that there was no way she could prevail as champion, as her fiasco in Hoenn had proved. The cat avoided her side like the plague, determined not to be dragged into her shenanigans that would undoubtedly result in his ultimate humiliation.

 

But Jessie had gotten so much better since Hoenn. And she had so much fun with her performances, too. Meowth hadn't seen her so passionate about a project in such a long time. It made James and himself so happy to see her happy, if only because her being happy meant that their necks were saved. Jessie's pride had filled him with a pride of his own, the pride that his friend, his teammate, was accomplishing something previously unthought of. Meowth just hated that he didn't help out more.

 

“ _Bonjour encore_ , Ash, _bienvenue dans la salle de Hearthome Gym!_ ” Fantina greeted, her Kalosian accent thick and beautiful on her lips. “Are you ready to begin again?”

 

“Of course, Fantina,” Ash called back, a determined air about him. “I've been waiting a long time for this. Today, I'm gonna earn my Relic Badge!”

 

“But of course. I like your spirit, Ash.” Fantina grinned. “But I am not one to give up the Relic Badge so easily!”

 

“Didn't expect you to!”

 

The referee cleared his throat again, signaling the official beginning of the match. “The Hearthome Gym rematch between Ash and Fantina will now begin!” he announced. “Each trainer will use a total of three pokemon, and when all three of one trainer's pokemon have been eliminated, the battle is over. Only the challenger is allowed to substitute pokemon.”

 

Ash grabbed his first pokeball off his belt, ready to release the creature inside at a moment's notice. Fantina pulled out her own, tossing it high up in the air to free what laid inside.

 

“ _C'est l'heure_ , Gengar! Battle position!”

 

The shadow pokemon appeared from thin air, levitating high above the battlefield. Her wicked grin gave chills, but Ash seemed unaffected by Gengar's frightening appearance.

 

“Starting with Gengar, huh?” he acknowledged. “Well then, get ready! Buizel, come on out!”

 

The weasel popped out of his pokeball, taking his battle stance with eagerness.

 

“Go Buizel!” Dawn cheered from the bleachers. “You can do it!”

 

“Show them how much work you've put into your special training!” Brock joined in.

 

Buizel nodded, chatting out his adrenaline and determination. Meowth just watched, wordlessly, wringing his palms together, both damp in a cold sweat. He didn't belong here.

 

“Ooh, I love the sound of special training,” Fantina said. “So let's not waste anymore time chatting, and get on with the show!”

 

“The challenger has the first move,” the referee declared. “You may now begin!”

 

Ash tossed his arm forward, pointing directly to the battlefield. “Alright! Buizel, Aqua Jet, go!”

 

Buizel sprung into action, his water spiral surrounding him in an instant. He propelled himself off the ground, but Gengar easily dodged. The shadow pokemon floated, weightless, above the field whilst Buizel landed back on the ground.

 

“Sonic Boom, keep it up!”

 

Upon the command, Buizel unleashed a sheering slice of wind. But Gengar effortlessly glided past it, having no trouble at all dodging his assault. The missed attack crashed into the wall above, coming dangerously close to shattering the stained glass windows. Meowth cringed, his skin growing tight with goosebumps.

 

“'Special training,' was it, you said? At this rate, you will never land a hit,” Fantina quipped. Gengar danced tauntingly above Buizel, almost mirroring her trainer's elegant moves. “It is showtime, Gengar! Dazzle them with your shadow punch!”

 

The ghost flew too quickly, surrounding Buizel in a flurry of movements. Buizel did his best to keep up, but quickly became overwhelmed. The colliding ghost punch sent him flying, crashing onto the hard ground below with an audible thud.

 

Meowth flinched.

 

“Buizel, you okay?” Ash asked. The weasel got back onto his feet, then flashed a paw at his trainer, signaling his ability to keep going.

 

“And now, hypnosis!”

 

Fantina left no room for recovery. In moments, Gengar readied up her next attack, her paws glowing red with vehement energy. Ash took a moment to breathe.

 

“It's time.” He tipped his hat back. “Now Buizel, spin and use Water Gun!”

 

Gengar stopped in her tracks when Buizel fell to his back, using his wet fur to easily spin against the ground. The resulting water gun sprayed everywhere, leaving no room for escape. Try as she might, Gengar couldn't maneuver around without getting hit, even with her amazing levitating abilities.

 

“ _Mon dieu,_ ” Fantina muttered under her breath, enamored by the spectacle. “Gengar, you must get away from there quickly!”

 

The ghost had no control over her movements as she bounced from one water stream directly into the next with no relief. Over and over and over again, she collided with the high powered streams of water, each one seeming to damage her more. The currents finally released her once they stopped flowing, the sudden loss of force dropping her to the ground. Once the dust cleared, everyone could visibly see that the entourage of attacks had taken their toll on Gengar.

 

“Gengar is unable to battle. Buizel wins!”

 

“Nooooooo!!” Fantina cried in a comical fashion.

 

“It worked!” Dawn cheered. Piplup clapped his wings, chirping his support for his fellow water pokemon from atop his trainer's lap. “They pulled it off!!”

 

The gym leader reluctantly pulled out Gengar's pokeball, returning her to her home. Fantina turned back to Ash, a grin lighting up her face. “ _Vraiment fantastique_ , Ash! I am impressed!” she admitted. “You managed to cancel out Gengar's movements, all the while, dealing damage. Such creativity!”

 

“I thought so,” Ash replied proudly. “We trained hard to get that move just right. That way, we can attack by defending ourselves!”

 

“Mmm.” Fantina's smirk played on her lips, her eyes aglow with stars. “Quite an intriguing counter shield you have come up with, if I may say so.”

 

“'Counter shield?' I like the sound of that!”

 

Meowth remembered Ash and Buizel training with that exact move before their own battle, suddenly finding himself thankful that the trainer hadn't decided to use it on him. Such a suffocating, claustrophobic fate would have struck a devastating blow to the cat. He swallowed hard and shuddered just thinking about it, his mind unwillingly flashing back to how trapped he and Jessie and James were when the Ursaring had them all surrounded.

 

Noticing his sudden tenseness, Brock looked over. “Hey, you okay?” he whispered.

 

Meowth managed a stiff nod. “Yeah. I'm fine.”

 

Buizel returned to his pokeball when Ash called him back, the trainer murmuring his thanks. Fantina pulled out her next pick. “Are you ready to continue, _mon amie_?”

 

“Of course—the battle's just starting!” Ash replied.

 

“Well then, feast your eyes on your next challenger, the valiant and dazzling star, Mismagius!”

 

The magical pokemon burst from the pokeball in a million sparkles. Ash pulled out his own pokeball in response.

 

“Alright Chimchar, I choose you!”

 

The monkey's appearance caught Meowth's attention. Chimchar grinned and whooped, clearly excited to battle. He caught sight of Meowth in the stands, and waved to him. The cat frowned at his over-enthusiasm, but raised his paw up in response.

 

Chimchar hadn't witnessed his emotional breakdown like everyone else, Meowth realized. The kid had no clue that the cat had fallen victim to a state so desperate, so degrading; he probably believed that Meowth was still in his apathetic rut. Perhaps it was better that way.

 

“Chimchar, Flame Wheel!”

 

Meowth was so caught up in his thoughts he barely even noticed the second round's start. Chimchar spun his flame around himself, jumping quickly ahead. The Flame Wheel moved outlandishly fast; if he hadn't seen it so many times before, Meowth would have been shocked. Though, Mismagius seemed to be taken aback by his speed. As Chimchar approached, the ghost barely had enough time to dodge, her cloak-like tendrils tasting the heat.

 

“My my, what amazing agility,” Fantina hummed. Chimchar's fiery wheel jumped into the air, ready to knock Mismagius out of it. “Mismagius, Psywave, _s_ _'il vous plaît_!”

 

Before Chimchar could make contact, the ghost pushed him back with her strong psychic attack. He crashed hard into the ground, his powerful Flame Wheel in shambles.

 

“Ough, that looked like it did some damage,” Brock commented. The remark caused Meowth peered over for just a moment, long enough for the breeder to notice his worry. “Err, but he'll be fine. Chimchar's been through a lot worse than that.”

 

_'You don't gotta tell me.'_ It pained him to see the monkey hurt. Physically or emotionally, Meowth just didn't care to see Chimchar in any sort of discomfort. He felt a little more alleviated when he saw Chimchar get back up to his feet, signaling to Ash that he was ready to keep on going. Meowth managed a small smirk. _'Keep goin', kid.'_

 

“Alright Chimchar, spin and use Flamethower!”

 

The monkey did as he was told, and mimicked Buizel's moves from before. A long stream of fire exulted from his lungs, twirling and weaving an entrapping web around the battlefield. Mismagius was caught in seconds, soon in the same predicament as Gengar before her.

 

“A fire counter-shield as well? _Magnifique_!” Fantina retorted. “Mismagius, counter with Psywave!”

 

Mismagius emitted her powerful waves, breaking through some of the beams of fire. But she quickly became overwhelmed once again, knocked to the ground with force. Dawn and Brock cheered, Meowth even managing a small glimmer of pride in his eyes.

 

“Oh dear,” Fantina gasped. “Well then, let's see how you deal with this: Magical Leaf!”

 

The ghost surrounded herself with glowing leaves, sending them straight to their fiery doom into Chimchar's flamethrower. But the attack canceled out the monkey's move, causing him to retreat.

 

His opponents had broken through their counter-shield, rendering it useless. Chimchar grimaced at the turn of events, Ash mirroring him. “Darn it... They found a way through...” the trainer muttered to himself. “Alright then, Chimchar, use Flame Wheel again!”

 

“Dark Pulse, _tout suite!_ ”

 

As Mismagius shot out a dark beam of aura, Chimchar formed his Flame Wheel, heading right for her. The ghost's blast missed the monkey's quick maneuvering, but Chimchar refrained from attacking just yet.

 

“Use Flamethrower, now!”

 

Meowth gaped, and so did Fantina. While still in the comfort and protection of his Flame Wheel, Chimchar spat out a stream of fire, the flames spinning as he did. “Psywave, Mismagius, quickly!”

 

The attack rid the flames surrounding the wheel, but the wheel itself stayed intact. The collision between the attacks filled the area with a dense smoke, creating the perfect cover for a surprise assault. Chimchar took advantage of it, emerging from the haze and crashing straight into Mismagius, sending her back to the ground.

 

“Mismagius is unable to battle; Chimchar wins!”

 

“You did it, Chimchar!” Ash cheered. The monkey bounded into Ash's embracing arms, pure joy in his eyes. Meowth let out the breath he didn't realize he was holding, lips half-quirked as he gazed down at him. Chimchar waved again; Meowth returned the gesture.

 

“Wow, Chimchar did so good!” Dawn noted.

 

“Yeah! Intercepting that Dark Pulse with Flamethrower was a great plan,” Brock added.

 

“Just look at him.” Dawn grabbed hold of Piplup's flipper, brushing her thumb against the silky feathers. Piplup relished in the touch. She smiled. “He's so happy now.”

 

“I know. Everything seemed so rocky at first. But now it's... everything's okay.”

 

The kid was alright. He had grown so much over the past few months, overcome so many obstacles. So much pain and suffering he went through, trapped in his own thoughts and memories, his overwhelming desire to see the one who wronged him watch him succeed. And he was only going to get better from here.

 

Meowth sighed. He knew Jessie and James would be proud to see this, as proud as him. He only wished they could.

 

“Well done, Ash! I must say, I am _très impressionné_ ,” Fantina admitted. “Such improvement. But surely you know the one opponent who remains.”

 

“I sure do.” Ash returned Chimchar to his ball. “Alright, Pikachu—it's all up to you, now!”

 

Something struck a chord in Meowth's insides. Suddenly, he felt sick, antsy, paranoid all over again, the feeling in the pit of his stomach like a black hole consuming him. He watched Pikachu take his position on the battlefield, readying up that oh-so powerful electricity Meowth felt so, so often. His skin stung with it, pins and needles pricking all around him. He dug his nails into the bleacher.

 

_'What's wrong wit' you? You ain't even facin' him or nothin'.'_

 

He didn't even notice Fantina's Drifblim on the opposite end of the field. Fantina and Ash exchanged some words, either competitive banter or more compliments, but Meowth didn't register any of it. He just kept his eyes glued to the yellow rat. Pikachu overlooked the battlefield, blissfully unaware of his watcher, of the anxiety he was indirectly causing. His chirping mumbles were like shards of glass in Meowth's ears.

 

_'Would you cool it already? You're getting' nervous over nothin'.'_

 

He gulped. His mind was on autopilot, forcing the air in and out of his lungs in a meticulous rhythm.

 

_'This ain't right. I shouldn't be here.'_

 

Pikachu made the first move. The mouse jumped into the air, twirling like Chimchar and Buizel had done before, shooting off electricity in every direction. Meowth instinctively ducked, his fur frizzing with the energy surging through the air. Drifblim appeared paralyzed, caught in a ring of static electricity. And yet she didn't struggle.

 

His heart pounded. Even when he squeezed his eyes shut, Meowth could still hear, still see, still _feel_ the impacts. The raw power, the billowing bolts of lightning, Jessie and James's bruised and bloodied faces as they collapsed to the ground in heaps of flesh. They weren't here. They weren't here by his side to back him up, to comfort him and reassure him that everything was going to turn out just fine.

 

Another Thunderbolt illuminated the building. Even with his lids down, he could still see it.

 

_'I shouldn't_ _**be here.'** _

 

Meowth screwed his eyes shut harder and harder, searching for his friends' faces without the blood splattered on them, searching to see the life still shining in their cold, empty orbs. He tried and tried to remember them as they once were, before the attack. Before Sinnoh. Before Pikachu. He tried to feel their presence among him.

 

He felt _nothing_.

 

Pikachu fought Drifblim head on, colliding with the blimp pokemon with a powerful Volt Tackle. Meowth winced at the impact and clutched at his chest as if he was the one who had been hit. When he pulled his paws away, they dripped with blood from the searing cuts on his chest. He choked, feeling the deepness of his wounds, hearing the sound his charm made when a Hammer Arm snapped it clean in half.

 

As he lay on the muddy ground, he watched in horror as his adversary stood over him, stories tall, ready to deal a final blow. Jessie pulled him out of the way before the ursaring's blood-dripping mouth could eviscerate him with a Hyperbeam. Two more turned to where they were, millions of glowing yellow eyes piercing the darkness.

 

James jumped in front of them, fighting them off with his own bare hands. Meowth had assumed James's rib-shattering collision with the tree had put him down for the count, but yet he managed to keep on his feet. One of the ursaring sank his teeth into James's hand; Meowth thought for sure he would swallow it whole. But he pulled away, the skin no longer covering his bones.

 

Hyperbeam after Hyperbeam. Jessie's bruises were so dark her entire midriff had been colored purple. A sickening crack when she slammed into a tree, and Meowth knew the bone in her arm had shattered.

 

Another shriek of agony; an ursaring's claws tore streaks across James's face. The man couldn't open his eyes through the unbelievable amounts of pain.

 

Just when he thought he was in the clear, a mouthful of teeth clamped down onto Meowth's tail, suspending him high above the ground. Tears pours from his eyes as he kicked and clawed, his attacks only hurting himself more.

 

He was going to die. They all were.

 

And suddenly, he was back in reality again. His fur was drenched in sweat, his entire body trembling. Though he could feel the faint, lingering pains of his lacerations, no blood seeped through.

 

The world came back into focus. Drifblim and Pikachu still fought valiantly below, tuned out to the rest of the arena. Meowth looked to his right, to where his companions sat. Brock stared silently at him, retracting his hand from Meowth's back, almost afraid to speak. Dawn peered over his shoulder, Piplup mimicking her actions.

 

“Meowth, are you okay?” The breeder finally forced out. His words were cloudy and difficult to distinguish.

 

Meowth had no idea as to how much they had seen. Clearly something in his actions had caught their attention. He felt the blood rush from his face. A wave of dizziness threatened to overtake him. He pushed past it. Then pushed his way past the others and off the bleachers.

 

“Meowth, wait!” Brock called after him. The cat didn't stop.

 

The battle halted, Ash turning to watch Meowth storm his way back through the Hearthome Gym doors. “Meowth? Meowth, what's wrong? Where you going?!”

 

The double doors shut behind him. Though his limbs shook, Meowth walked as far away from the gym as he could get. He didn't make it very far before he noticed the twerps following close behind, but he didn't stop moving.

 

“Meowth!” Ash called. He ran to keep up, Pikachu following close. The cat quickened his pace. “Meowth, talk to me, please...”

 

“Leave me alone,” Meowth managed to mutter out.

 

“Did something happen? You know, it'll help if you talk about it.” The trainer insisted on following him.

 

“Did something in there cause you to have a flashback or something?” Brock asked.

 

“Leave me _alone._ ” No matter what pace Meowth set, the twerps refused to slow down. They continued to hound him, invading his space, their voices grating on his ears.

 

“ _Flashback? Wha—really?”_ Pikachu questioned.

 

“ _Yeah, he zoned out for like five whole minutes!”_ Piplup supplied. “ _It was really creepy.”_

 

“Well, what's wrong? What did you see?” Dawn asked. “Aren't you gonna talk about it?”

 

“ _Are you okay? You should talk to us, we can help—_ ”

 

Meowth stopped in his tracks, turning on his heel, stopping Pikachu's suggestion. “Would youse guys just _quit it, already?!_ I don't _want_ your help. You can't _help_ me. You think you're helpin', but all you're doin' is makin' things _worse_. You stupid kids don't know when to quit. So just _stop_ already.” He balled his paws into fists. “Just fuck off and go back to your _stupid_ gym battle.”

 

They halted in a collective unit. Dawn gasped at the sudden language thrown their way, but Brock put his hand on her shoulder to keep her from doing anything rash. Ash looked downright hurt. Pikachu... Pikachu looked pissed.

 

The rat let out a frustrated breath before questioning, “ _Meowth, what is you're_ _ **problem?!**_ ”

 

“ _YOU'RE_ my problem!!” the cat shouted right back. “Every time I see your stupid mug, I just see my friends' bloody faces. Anytime I'm anywhere near you, I just see them gettin' killed—over and over and _over_ again. It just reminds me of how much time we _wasted_ tryin' to capture a worthless yellow _rat_. An-and I just keep thinkin', w-what woulda happened if we never followed you? Jessie and James might still be alive... But no; they died chasin' a stupid, worthless dream.”

Pikachu opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't seem to find any words. His face fell. Tears welled up in his eyes, and he cast his gaze to the ground, devastation overtaking his anger.

The others were stunned into silence as well, unsure of what they could possibly say to calm Meowth down. The air grew thick and heavy, each moment of silence bringing more and more tension. Ash took a step forward, hovering protectively over his best pokemon.

 

“Meowth, I don't care what your beef with _us_ is,” Ash growled out, unusually hostile. “But leave Pikachu out of this.”

 

“You think I care 'bout what you have ta say, Twerp?” Meowth hissed right back. He glared daggers at Pikachu. “That rat's been nothin' but a thorn in my side ever since you found me.”

 

“Pikachu was just trying to help you! He did nothing to hurt you! _You're_ the one who's been acting like a jerk!”

 

He had done it. He had finally gotten Ash to raise his voice. To finally grow sick of his shit and retaliate. His one ally throughout the entire week, the only one who had no trouble believing him, had finally turned against him.

 

Meowth leered. He didn't need Ash to 'support' him, nor his stupid Pikachu. All they did was mess things up. “He don't know what he's done to me. He got no _clue_ how much he's screwed me up.”

 

“Well that's _your_ fault.”

 

All eyes shifted to Dawn. She crossed her arms, glaring down the Rocket.

 

“ _What'd_ you say?” Meowth growled.

 

“What, didja not hear me?” Dawn bent her head down, getting that much closer to invading Meowth's personal space. “I said that's _your fault_.”

 

“Dawn, come on,” Brock interjected. “Think about what you're saying.”

 

“No! Ash is right! He's been an enormous prick the entire time he's been with us. And frankly, I'm sick of it!” She turned on her companions, balling her hands into fists. Piplup stood by her, going into the same defensive pose as his trainer. Clearly she wanted to fight; and he would be there to support her no matter what.

 

Dawn swung her arm down to point accusingly at Meowth. “You need to get it through your head that being a jerk to everyone isn't gonna fix anything. Jessie and James are still dead, whether you like it or not. An-and now you're blaming Pikachu for all the things _you're team's_ done? Pikachu had nothing to do with any of that! All that 'damage' you say he caused you? Wouldn't have happened if you hadn't tried to sell him off for a quick buck! _You_ were the ones that decided to chase him half way around the world. _You_ were the ones who threw your lives away for some stupid dream. Face it: you _got_ what was coming to you.”

 

And just like that, his world split with a deafening crack and shattered into a million pieces.

 

The cat took a step back. Then another. Then another. Pure, unkempt rage darkened his features, but broke away into an unbearable misery with each second that passed. Meowth's piercing eyes remained on the twerps, pooling with tears beyond a storm of emotion. He shook his head.

 

“This was a mistake,” he murmured. He spoke so quietly the twerps could barely hear him. “I never shoulda joined you twerps...”

 

“Meowth—” Brock tried to say.

 

“I shoulda just left when I had the chance...”

 

“Well then...” Ash said in a voice so calm, yet it had the fury of a thousand suns. “Maybe you should leave _now._ ”

 

Before anyone could stop him, Meowth broke out running. He could hear Brock calling out after him, but he didn't stop. He couldn't. He needed to get out, get as far away from the twerps as possible, never see their conniving little faces ever again.

 

The roads were painted with some familiarity, but not enough to know where he was truly going. But it didn't matter. As long as he got farther and farther away from those damn kids, he didn't care where he went. His breath ran out mid-sprint, his legs begging for him to stop. Tears threatened to pour as the twerps' words echoed endlessly through his mind. But he kept running. And he didn't look back.

 

Meowth didn't stop until he was sure the twerps were a mile away from him. When he finally deemed it safe enough to slow to a halt, he searched for the nearest crevice he could crawl into. Refuge took the form of an alleyway, empty, besides the murkrow toiling about, who scattered upon his arrival. A dumpster lay dormant in the midst of the dark hall, which he hastily crawled underneath.

 

His hiding place concealed him in darkness, rendering him invisible to the world. Nonexistent, even. It protected him from the outside, but did little to dissipate the overwhelming hurricane of unwanted emotions within.

 

Now he was truly alone. No one was around to help him or give him guidance or offer a few kind words. He had made short work of that.

 

How could he be so stupid? Sticking with the twerps, allowing them to get as close to him as they did—how could he fall into such arrays of foolishness? He was a fool, an absolute idiot. Meowth never believed that they could help him, not even for a moment, and yet he stayed.

 

Why did he _stay?_

 

So he could torment himself with an unwavering barrage of memories long passed? So he could remind himself that no matter what he did, no matter where he went, he was being watched with a suspicious eye, scrutinized to the point of conviction? So he could try and escape his solitude, stay with people he thought just might give a shit about him and all the things he'd been through...?

 

No. His friends were the only ones who ever really cared about him. And they were gone.

 

He began to sob.

 

“Jessie, James... come back... _please..._ ” he whimpered between snivels.

 

Meowth longed to hear Jessie's harsh, demanding, oddly inspiring voice. To feel her waking him and James up in the unmentionable hours of the morning just to get a head start on the day's work. He wanted to see her spend half the day fantasizing about the position of Top Coordinator and all the riches that came accompanied with the job, and the other half lounging lazily with her pokemon as she told James and him to keep working on a robot that was sure to fail whilst she barely lifted a finger.

 

She kept him motivated. She kept him steady. She kept him going on, even when he thought all hope was lost and their efforts were pointless. She showed him the joys of working towards a goal and having it accomplished, even when they failed so often.

 

“ _Please..._ I miss you guys so much...”

 

He wanted to see James trying on a new outfit for a disguise, modeling for him and Jessie in dresses that only he would ever be able to pull off. To see him sacrifice the last piece of food he had to his pokemon, even when he hung on the brink of starvation. He wanted to hear James speak in his soft, endearing voice, the voice of reason that glued the three together even at the worst of times.

 

He was always pessimistic, but seemed to keep going even when he believed that everything they were working towards would end in failure. His presence made the bad times bearable, as Meowth knew that no matter how bad things got, James would always stick around for his friends until the bitter end.

 

“ _I can't do this on my own... Please!”_

 

He missed Jessie's well-practiced evil laugh, James's overly-enthusiastic smile. The hours they would spend styling their hair for a disguise. Their unbelievable ability to rhyme and alliterate when they improvised the motto on the spot. The sparkle in their eyes. Their glamour. Their unbreakable bond. The way neither admitted just how much they cared about their teammates, and yet never had to.

 

“I'd give _anythin'_ to see youse two again...”

 

They weren't here. Not in person. Not in spirit. Not in memory. All of a sudden Meowth couldn't recall any of their experiences before the attack. No heists or missions. None of the high-stake escapades against legendary pokemon, nor the quiet times by the campfire spent huddling together for warmth. Everything seemed to blur together into an unintelligible mess, impossible to decipher.

 

Meowth clutched at his arms tightly, reclining to the smallest ball of fur he could pull himself into. Tears poured onto his pelt and onto the concrete on which he lay, an uncontrollable waterfall causing him to suffocate and drown.

 

Nothing would bring them back.

 

They were gone forever.

 

And he was all alone.

 

* * *

 

 

He didn't know how much time had passed. All he knew was that the sun's warm rays began to disappear, their absence shrouding the alleyway in complete darkness.

 

Meowth managed to stop his breakdown after a while. His feelings faded away into numbness, and all he could do was stare out from underneath the dumpster at the people passing by, praying that he never spotted the twerps.

 

And he didn't. They hadn't chased after him. They hadn't tried to find and recover him. And Meowth couldn't be more thankful.

 

Or at least he felt that way. Some nagging part inside of him felt disappointed that he hadn't spotted them searching for him.

 

Meowth sighed. The ground underneath him was uncomfortable, dusty; but nothing he wasn't familiar with. He must have gotten used to the warmth and comfort supplied by the twerps for him to have noticed how dreary his surroundings were. The air ran putrid from the garbage haphazardly dumped into the alley. With every breath he took, more dirt and dust particles scattered into the air. A shiver ran down his spine. It surprised him, this familiarity; he hadn't felt this cold and alone in the world since—

 

Footsteps caught his attention, too close to be just another passerby. Meowth pushed himself as far back underneath the dumpster as he could go, watching with dread as someone slunk into the alleyway, slumping against a wall. He couldn't see the guy's face with the angle he was at, but his clothes suggested a casual appearance. Sneakers and jeans, with a warm looking black hoodie: probably some lowly teenager.

 

The kid reached into his pocket and pulled something out. Meowth didn't catch what it was, but the sudden scent of smoke wafting through the air told him it was obviously a cigarette. The man inhaled slowly, then let the smoke billow out his nose, almost a sweet aroma encasing the alley. Meowth swore he knew that brand from somewhere.

 

The kid repeated again, then again. A few more times, and Meowth allowed himself to relax. Obviously the guy didn't know he was here. He had just stepped in here for a little quiet time to enjoy his smoke.

 

Or at least, Meowth thought that until the man started talking.

 

“You there?”

 

Meowth flinched in his spot. How did he see him? Did he know he had been there the entire time?

 

“Yeah, he's not here, either.”

 

Relief flooded over Meowth like a tidal wave. The man wasn't talking to him. Just to someone on the phone, or a headset, or an earpiece—Meowth couldn't tell with the angle he was at. The guy sounded young, somewhere in his early twenties.

 

Someone on the other end spoke. Meowth couldn't hear a word they said.

 

“Well, I came here 'cause I heard some guys talking about seeing him traveling with a bunch a' kids here.” The cat gulped. His fur stood on end. “I didn't see him.... Yes, I _know_ a talking meowth is hard to miss.”

 

His heart sank to the pit of his stomach.

 

“Well why don't _you_ try looking all over Sinnoh for him? There's a billion people and pokemon here!” The man hushed his tone, probably to not attract the attention of any passerbys. “Wait-wait—don't tell Giovanni just yet; I-I'll find him! I just need a little more time.”

 

Giovanni... He was... he was looking for him. He was trying to find him and take him back.

 

That couldn't possibly be good, Meowth thought. The boss wouldn't care enough to look for him just to have him back safe and sound. Would he? No, the only reason he would be looking for the cat was because Meowth had lost contact. Meowth hadn't reported back to headquarters. He hadn't even thought about doing such a thing since he joined up with the twerps.

 

He knew what happened to Jessie and James, and nobody else at Team Rocket did. They were off the radar permanently, but HQ still had his number. They could still track him down, take him back to the boss's office, demand why he abandoned his mission in Sinnoh, tie him to a cinder block, toss him into the lake, or worse—

 

Assign him to another team.

 

The thought had never occurred to him. But now that Meowth thought about it, he realized that that would be the worst possible outcome imaginable.

 

No one could replace Jessie and James, no matter how hard they tried. It wouldn't be the same. No one had the same spark, the same flare, the same passion or tenacity as his best friends. They had spent so much time together: from the good times to the bad, when lived in the spoils of success to when they were down to their last rice ball. Jessie and James had saved Meowth from so many dangers on so many occasions, more times than he could count. And though they didn't always get along, Meowth knew he wouldn't trade the two for the world.

 

A thought ran rabid through his head, one that he never thought he would ever consider: if Meowth couldn't work alongside Jessie and James any longer, then he couldn't work for Team Rocket at all.

 

Team Rocket couldn't replace his family. Meowth would rather die than see them try.

 

“Ju-just tell him I'm hot on the trail, and I'm getting close, okay?” the disguised Rocket said, his pace quick and anxious. “Or better yet, just don't say anything at all.... Alright; I'll call you again when I got some news for you. Pinkard out.” He rested his back against the brick wall, snuffing out his cigarette with his sneaker. “Shit...” The kid lingered in the alley for a few minutes. Then, when the coast was clear, he returned to the streets with nary a trace.

 

Meowth watched him go, his body trembling with anxiety. Where could he possibly go where the organization wouldn't find him? Now that they were hunting him down, he supposed nowhere was truly safe. Giovanni had an amazing track record of finding escaped members and bringing them to his so-called 'justice'. Meowth doubted he would fare any differently than anyone else.

 

They'd find him eventually. It was only a matter of time.

 

_'The twerps would protect you._ '

 

Meowth frowned at the idea a voice in the back of his head suggested. He couldn't go back there. Not in a million years.

 

_'No they wouldn't. Not after everything I said to 'em. All I did.'_

 

He couldn't go back. They'd turn him away as soon as he showed his face. After all the trouble he put them through, it was only fair that they would refuse to welcome him back with open arms.

 

Or maybe they would. And then Meowth would be in a bigger dilemma—waving the white flag. Surrendering to the support they offered, admitting they were right. He still had his pride, dwindled as it was. Allowing the twerps to know that he acknowledged that he was in the wrong and that he needed help was downright humiliating, especially just hours after convincing himself that he never wanted to see them again.

 

How could he go back? Being around them brought so much misery, and yet their company was the only place in the world he felt he could possibly be safe.

 

_'They still have your cookies.'_

 

They did. In his haste to get away, Meowth had completely forgotten about his unopened cookie bag, having left them in Ash's backpack for safekeeping. And he abandoned them without a thought. _'They don't matter,'_ Meowth tried to convince himself. _'They're just cookies. They don't mean nothin'.'_

 

Some gut feeling told him he was lying to himself. That paper package was nothing more than a worthless snack with a mediocre taste, but he felt like he would be rendered empty without it. It was the twerp's gift, a random result of Ash's nosiness and over-consideration. But his act of kindness meant something to him.

 

He had to go back. If only just to retrieve his last shred of hope.

 

Meowth grumbled and sighed before crawling his way out from underneath the dumpster. He had lost his way on his trek from the gym, but he was sure he could find it again, given the time. The starless sky led his way, his cautious heart clutching endlessly on a bout of reverence.

 

* * *

 

 

There were only two places the twerps could possibly be at this time of night. Meowth found his way back to the gym at the far end of the city, skulking in the shadows to avoid attention. He groaned when the lights no longer glowed, signaling the building's closing. No doubt Ash would have long since finished his battle by now.

 

That just left the Pokemon Center.

 

The one place he didn't want to go to, but he knew he had to if he wanted to find them. No doubt they'd be there, resting after a long, tiresome day, greeted with a warm meal as their troubles eased away. Brock would be fawning over the Hearthome City variety Nurse Joy, Dawn playfully teasing Ash about the battle. Back to the way they were before he showed up. Their jovial lifestyle of carelessness and glee would have returned to them the moment he stepped out of their lives.

 

The glowing beacon of crimson and pearl rested innocently a street ahead. Late as it was, there didn't seem to be any trainers trailing in and out of the automatic doors. Meowth frowned. The last time he had walked into a Pokemon Center, much less, one this empty and peaceful, half his blood had leaked out of his countless cuts and lacerations.

 

He had no hope going in then. Much like now, he mused to himself.

 

Meowth took his time in crossing the street, unprepared to enter just yet. He slunk into the planter to the side of the doors, hiding in the bushes as he peered through the glass doors. It took him a second to spot the twerps, all gathered together at a booth and with a bowl of dinner in front of each of them as he predicted. But yet they seemed so... quiet.

 

Though he had no chance of listening in on them from his spot, Meowth noticed their subtle movements, the lack of eye contact. Once in a while, one would mumble something, their lips so tight the cat barely even noticed them speaking.

 

Ash laid a comforting hand on Pikachu, who stared at his bowl of food without movement, his ears drooped and his face long. As she rested her head on her palm, Dawn twisted her noodles with her chopsticks mindlessly. Brock wasn't much different, occasionally picking at his food but never eating it.

 

They all seemed almost... sad.

 

But why? Meowth would have imagined they would be celebrating right about now, all ecstatic to be free of the cat's company. They had sent him off with such an unforgiving farewell that he was sure they all hated him. He wouldn't blame them, he mused; he had been a real tool for the past few days.

 

Well... He supposed now would be as good a time as any to go back. Things couldn't possibly get any worse than they were now, Meowth was sure of it. He crawled out of the planter, brushing the dirt and straggling leaves off his fur.

 

The moment he stepped up to the glass doors, he paused. A million thoughts played in his mind. Whether they would accept him back, or even speak to him at all, he played each scenario out one by one, each one ending worse than the last. He gulped, suddenly feeling the sense of anxiety welling up inside of him.

 

Meowth gnawed at his tongue, curling and uncurling his fists as he prepared to push through the doors.

 

Pikachu noticed him first, his acute senses of hearing tipping him off to the new arrival before the humans even registered him. His ears twitched as he rose his head; his sudden alertness startling the twerps. They turned to follow Pikachu's gaze, each landing on Meowth with wide, glassy eyes.

 

Ash shuffled his way out of the booth. “Meowth... You came back...” The trainer wrung his hat in his hands, sounding a lot more worried than Meowth expected.

 

Meowth huffed in an attempt to build up as much confidence as he could muster. He needed all he could get. “Yeah, well—let's get one thing straight,” he said, his voice threatening to crack with fear. “I ain't here 'cause a' somethin' you said. I'm here 'cause.... I'm here 'cause youse still got my cookies, that's all...”

 

He trembled, ready to hear someone bark at him, ready for someone to curse and scream and throw their dinner at him for being such a selfish asshole. But nobody did.

 

“Is that all?” Ash asked. His expecting tone was worse than anything Meowth could thing of that Ash could scream.

 

He didn't know what came over him. But suddenly, Meowth fell to his hands and knees, shaking and sobbing.

 

“I'm.... I'm sorry,” he cried. “I'm sorry... I-I screwed up. I screwed everythin' up, and I ruined everythin'... All youse did was try ta help me, but I pushed you away... and, and... I get it, I get it if you don't want me around no more. 'Cause all I am is just a real big pain in the ass, and... I get it if you don't wanna deal with me no more.

 

“I just....” His voice softened to a whisper. “I hate bein' alone... and I don't... I don't wanna be on my own, no more... And youse guys were the only ones I could think of to go to...” Meowth took a long breath before continuing. “I know I ain't got no right bein' here, askin' for your help... And that everythin's my fault... but...”

 

He chanced a glance at the twerps through bleary eyes. Not only were they shocked by his apology, but they appeared rather concerned, too. Meowth fell onto his haunches, defeated. That was it. That was all he had left in him. If they didn't have him back after that, then, well... it was over.

 

Ash stepped down onto his knee, matching Meowth's height. His chocolate eyes met the cat's, consoling and yet a bit cold. “You really hurt everyone with what you said,” he spoke. “Especially Pikachu.”

 

The rat in question stood a considerable distance away from the scene, just a few feet behind Ash. Meowth saw him watching with a pout, clearly still upset about everything the cat spewed about him.

 

“I know...” Meowth said. He sniffled. “I'm real sorry... 'bout everythin'...”

 

Ash pursed his lips into something between a smile and a grimace. “I get it, though. You're just really upset about what happened. Guess you were bound to get fed up, sooner or later. Guess we shoulda just given you more space.”

 

Meowth bowed his head, ears flattening against his skull. He didn't think he could sink any lower into the ground than he already was, but he kept surprising himself.

 

“I'm really glad you're back, though.”

 

In a second, Meowth lifted his head right back up. “...Huh?”

 

Ash gave a small smile. “I was really worried.”

 

“We all were,” Brock added. Dawn nodded in agreement.

 

“But... But, I—” Meowth stuttered out. “I thought youse were all mad at me... Ain'tcha mad at me?”

 

“Well, we were, but...” Ash turned to Brock to finish the explanation.

 

“We kinda just realized that you were just having a bad time,” Brock supplied. “With all that's happened to you, we should've expected you to explode like that... We just didn't really take it too well when you did...”

 

“We looked for you for a while after Ash forfeited,” Dawn put in. “But by the time we started looking, you were long gone.”

 

Meowth immediately swiveled his head to face Ash, and incredulous look emblazoned upon his face. “You _forfeited_? But why?”

 

Ash shrugged. “I couldn't focus after you left,” he said. “Nothing felt right. Besides, I don't think I woulda won anyways. But it's fine; I can always try again tomorrow.”

 

The cat's heart sunk. Ash had given up a chance to earn his fifth badge, one he worked so hard to obtain, just to look for him. He had been close to winning that battle, too. It was a stupid decision on Ash's part, Meowth couldn't help but think. Now Fantina would undoubtedly concoct some means of defense against the trainer's new moves. Meowth couldn't wave the guilty feeling creeping into his stomach.

 

Behind Ash, he overheard a huff from Pikachu.

 

Meowth wiped the remnants of tears from his eyes. “You're a real twerp, you know that?” he said. “I mean, a real dope. That's a real stupid move, even for you... But.. I....” He could barely spit the words out. “Thank you...”

 

Ash smiled. “You're welcome...” He scooted a bit closer. “Is it alright if I hug you?”

 

Meowth flinched at the thought, but eventually relaxed. He sniffled again. “Knock y'self out, Twerp.”

 

Without a moment's hesitation, Ash pulled the cat into his arms, holding him in a tight embrace. Meowth stayed frozen in his grasp for a second, stunned to silence by the sudden display of kindness, but eventually found the will to hug back.

 

He could feel his innards wrenching, pools of tears threatening to spill again. He didn't deserve this. He gave these kids nothing but trouble for the entire time he knew him. Even without his partners in crime, Meowth still managed to be a nuisance. And yet... He hugged tighter, having realized just how much he missed the warm embraces.

 

Eventually, Ash pulled away, still looking Meowth in the eyes. His own chocolate orbs shone with a glassy glaze. “You know what, Meowth?” The cat looked inquisitively at him. “You haven't had a memorial for Jessie and James yet, have you?”

 

Meowth tilted his head at the question. “No, I... I haven't...”

 

“Well then we should have one!” Ash proclaimed. “Right now!”

 

“But—but don'tcha need the bodies for a memorial?” He asked.

 

“Not quite,” Brock put in. “That's more along the lines of a funeral. A memorial's mainly just celebrating all the memories and the times you had with the ones who've passed. They don't need to be real fancy.”

 

“I dunno...” Meowth sighed. “I... I think I already burdened youse with enough a' my problems.”

 

“Don't worry about it,” Dawn said. “Ash was planning on having one for them out back whether you came back or not. Even took the liberty of printing out a bunch of pictures.”

 

Meowth's brow rose.

 

“Actually, the whole thing was Dawn's idea,” Ash said. The twerpette shrugged and bowed her head with a humble air. “We got some things settled out already in the back if you wanna do it. How 'bout it, Meowth?”

 

The cat swallowed, his cheeks flushed. He didn't know what to say. What _could_ he say? These twerps were just too damn nice for their own good. He couldn't help but think back at his past fear that they would all reject him and throw him back to the streets. Three and a half whole years Meowth and his friends had been chasing after Ash; he should have expected their chummy kindness to pour out in droves.

 

“Yeah...” He finally whispered. “Yeah, that'd be nice.”

 

 

The next thing he knew, they were all heading outside to the back of the Pokemon Center, out to where the practice battlefield lay dormant in the quiet night. Up ahead, Meowth could spot a small, blank post surrounded by a variety of colorful flowers and stands holding up unlit candles. Clearly there was much work to be done, but it still looked beautiful even without the extra parts.

 

“Hey, umm...” Dawn piped up from beside the cat. She held her arms close to her, pursing her lips tightly. “I'm really sorry about what I said earlier. That was... really mean. I just didn't realize what I was saying at the time, I guess.”

 

Meowth tilted his head just the slightest bit, but allowed her to continue.

 

“Ever since we found you, I've been a big jerk to you. I guess I was just so convinced that this whole thing was just a big lie that I didn't even consider what it must be like for you if... if you were telling the truth...” She said.

 

“You was right.”

 

His response caught her off guard. “Huh?”

 

“Everythin' you said,” Meowth continued. “You was right about all of it. I was the jerk. I was just so mad about losin' my friends that I lashed out on all a' youse. And I blamed you all for shit that I did. Honestly, I don't know why you put up with me for as long as you did.”

 

Dawn sighed. “Guess we both said things we regret, huh?” Meowth bowed his head in a silent nod. She stopped in her tracks for a moment, offering a hand. She was short enough to only have to bend her legs a little to reach his height. “Truce?”

 

Meowth took her offer, and they shook. “Truce.”

 

They reached the memorial base. Everyone spread out around the display in a half circle, taking in the sight. Ash dug into his pocket, brandishing some thumbtacks and a rather thick stack of pictures. He placed the stack on the stand, then one by one, each twerp began to nail the pictures to the empty post.

 

Meowth watched each picture go up, his eyes flashing with recognition. The photos were of Jessie and James, and himself, too. And not all just wanted poster cut-outs, either. Actual moments of their lives; moments Meowth could clearly recall. Security footage of a heist they committed in a pokeball factory, plenty shots of 'Jessilina's' coordinating career, the multiple times they stole the spotlight from famous musicians and actors on stage—Meowth recognized every single one.

 

“Where'dja find these?” He asked.

 

“On the internet, mostly,” Ash replied. “Most of it's just security footage, but you'd be surprised at how many people have taken pictures of you.”

 

“We also gave Todd a call to see if he had any shots he'd be willing to send a copy of,” Brock added.

 

“The camera twerp from back in Kanto?”

 

“That's the one. Turns out he took a lot of pictures of you three. Thought you all were just the goofiest subject matter.”

 

Meowth managed a grin. It made him happy knowing that stilled moments of their life still existed as living proof of their escapades. The closest thing the cat really ever had as a reminder were all the costumes and disguises they had accumulated throughout the years. They had all been suckers for the spotlight, eager to get as much shots in to satisfy their vain sides as they could manage. Jessie and James's phones were filled to capacity with just photos of themselves, but none had ever reached a physical development. And their devices were lost along with them.

 

Another photo went up: a shot of the time they all entered that pokemon beauty contest. Meowth nearly relived his utter humiliation at the sight of the god-awful makeup Jessie and James dressed him up in, but he remembered the performance they put on being a rather memorable one.

 

Other photos soon joined its side. A couple selfies in the security cameras, Jessie's performance in the Princess Festival, James and Mime Junior's victory at the Kanto Orienteering Contest, Meowth's prideful attempts at winning a balloon racing contest, a shot of the time they all worked together constructing a land-motorboat from the remnants of a destroyed helicopter and a ship's spare inflatable raft.

 

His chest grew tighter with each one that took its place on the post.

 

Ash grabbed at one of the few remaining ones. He took a look at it for a second, allowing himself a small snicker, then began to add it to the post. Meowth recognized the moment in the small glimpse he got of the photo. His heart jumped.

 

“Wait! Lemme see that one!” he called out.

 

Ash stopped in his tracks, then quickly handed the picture over to Meowth. He quirked his lips. “Heh, my mom took this one,” he mentioned.

 

Black suits, canes, top hats, red bow ties, a dramatic group pose, a shoddy red curtain to their backs. Meowth knew the exact moment the photo existed in. It was all the way back in Kanto, the early days of following the twerps. The moments after his fight for his lost love's affection. Jessie had been the one to suggest such a silly idea to upstage that kooky director's movie with a little theatrical number of their own. Meowth was in such bad spirits after having his heart broken all over again, but the suggestion had managed to bring a toothy grin to his face.

 

The moment was goofy. The outfits were haphazardly stolen and fitted. Meowth remembered having to run all the way back to the theater just to make sure the twerps hadn't left by the time they got there. But none of that was the point.

 

Jessie and James, just moments before their little sidetracked excursion, had shown just how much they cared for him, how deeply they loved him. They had shown up to help in his darkest hour, backed him up when he thought for sure he would have to face his problems alone. Somehow they had known that he was in trouble, and decided to keep him out of harm's way by sticking by his side.

 

_'It's so nice to have real friends,'_ Meowth found himself repeating through his head. Friends. Real friends. Friends that had no clue what he was going through, yet stuck their necks out to support him anyway. Friends that patched up his wounds long after the battle. Friends that lent their silent support from afar when all he wanted was to be alone with his thoughts.

 

A droplet fell onto photo. Only then did Meowth realize he was crying again. He hastily wiped his eyes, choking down whatever miserable, sob-ridden noise that threatened to escape his throat. Clutching the picture close, he looked up at the others.

 

“I wanna keep this one,” he said.

 

Ash just smiled. “Go ahead.”

 

Soon the rest of the photos had found their places on the post. Once the collage was done, Brock struck a match and carefully lit the candles surrounding the stand. With each wick lit, the makeshift memorial gained a little color, a little warmth. The light danced beautifully off the pictures' glossy surfaces, bringing out a certain sparkle to the stand.

 

Meowth sighed, holding his photo close. Though thrown together at the drop of a hat, the memorial turned out quite gorgeously. It surprised him the amount of detail and care the twerps put into making a shrine for their enemies, but he was glad that they did.

 

He recalled what Ash said the other day: sure, they were adversaries, but they had helped each other out on so many occasions. Team Rocket, in a way, were Ash's best friends; the only ones who hadn't decided to leave his side to pursue their own goals. Sure they were technically stalking him, but somehow, they managed to grow close through the experiences.

 

It struck him that the memorial was missing something. Meowth climbed up to Ash's shoulder and opened his backpack. In a moment, he dug out what he was looking for. He hopped off with his cookie bag in hand, gazing at its unopened, undisturbed glory. The cat gave a small smile and a sigh before placing it among the flowers.

 

The twerps watched him, silently nodding at his decision. Brock gazed at the memorial, scratching the back of his head. “Almost can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm really gonna miss Jessie and James,” he said.

 

“Me too,” Dawn agreed. “It's gonna be so different without them on our tails all the time. I didn't know much about them 'sides the fact that they were criminals, but they sure did know how to make a day exciting.”

 

“They did so much for me,” Ash added. “I remember all the times they've cheered me on through a tough battle, and all the times they've saved my life. They didn't have to do that, and yet... they did. And in a way, if it weren't for them, Pikachu and I might not have had as strong a bond as we do.”

 

Ash looked down at the electric mouse, who had been silently staring at the display for his enemies without movement the entire time. At the mention, Pikachu looked up to his best friend, forcing a grin.

 

“It's not gonna be the same without 'em,” Ash concluded. He slumped his shoulders, casting his gaze to the ground.

 

“They was always there for me,” Meowth finally spoke. “We fought a lot, and screwed up lots, too. But even through the bad times, they never left me. I didn't think I'd ever find anyone who'd bother carin' about me like they did. They was more than friends... They was... my family... And I'm gonna miss 'em so much...”

 

Ash knelt down and rested a hand on Meowth's shoulder, offering a reassuring smile. The trainer pulled him into a hug, which Meowth didn't resist. In seconds, Dawn joined in on the hug, then Brock as well. Meowth relished in their warmth, the comfort they supplied. It almost felt like home.

 

The cat wiped his eyes again once they broke apart. “Thanks for doin' this...” he said. “I know we didn't deserve it...”

 

“Maybe not, but I still think you needed it,” Ash replied. “We're here for you, no matter what.”

 

“Yeah, no need to worry—that's what friends are for,” Dawn agreed.

 

It felt strange to hear the twerps calling him their friend, but something about it made Meowth's heart warm. “Aww, you lugs,” he joked.

 

They all smiled and shared a small laugh. With the twerps by his side, Meowth almost forgot the actual reason why he had come back to begin with. But it didn't matter now. They were here for him, no matter what. There until the end of the line.

 

He gazed at all their faces. Brock's silent, supportive grin, Dawn's teary, blissful eyes, Ash's jovial chuckle. Each filled him with something, some sort of hope that maybe, just maybe, everything would turn out alright.

 

But behind him, lingering about, Meowth saw Pikachu. The mouse stared somberly at his group of friends, staring intently at the cat. His melancholic face made Meowth's stomach clutch. Noticing his gaze, Pikachu huffed and turned away. Meowth frowned, but payed the rat no mind as he followed the group back inside.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :) There is no such thing as happiness :)
> 
> So in case you didn't figure it out already: I DON'T SPEAK FRENCH. So if ANY of Fantina's dialogue is awkward or just completely utterly fucking wrong, please, please, PLEASE let me know, and I'll happily change it.
> 
> That's all for now. Have a nice night, and thank you for reading so far ^^


	6. The Gun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoooooooooooooooooooo boy. I'm nervous about this one. It's some intense stuff, and I'm worried I might not have elaborated on some scenes as much as I should have D: I'm just praying to god that I forshadowed all this stuff well enough so that it doesn't feel like it comes completely out of left field.
> 
> Just one recommended rewatch today:  
> A Poached Ego (AG006)
> 
> Last chapter comes out tomorrow woooooooo

“You sure you're okay with just staying out here?” Ash asked.

 

Meowth nodded. “I don't belong in there,” he replied. “Don't worry 'bout me, I'll be fine.”

 

The group lingered outside the Hearthome gym doors, hesitant to open them. Being ever persistent as he was, Ash headed right back the next day for another chance to win his fifth badge.

 

After the traumatic memories that had flooded his vision previously, Meowth couldn't bear to go back in. He supported Ash in his battle, gave him his mental cheers, but there was no way he was stepping foot back into that gym. The idea of loitering around the building until the match finished and they could finally move on suited him just fine.

 

“Well, do you want one of us to stay out here with you? It's not a problem,” Dawn said.

 

“Nah.” Meowth shook his head. He casually ran his thumb across the photo he still carried with him, the glossy surface filling him with a certain comfort. “Youse kids go have fun.”

 

Ash scratched his head, looking to Brock for support. The breeder simply shrugged, lacking the ability to possibly convince Meowth otherwise. The cat's mind had already been made up, and he wasn't about to try and change it.

 

“Alright,” Ash sighed. He moved to open the door, but stopped on his way through. “If you need anything, we'll be in here.”

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Meowth raised his paw in a half-wave, signaling them to leave. “Now go on. And don't you come back out without that gym badge, ya hear?”

 

The trainer laughed. Finally, the twerps made their way into the gym. Meowth watched them through the doorway they left cracked open, watching the support twerps take the same seats they took yesterday. Ash let out Buizel and Chimchar and crouched down to their level, ready to give them a pep talk.

 

Meowth took that as his cue to leave. He imagined a few laps around the gym would be enough to pass the time. Then he could stay close, too. Meowth began walking, whistling a random tune he made up as he went along.

 

 

Pikachu watched Meowth leave, frowning, barely hearing what Ash was saying. He sighed, grumbling to himself before making his way out the door to follow the cat. They needed to talk. Pikachu knew his head wouldn't be clear enough for the battle until he did.

 

“Hey Pikachu, don't wander too far, okay? I think I'm gonna switch up the order,” Ash called out. Pikachu chirped in response, a damper tone plaguing his usually upbeat voice.

 

Meowth rounded the corner in a casual stroll, arms folded behind his head. The mouse followed slowly, aggravated, yet anxious to reach him. The things Meowth had said to him the day before echoed in his mind on an endless loop, pushing out all other thoughts. Pikachu shook his head in frustration. He knew Meowth had said sorry about it, but not to him. He had said it to _Ash_. And as soppy as his confession was, Pikachu couldn't bear to hear it. He needed to take his problems with the cat personally.

 

Pikachu followed him around the corner, intent on catching up. Meowth didn't seem to notice him following him, caught up in his own thoughts. He didn't seem to notice the tall, gruff man striding towards him, either.

 

The mouse stopped. Who was that? No one else was around; nobody had any reason to walk this way. What was he doing here? Pikachu watched, daunting thoughts of suspicious intentions ringing through his mind.

 

What if he was a Rocket? What if he and Meowth were planning to meet up at the back of the gym and concoct a some plan for some heinous heist? Pikachu leered, almost growling at the possible betrayal.

 

Until the man grabbed Meowth by the scruff and stuffed him into a sack.

 

“Hey!! What the hell are ya doin'?! Lemme go!!” Pikachu could hear Meowth screaming from inside his confines. His words were muffled, but nonetheless loud. Pikachu watched in horror, not believing what he was seeing. What was the guy planning to do with Meowth? He couldn't be a Rocket—could he? The mouse felt paralyzed, shaking with uncertainty.

 

He should do something. He needed to _do_ something.

 

Meowth squirmed inside the bag, his movements slippery and powerless. He continued to shout.

 

The mystery man pulled out a gun.

 

Alarms blared in Pikachu's brain, overpowering any coherent thoughts he had. Before he realized what he was doing, he charged forward into a Quick Attack. The mouse leaped up, tackling into the man headfirst.

 

He heard a gunshot.

 

Fear and dread clawed at Pikachu's insides as he assumed the worst, his body going rigid. As he landed, he looked immediately towards the bag.

 

Meowth had screamed when the gunshot sounded, but it was a scream of terror rather than one of pain. A wave of relief washed over him when Pikachu realized that the bullet had missed. Meowth was fine. Still stuck in a bag, still trying to claw his way out, but he was _fine_.

 

Pikachu's attention turned abruptly to the cat's captor. A scowl darkened the man's features, and he growled, clearly upset that he blew a hole in the wall instead of in his intended target. It was only then that Pikachu realized that he had managed to knock the gun right out of his hand and to the floor. It was also then that he realized Meowth had dropped the photo he had been carrying.

 

Pikachu froze, legs quaking beneath him. The man looked ready to slam his foot into his skull. He wasn't sure if he'd be quick enough to dodge.

 

“What's going on? Pikachu, Meowth, where are you?!”

 

He heard Ash's voice in the distance, just around the corner. The man tensed up upon hearing them. Pikachu called out as loud as he could, desperate to grab Ash's attention. But before he could finish his plea, he was pulled off the ground and shoved into the same sack Meowth lay in.

 

“Get offa me!” The cat squirmed and pushed at the sudden weight forced on him; they both tried to stand upright in the unstable bag, without success.

 

“ _I'm trying!_ ”

 

The weight holding them up suddenly changed. It felt as if they were flying through the air, momentum carrying them faster and faster as they swung until they came to a crashing halt to a hard surface. Pikachu felt the unsuppressed agony of the stony collision with what he was sure was the gym wall before his world went black.

 

* * *

 

“ _Meowth... Meowth, wake up!_ ”

 

Someone shook him, their high-pitched squeak of a voice pleading with him to open his eyes. When he became aware of his consciousness, a raging pain racked his skull. Meowth cracked his lids open; quite a challenge to complete, but when he achieved success, he saw nothing but darkness.

 

The ground beneath him rumbled and shook. It took him a moment to realize that he wasn't on a dirt surface, but rather some fuzzy, itchy carpeting. Some sort of untied sack still hung loosely around the lower half of his body.

 

He felt a paw grip his shoulder. Small, soft, grasping desperately with a tight squeeze. Meowth's eyes finally adjusted to the darkness after what felt like an eternity.

 

“Wh...Where the hell are we?” He asked groggily.

 

A small wave of relief washed over Pikachu upon hearing him talk, but it quickly dissipated. “ _In someone's car trunk. That guy must've knocked us out before running,_ ” he explained with a sigh. Meowth looked around, bright eyes searching for some light, some way to escape. Pikachu noticed his frantic gaze. “ _There's no way out. I already checked..._ ”

 

Meowth stopped his searching, slumping back down. “Shit,” He murmured. With a heavy sigh, he rested his head against the metal of the trunk. The vibrations of the car rang through his skull, causing his headache to worsen. He clutched his eyes shut.

 

This couldn't be happening. He let his guard down for one moment, _one moment_ , and now he was paying the price.

 

“ _So who'd you piss off this time?_ ”

 

Bright blue eyes sprung open at the question, pupils narrowing. “What'd you say?”

 

“ _You heard me. That guy's obviously got something against you. Otherwise he wouldn't have tried to kill you just now,_ ” Pikachu mirrored Meowth's position, but kept his eyes trained on the cat. No sympathy graced his demeanor. “ _So what'd you do?_ ”

 

“I didn't do _nothin'_. I gots no idea who this guy is!”

 

“ _Sure you don't. You just can't stay out of trouble no matter what, can you?_ ”

 

“Pikachu, I've been with your twerpy trainer and his pals this entire time—you know I didn't do nothin'!” Meowth huffed, his claws scraping against the carpeting. “And in case ya haven't noticed, _you're_ in here _with_ me!”

 

The rat rolled his eyes. _“I'm only here 'cause I tried to save your sorry butt from getting killed!”_

 

“Ya didn't have to, ya know—no one asked you to! You coulda just let it happen and never have to put up with me ever again!”

 

“ _I didn't want you to die!_ ”

 

“And why not, huh? So's you can keep that li'l conscience of yours clean? My blood on the wall too much for youse to handle?”

 

“ _Because I_ _ **care**_ _about you, you idiot!!_ ”

 

It stopped the words coming out of the cat's mouth. Though his visibility was limited in the dark trunk, Meowth swore he saw tears glistening in Pikachu's eyes.

 

“ _I didn't_ _ **want**_ _to see you die..._ ” The mouse admitted. _“Maybe... Maybe we're not friends... But I still care about you. I hated seeing you so upset at everything. And I tried to help you in all the ways I could, but... you wanted nothing to do with me... And I get it. You hate me. I'd hate me, too, if what happened to you was happening to me...”_

 

Meowth couldn't keep the anger in his system any longer. Like a ghost long forgotten, it disappeared, leaving a hollow shell. His heart clenched.

 

He had been a fool, wasting so much time and energy hating his enemy. Pikachu had tried so hard to reach out to him, to pull him out from his rut and show him that despite everything, he cared about the cat. He knew what he was going through, and Pikachu had been so determined to show him that he wouldn't have to deal with everything alone.

 

Meowth had managed to forgive everybody else, even the ones who put up such a tantrum at his mere presence. Yet some stubborn, ignorant part of him just didn't have the courage to forgive his greatest adversary. The one who, despite having every reason in the world to hate him, despise him, wish death upon him, still wanted to help him through his hardships.

 

“I don't hate you,” Meowth murmured, resting his back against the wall of the trunk. He stared at the black abyss the enclosed space encapsulated them in. “I just... I dunno. I just couldn't stand bein' around you. You just made me remember too many things, and I couldn't handle it... And I took everythin' out on you. If anythin', you should be hatin' me.”

 

“ _Well..._ ” Pikachu sighed. “ _I don't.”_

 

_“_ That's real stupid of you, you know. _”_

 

_“Maybe it is. But what can I say? It's... really hard for me to hate someone._ ” The mouse turned away, sighing again. “ _What now?_ ”

 

The cat's shoulders slumped. “We wait for somethin' to happen, I guess. Hopefully before we suffocate in here.”

 

“ _Ash'll come,_ ” Pikachu affirmed. “ _He always does._ ”

 

“You think so, huh?”

 

“ _He's never failed me before._ ”

 

The air grew lighter and lighter with each passing minute. Soon they found themselves gasping, struggling for breath. Meowth grimaced; this wasn't exactly how he pictured going out.

 

But at least he had a friend by his side. A dumb friend, one that gave him way more support and affection than he deserved, but a friend nonetheless. He almost hated to admit it to himself, but he, too, cared about the mouse in return.

 

“Hey, uhm... Pikachu?” The cat felt his chest seize, his lungs convulsing. He swallowed hard. “In case we end up... you know—not makin' it...”

 

“ _We'll make it._ ”

 

Meowth frowned at the interruption. “I just want you to know that... I'm real sorry. For everythin'. I know youse could never forgive me for all the things I done, but... I'm sorry.”

 

Pikachu's ears drooped, but he managed a small smile. That was all Meowth needed to see; he knew an acceptance was probably too much to ask for. To get even that much of a response was a gift.

 

“It was never personal, you know? It was all just business,” he smirked.

 

“ _Not personal, huh? So that's why you stalked me and Ash all the way around the world?_ ” Pikachu grinned knowingly right back.

 

“Okay, okay, maybe we grew a li'l attached to youse.” Meowth chuckled. He wiped the sweat dripping from his forehead. “How could we not? You're just so damn—”

 

Something violently shook the car. Meowth and Pikachu lost their balance at the sudden swerve, instinctively lunging for each other as a means of not toppling over. Another swivel, this time in the opposite direction. With each sharp turn, the car tossed the two pokemon around like rag dolls. They could feel the bumps and bruises forming from every wall they crashed into, each of which seemed to grow warmer and warmer with each passing second.

 

“The hell's goin' on?!” Meowth managed to question. The car's speed buckled, throwing him hard against the trunk wall with Pikachu following close behind.

 

“ _I don't know!”_ the mouse shouted back. As soon as they regained their footing, the car made another jerky stop, sending the two pokemon toppling to the floor.

 

One particularly loud thud shook the entire vehicle, stopping it in its tracks. Meowth and Pikachu collapsed, feeling sick and dizzy from the wild ride they were forced onto. Meowth shakily stood up, grasping at the wall for support.

 

The sound of gunshots made him jump. Pikachu started too, equally surprised and fearful of whatever was happening outside. Meowth swore he heard someone he knew shouting.

 

Something clicked. A slim ray of light peered through the dark trunk, a small opening to the outside world. Pikachu put his paws to the hood, experimentally pushing it up.

 

A blast of cool, fresh air served as their answer, making them gasp and swallow in as much as they could manage. “ _Look, it opened!_ ” Pikachu confirmed. They stumbled out, landing clumsily in the grass.

 

The car had crashed, its progress halted by a resilient tree. Leading up to the sight was a carved path of skid marks in the field, chunks of grass mercilessly torn away by the car's tires. On the far edge of the field lay a barren road, which they seemed to have deviated from when the driver lost control.

 

The two noticed immediately that the driver was no longer in the car. The door hung wide open, revealing the mess that lay within. The seats smoldered with the scent of charred fabric, the claw marks evident as a sign of struggle.

 

More gunshots pulled Meowth and Pikachu's attention away from the smoking car. There, running into the thick of the forest, was their kidnapper. Though Meowth only saw him for a second before he disappeared behind the trees, Meowth recognized him in an instant. He gasped. “That's the guy that ran inta me in the store!”

 

“Are you sure?” Pikachu questioned, watching the scene with terror in his eyes.

 

“Positive!”

 

The man aimed wildly at something, some moving target that seemed to evade his sight with incredible speed. Meowth caught a glimpse of the adversary's flaming tail, and his mind flashed in recognition.

 

“Chimmy!” He gasped. Without a moment's hesitation, the cat ran towards the fight, Pikachu following close behind.

 

“ _You're okay!_ ” Chimchar rejoiced once he caught sight of his friends. He didn't appear to be harmed, Meowth noticed. The monkey looked exhausted, but determined to defend himself from his attacker. The rest of the twerps were nowhere in sight. Meowth had no idea how Chimchar had gotten here, but that didn't matter. He couldn't be happier to see him.

 

Chimchar quickly jumped from tree to tree, spouting out a Flamethrower whenever he got the opportunity. Pikachu took the distraction the monkey provided as an opening to attack. He dashed forward, easily outrunning Meowth, then jumped into the air to deliver an Iron Tail to the man's head.

 

The man stumbled, quite taken aback by the attack. He sneered, turning his attention on Pikachu. Two more rounds fired from his gun, but with tricky maneuvering around the trees, the mouse managed to miss them by a hair.

 

Chimchar spun himself into a Flame Wheel, a path of charred grass trailing behind him wherever he moved. He carted into the man's backside, forcing him to stumble clumsily forward. Pikachu used the chance to drive him back with a powerful Quick Attack.

 

The combined attacks left an opening. The man staggered about, desperately trying to keep his balance and his hold on the gun while simultaneously trying to pat out the stray flames burning holes through his coat. Meowth gulped; now would be the perfect time to capitalize on the onslaught.

 

He just hoped he could do it.

 

He charged forward, claws extended. _'Think dark thoughts, think dark thoughts,'_ Meowth repeated in his head over and over. _'Should be a cinch, right? That's all you've been thinkin' lately.'_

 

He breathed in, held the air in for a moment, then out again. Every bit of energy he could muster went into his claws, all the rage and sadness and hopelessness he had been feeling fused together to conjure up a single attack. In a moment, Meowth felt it. The aura enveloped his claws in a cold, suffocating haze, glowing darkly against the sun's sharp rays. He jumped.

 

This was it. Now or never. He closed his eyes and swung.

 

Meowth heard a shout of agony, accompanied by the feeling of skin tearing underneath his claws. At the sensation, he opened his eyes.

 

The man finally toppled over, his calloused hands clutching at his face. The haze of Meowth's attack seemed to linger from the bleeding cuts torn into his face, casting his expression in a much darker light

 

He had done it. He actually managed to pull Night Slash off. But Meowth didn't have time to celebrate. Exaustion overcame the cat from all the energy he had put into the attack, and somehow he knew he wouldn't be able to pull off another one.

 

The man growled through his teeth, glaring daggers through his fingers at his attacker. He clutched at the ground with his other hand, clawing his way slowly towards Meowth with intent to strangle him. “Why you _little_ —”

 

A powerful Thunderbolt cut him off, rendering him powerless. Had the entire situation been different, Meowth would have laughed at seeing someone who was not him or his team getting shocked to paralysis. As it stood, he settled for watching the man writhe and twitch on the ground with an almost sickening glee.

 

“ _Meowth! Pikachu!_ ” Chimchar shouted. The chimp ran up to the two pokemon, tackling them with a tight hug. They returned the embrace gratefully, then pulled away.

 

“ _How'd you get here?_ ” Pikachu questioned.

 

“ _When I saw that guy heading off with you two, I got onto his car just before he took off,_ ” Chimchar explained. “ _Ash and the others should be here soon, I think. Hopefully they managed to follow us._ ”

 

Grins of relief spread across the two pokemons' faces. Meowth patted the chimp on the shoulder, the gesture earning him a starry gaze. “That took real guts, Chimmy. If it weren't for you, I...” He looked at Pikachu. “We'd....”

 

His attention slowly cast onto the man laying motionless a mere yard away from him, and more importantly: his dropped weapon. The gun lay defenseless between the two. The man visibly tried to move his arm to grab it, but the static electricity of Pikachu's Thunderbolt rendered him frozen. Meowth watched the pathetic spectacle for a second, before taking the gun for himself.

 

Pikachu and Chimchar gasped in unison when Meowth hesitantly pointed the weapon at the man, but calmed down just a notch when he didn't fire. The cat held it unsteadily, the weight causing his adrenaline-drained body to tremble. He gulped.

 

“Who the hell are youse?” He interrogated, a shaky fear addling his tone.

 

The man scoffed. “Go to hell.”

 

Meowth's grip on the gun tightened. “ _Answer me._ Who _are_ you, and why are you trying to _off me_?”

 

The man's rugged, unkempt beard hid away most of the teeth in his grimace. “You don't recognize me?” He growled. “One year ago, back in Hoenn, I took up a job to round up all the poison type pokemon I could find and sell them. And who decides to stick their noses where they don't belong and ruin everything, but two bumbling idiots and their freak of a cat?”

 

Meowth frowned at the man's choice of words, but the feeling quickly disappeared when suddenly the realization dawned on him. “ _You,_ ” he spat.

 

Pikachu gasped silently, recognition gleaming in his eyes. “ _Pokemon Hunter Rico,_ ” he murmured. “ _But... But Officer Jenny arrested you! ...Didn't she?_ ”

 

“What're you doin' outta the slammer?” Meowth asked, knowing Pikachu's words wouldn't get through to the man.

 

“I had unfinished business to take care of.” Rico tried to shift to a more comfortable position, but winced and sucked in air through his teeth when his muscles spazzed. “My pokemon were taken from me. Officer Jenny let them loose somewhere where I'd never find them. Not that it mattered. Word got around that I fucked up my mission because of you three. I couldn't find anymore work, 'cause no one wants to hire someone who got foiled by Team Rocket's throwaways.”

 

Pikachu furrowed his brow, gaze switching in a rhythm between Rico and Meowth. The mouse's stomach clenched. Pikachu didn't even remember seeing Team Rocket the day they encountered the infamous pokemon hunter, but ever since that day, he recalled the trio having grown a mysteriously darker tone. Not to mention he never saw Arbok or Weezing since then. Was there more to the entire Rico fiasco that he and Ash simply missed out on? “ _Meowth, what's he talking about...?_ ”

 

“Forgive me for not sheddin' a tear,” Meowth deadpanned, too preoccupied to answer Pikachu. “Why don't you get to the part where I'm s'posed ta care?”

 

“You ruined my life, you know? You and the other two jackasses you hung around with. All the time I was in jail, all I thought about was finding you again and making you all suffer,” Rico continued. “Didn't take long to find you all. The hard part was finding the right way to make you the perfect bait. It was a damn good thing I trapped that teddiursa when I did.”

 

Shock. Fear. Dread. A feeling akin to a sickeningly powerful Thunderbolt jolted through Meowth's system. “...W-what Teddiursa?” He breathed out.

 

“Cute little thing. Young. Came stumbling right into the trap I had laid out.” Rico grinned. “You shoulda heard 'im scream.”

 

Meowth sneered in disgust, the sudden urge to vomit swirling around in his stomach. “You're _sick._ ”

 

“That didn't please that Ursaring hoard too well to find their kid dead. At the hands of humans, no less. They didn't know _which_ humans, so they attacked the first ones they laid eyes on.”

 

His heart sunk. Suddenly the outside world ceased to exist. Meowth didn't even hear Pikachu and Chimchar chattering things to him, didn't feel their paws brushing up against his fur.

 

“A-are you sayin'....?”

 

He couldn't finish his statement. The bitter taste of bile overtook his tongue.

 

Rico only leered. “It was just a damn shame they didn't finish you all off.”

 

The world stopped rotating. The breeze stopped blowing. The sun stopped shining. Meowth's heart stopped beating.

 

He killed them.

 

He _killed_ them.

 

He _murdered_ Jessie and James like they were nothing but irritating pests.

 

This disgusting, vile _monster_ took his family _away from him_.

 

Suddenly nothing else mattered; nothing but the murderer lying paralyzed in front of him, and the fact that he held a gun in his paws.

 

“You—You—” Tears threatened to overflow like a waterfall down his cheeks. He bit them down. Then he pointed the gun right at Rico's face. “You better have one _damn_ good reason why I shouldn't put a bullet right between your eyes!!”

 

“ _Meowth, wait a minute—”_ Pikachu pleaded. Meowth barely heard him, barely felt the touch to his arm.

 

The world burned at the edges of his vision. This bastard, this revolting, awful human being took his whole world away from him, and did nothing but spasm and sneer. What he did didn't bother him. He didn't _care_. Instead, Rico was filled to the brim with _glee._

 

Meowth hated him. He loathed and abhorred him with every fiber of his being. He wanted nothing more than to pull the trigger again and again and again until either the bullets ran out, or the target did.

 

Never in his life had he killed before; not with a weapon, not with his own claws, not with Team Rocket, not even on the lonely road to Hollywood where hunting was the only way to save himself from starvation. Never had he known the feeling of someone else's blood staining his paws as a result of his own actions.

 

Suddenly, Meowth felt an unwavering need to learn it.

 

Rico spat at his feet, and laughed. _Laughed._ The awful noise burned like acid in Meowth's ears. “You're not gonna do it,” Rico jeered. “You don't have the _guts_ to—”

 

_**'BANG!'** _

 

Starly and Murkrow retreated to the sky upon the unannounced gunshot. Both Pikachu and Chimchar yelped, jumping right out of their fur. They turned back to the scene, dreading the bloodied image that would undoubtedly linger in their minds for eternity.

 

Meowth, with his eyes wide and body shaking, gripped the smoking gun with white knuckles, still aimed in the general direction of the pokemon hunter. But Rico still breathed. The only gaping wounds he sported were the ones obtained by the battle that took place just minutes ago. His eyes were saucers, bloodshot and terrified, but they still shone with life.

 

Meowth had missed.

 

“What the _hell?!_ ” Rico shrieked.

 

An uncountable amount of lines creased Meowth's face and twisted it into an ugly snarl. He seethed, teeth bared in glistening sharp points of white. He managed a breath—more of a huff than anything—then swallowed.

 

“Never really was good at firin' a gun. Three fingers, ya see? It's hard to hold it steady and shoot straight,” He growled out. Rico leered, trying to shuffle away from the cat as much as possible. “Wanna see me try it _again?”_

 

Pikachu blinked, his heart racing. Was that supposed to be some sort of joke? Meowth picked one hell of a time to crack one. It occurred to him that this was the first attempt at a witty remark Pikachu heard him try in a long time. But there was no humor in Meowth's voice; just pure, unkempt rage.

 

“You're terrible. You a sick human bein',” Meowth spat. “You took everythin' from me. You took my whole world away from me, and you don't even _care._ You don't deserve to live...”

 

“Then why don't you just shoot me and get it over with?”

 

The question echoed in his brain, racking his innards and tearing away at his heart. Why _hadn't_ he shot him yet? He intended to. Tried, even. There was no reason why he couldn't try again. But his nerves betrayed him. He cursed himself, holding the gun as steady as he could, with his claw rested firmly on the trigger.

 

“ _Meowth, don't do it,_ ” He heard Pikachu say. “ _I know it's hard, a-and he deserves it—you're right—but... Please don't do it.”_

 

_“Officer Jenny'll take care of him,”_ Chimchar added. “ _They'll all be here soon, just wait.”_

 

_“Shooting him's not gonna bring Jessie and James back. It's not gonna solve anything. It's just gonna make you miserable._ ” Pikachu gripped Meowth's shoulder and gave a tight squeeze, trying to meet his eyes. Meowth didn't avert his gaze from the murderer in front of him, but Pikachu could see the tears glazing his eyes. “ _C'mon. You can do this. You can let it go.”_

 

_'No I can't. Why should I? How_ _**could** _ _I?'_

 

_“Maybe everything you loved is gone, but you can start over,”_ Chimchar suggested. “ _With us. With Ash and the others. Everything will be fine. Just give it a chance, please...”_

 

A child. That was all Chimchar was: just a little kid that didn't understand the world. He didn't understand just how unforgiving life was, what hardships awaited at every turn. He was just too young to realize that after every bad event there was, an even worse one awaited eagerly to crush and grind and spit you out with its unforgiving maw. He had no _clue._

 

But then again... maybe he did. Chimchar had survived the flames of hell sporting only a few bumps and bruises. And he didn't hate the bastard who had thrown him in there, either. Chimchar wanted to improve himself. He wanted to prove his abuser that he was worth the time of day, wanted to show him how much better he was than he was given credit for.

 

Chimchar was so much stronger than Meowth could ever dream of being. So much braver, so much more tenacious, so much more altruistic. And he was just a kid.

 

Images flashed in Meowth's head. Suddenly, he could recall all the times he had with Jessie and James in vivid detail, all the misfortune and battles and arguments. They were there for him through it all. There to support him and fight by his side. No matter what, Jessie and James were always there for him.

 

As bad as they all were, as horrid as they claimed to be, they never went out of their way to ruin someone else's life. They held grudges, sure. Tried to get revenge? So many times, Meowth lost count. But they never stooped to Rico's level. Team Rocket hated. Despised. Loathed. But never killed. At least, not the Team Rocket he was a part of.

 

Something called out from above. Everyone's attention turned to the source in an instant. Overhead flew two familiar Pokemon, Ash's Staravia and Fantina's Drifblim, circling around the scene. Staravia sung her relief upon finding whom she was looking for, then circled back to where she came with Drifblim following close behind.

 

Meowth sighed. The faintest sound of sirens blared in the distance, as if on cue. With each second, they grew closer and roared louder. Meowth lowered the gun just the smallest bit. “'Cause that ain't how my team does things,” He finally answered.

 

Within seconds, two vehicles pulled up to the edge of the forest: a police car and a fancy olden-style purple car. Once at a complete stop, a growlithe emerged from the police car, immediately charging towards the scene. Officer Jenny followed suit, whilst Ash and everyone else in the Twerp Troop filed out of the fancy car, along with Fantina.

 

“Pikachu! Chimchar! Meowth!” Ash called out.

 

Pikachu and Chimchar turned their sights to their trainer, both relieved and ecstatic to see his face. In an instant, Pikachu bolted towards Ash and leaped into his arms. Chimchar was about to mimic the mouse's actions, but stopped when he realized Meowth wasn't following him.

 

He looked back solemnly. Meowth had long since lowered the gun, but it still lingered in his grasp. Meowth watched the scene play out in front of him, watched Officer Jenny slap a pair of handcuffs around Rico's wrists. He didn't move, didn't blink. If he did, he would miss the gratifying image of his friends' murderer being carted off to prison for the rest of eternity. And Meowth refused to give up one more moment of satisfaction.

 

“Pokemon Hunter Rico,” Officer Jenny said. She pulled Rico up to his feet, Growlithe snarling in warning to the man, should he try anything funny. “My sister's been looking for you, you know. You didn't even leave a note saying when you were gonna be back.”

 

Though it appeared that Rico had regained a little bit of strength back in his legs, Jenny seemed to be doing most of the work in moving him back to the car. Ash and Brock watched, mumbling amongst themselves as they pondered whether that was the same Pokemon Hunter Rico from Hoenn, while Dawn uneasily tuned out most of their words, lost in their conversation.

 

“Pokemon poaching, bailing prison, kidnapping,” Jenny rambled on. She pushed Rico into the back seat of the police car. “I'm afraid you're not gonna see the outside of a jail cell for a pretty long time.”

 

Rico spat. “Go to hell.”

 

Jenny slammed the door shut in his face. Brushing her hands clean, she gave Growlithe a little pet, then turned to the scene in front of her. Fantina watched with alert, ready to assist in any way she could. Drifblim floated gently by her side. “Is everyone alright?” the gym leader asked. “Is anybody hurt?”

 

Brock looked at Pikachu, then Chimchar. “I think they're all okay,” he said. “Nothing a good night's rest can't fix.”

 

Ash grinned, tearing up upon hearing the words. He buried his face in Pikachu's fur, terrified even at the thought of losing his best friend. He looked over to Chimchar, who was still preoccupied with watching Meowth.

 

The cat hadn't budged an inch from where he stood, except when he turned around and watched Rico get carted off. Chimchar hesitated to approach him, but also hesitated to move to Ash's side. “ _Meowth?_ ” He gingerly called out. Meowth didn't look his way. Just continued to stare at the cop car holding his friends' murderer captive. “ _Meowth, it's okay now. We can leave... Aren't you coming?_ ”

 

Ash walked over to Chimchar's side, Pikachu mounted on his usual spot upon his trainer's shoulder. Jenny approached them cautiously, focusing solely on Meowth. “I'm gonna need you to drop that weapon you have there,” she said.

 

It was then that Ash noticed the gun Meowth still held. He gave a sharp gasp, having not realized it before.

 

Meowth didn't move, didn't respond to the order. He shifted his gaze between the nearing twerps and the cop car just behind them. His grasp on the gun tightened.

 

“Meowth,” Jenny insisted. “Let it go.”

 

What if he had made a mistake? What if he should have offed Rico when he had the chance? The thought of that bastard haunting his nightmares forever more with his hands stained with blood—Jessie and James's blood—with his sick grin twisting on his face made the cat's stomach lurch. Meowth couldn't handle it. Not after all he had been through. He couldn't live with it.

 

“Come on, Meowth,” Ash said. He was getting way too close. “Do what she says.”

 

A twig crunched under Ash's sneaker. Meowth jumped, going straight as a wooden plank, pulling the gun up to his chest. The two humans took a step back in fear that he might turn the pistol towards them. Meowth's claws scratched through the weapon's metal, his legs trembling. He went rigid.

 

“ _It's okay,_ ” Pikachu said. “ _It's safe now. He's gone._ ”

 

It would never be safe. It would never be right. Meowth's heart pounded mercilessly against his chest, bleeding from its abuse. Nothing would fix it. It wasn't okay. Nothing was.

 

He stared long and hard at the pistol. It suddenly felt so heavy in his paws. He could barely keep it steady. But he couldn't let it go. It suddenly looked so appealing. Especially the muzzle. How the succulent smell of smoke still wafted from the hole, how he could feel the warmth radiating off it. The urge to stick the alluring part right between his teeth and squeeze the trigger was almost overwhelming.

 

“Meowth, _don't._ ”

 

It was almost as if Ash had read his mind. Suddenly, he was on his knees, crouched down to Meowth's level. Pikachu had long since jumped off Ash's shoulder, watching with abject horror as he covered his mouth with his paws.

 

“Ash, stop,” Jenny warned. “Don't get too close.”

 

“It's okay. It's okay.” Ash gingerly scooted forward, ignoring Jenny's advice. Meowth flinched at the proximity he breached. “Look at me. Please... It's gonna be alright. I don't know what just happened, but... but whatever it was, you'll get through it, I know you will. You're strong. You can get through this.”

 

_'I can't. I thought I could, but I can't. I can't do this anymore...'_

 

Ash stopped in his tracks. He swung his backpack off his shoulder, then dug around inside until he found what he was looking for. He fished out Meowth's photo, the one he kept from last night's memorial. The one Meowth had dropped when Rico grabbed him. He thought he had lost it, but Ash held it out for the cat to see, plain as day.

 

“You wanted to keep this, remember?” Ash reminded. “From the memorial. Something about it made you want to keep it as a reminder of all the times you had with Jessie and James. It's right here, Meowth. You lost it for a little while, but now you got it again. Take it.”

 

The photograph was stained with the dust from the scuffle, but still gleamed like a diamond in Meowth's eyes. Jessie and James both looked at the picture taker with pride, their eyes filled with excitement and happiness and life. They smiled widely as they sung—the tune danced gleefully across Meowth's memory—all in coordination, all in unification.

 

As a team.

 

Meowth dropped his arms. Then he dropped the gun.

 

Ash exchanged the picture for the weapon, then handed it over to Jenny. The photo shook in Meowth's paws, tears splatting on its glazed surface, dispersing some of the dust.

 

Everything felt so unreal. People talked all around him, but Meowth didn't hear a word they said. The next thing he knew, they were all piled into Fantina's car, driving back towards civilization.

 

Meowth only managed a few words through the blur of a trip back. Once he spoke, everyone who hadn't been there suddenly understood what had happened in that forest.

 

“He killed 'em. He killed my friends.”

 

* * *

 

They were back in Hearthome City in a flash. Meowth barely remembered the trip, just that it was quick and quiet. After bidding adieu to Fantina, Officer Jenny requested the kids to stick around the police station for a little while so she could ask them some simple questions. Each twerp was in and out of the interrogation room in mere minutes.

 

Meowth didn't hear anything of what they had to say. He didn't listen in on Brock and Dawn's soft banter, nor did he hear Ash retell the story of his and his group's experience with the culprit back in Hoenn.

 

Instead, he watched. He watched Officer Jenny hand the murderous bastard over to some other cops, watched them carry him away—drag him, really—down the long, dark hallway, watched until he could no longer differentiate Rico's figure with anybody else's. He watched them toss him into a dank cell where the walls rotted and the floors cracked, and where the pungent smell of bodily excretions made the cops nearly gag.

 

Rico didn't deserve a cell that luxurious.

 

Dawn returned from the interrogation room, the last one to be called in. She idly pulled her hair away from her neck and huffed a sigh. “Guess I wasn't too useful. Woulda helped a bunch if I was actually there to see the guy.”

 

Ash and Brock stood up to greet her. “Don't worry.” Brock clapped a hand on her back. “You should be glad you never had to meet him. Rico was a real piece of work.”

 

“Tell me about it,” Ash said quietly. He crooked his neck to face Pikachu, then gave him a scratch under the chin. The mouse chirped in delight.

 

They all turned in unison upon seeing Officer Jenny approaching them. She gave a small salute, and the kids returned the gesture.

 

“Thanks for helping us,” Ash told her. “I don't know what I woulda done if...”

 

Ash looked to Pikachu on his shoulder, then Chimchar by his feet. His shoulders drooped; he grew increasingly uncomfortable with the millions of what-if scenarios that played on an endless loop inside his head.

 

“My pleasure, Mr. Ketchum,” Jenny replied. “Just doing my duty.”

 

Ash smiled. “So... Is it alright if we leave, now?”

 

“You kids can go right ahead.” Jenny pursed her lips in a frown. “But I'm afraid I'm gonna have to keep Meowth here for a little while longer.”

 

Upon hearing his name, Meowth perked up from the bench. Ash started, looking over to the seated cat, then back at Jenny in an instant.

 

“Keep him?” He questioned. “But why? For how long?”

 

“It depends. Right now I just need him to answer a few questions. Depending on his answers, it could be a short while or a long one.”

 

“But—” Ash stopped mid-sentence, realizing his error. Meowth had only been with them for about a week, but without the daily Team Rocket attacks, the time spent with the feline felt so much longer. For a moment, Ash had completely forgotten about the fact that Meowth was a wanted criminal.

 

“It's fine.” Meowth scooted off the bench and walked over to Officer Jenny's side. It seemed so unnatural for the group to see him that close to a law enforcer, but he didn't seem to mind. “What've I got to lose?”

 

Jenny noticed the unease plaguing Ash's face, and gave a soft, reassuring smile. “Don't worry; I don't think it'll be too long before we reach a verdict,” she said.

 

Ash nodded, then turned his attention to Meowth. “We'll... We'll wait out here, okay? We won't leave until you come back out.”

 

In truth, Ash felt terrified of the idea of leaving Meowth's side. After what happened in the forest, the trainer knew he wasn't well. He didn't know what he could do to help, but leaving him in the hands of an officer with the possibility of being locked away so close to his friends' killer definitely didn't seem like the best choice.

 

It was strange, he pondered. Ash had spent his whole journey wanting to see Team Rocket behind bars, but now, he didn't feel quite right leaving Meowth to his long-awaited fate. He didn't want to see him locked up.

 

Meowth was a victim. Not a guiltless victim, but a victim nonetheless. He and his team all were.

 

Meowth held his photograph close to his heart, as if it would somehow protect him from the impending doom that awaited him. He nodded towards Ash. “I'll see youse later, then.”

 

Meowth had caught small glimpses of the interrogation room as the door swung open and shut countless times before, but it seemed so much more confined when he actually stepped foot in it. Jenny pointed to the seat he was appointed to before taking a seat of her own. The chairs were bolted down; metal, with some lingering heat from their previous inhabitants. Meowth, knowing he would never be able to see past the table with his height, awkwardly stood on the chair instead.

 

“So, Meowth...” Jenny began. She folded her hands in front of her. “I think I have a relative understanding to what happened, but I would like it if you ran your story by me so I can fill in the blanks.”

 

“What's there to tell?” Meowth mumbled in response. “Bastard had it out for me and my team, so's he set us up to die.”

 

“And what reasons do you think he had to want to do this?”

 

“'Cause the chump got his knickers in a knot when we ruined his poison poke' poachin' back in Hoenn. Didn't matter to him that we lost _our_ best pokemon doin' it. Guess that wasn't enough for him.”

 

Jenny pursed her lips. She flipped open a small notebook, then jotted something down. “And what business did you, a Team Rocket squad, have, toiling in someone else's operation? Rescuing caged pokemon doesn't seem like your forte.”

 

“We was plannin' to keep 'em for ourselves when he attacked us. This is all old news, lady. Not much to tinker your brain with.”

 

The cop huffed. “Fine. You align yourself with the Team Rocket operation in Kanto, correct?”

 

Meowth frowned. “Not anymore.”

 

“Any is there a reason why you don't?”

 

“'Cause I got no reason to stick around no more. My team's gone...”

 

Another scribble in her notebook. “How did you convince them to let you go scott-free?”

 

“They, uh...” Meowth scratched the back of his head sheepishly. “They don't know yet.”

 

“So you've gone AWOL.”

 

“I didn't go AWOL, I just—” He cut himself off, realizing she was right. “Okay, maybe I did.”

 

“Well then...” Jenny readjusted her position in her seat, sitting up with her back straighter. She readied her pen. Meowth didn't like the determined fire she bore in her eyes. “I'm afraid you'll still have to atone for all the crimes you've committed in the past few years, but there's a chance you can reduce your sentence if you give us the information we need.”

 

“Ain't happenin', sister.” Meowth leaned his back against the chair, resting his eyes. “These lips are sealed.”

 

“But you have viable information we could use. And you said it, yourself—you don't associate with Team Rocket anymore. What reason would you have to keep quiet?”

 

“'Cause I still respect the Boss. I ain't gonna throw away all he's worked for, just so's I can help you coppers.” He waggled his finger. “I ain't no saint, ya know.”

 

“If Team Rocket's still out on the streets, they'll continue to pilfer all the pokemon they can get their hands on—even you.” Jenny readjusted her cap, then pushed a stray lock of teal hair behind her ear. “Doesn't that bother you?”

 

“Not one bit.”

 

“You're lying. They won't give you a free pass just because you've worked for them. They'll force you into labor against your will; they won't care about who you've lost. All Team Rocket cares about is the profit they earn from poaching pokemon.”

 

“You don't know that.” Meowth folded his arms. “Besides: they'd probably off me for leavin', soon as they see my mug again.”

 

“And that doesn't bother you?”

 

He took a moment to stop and think. Finally, he mumbled, “No. It don't.”

 

Jenny frowned. “I don't understand you. Don't you feel even a _little_ bit guilty for all the bad things your team has done? Don't you want to atone for your crimes?”

 

“Lady,” Meowth sighed, “I ain't got _that_ much of a guilty conscience, yet. I've apologized more times in two days than I ever have in my entire life. I got enough sorry sob stories to last me a lifetime.”

 

“You do understand that withholding information from a law official is a crime, right? You're gonna be stuck here for a pretty long time if you keep up this—”

 

The door creaked open, grabbing the two's attention. A young cop with the air of a rookie poked his head through the doorway, looking quite uneasy about showing up in the middle of an important looking interrogation. “Uh, Chief?” he started, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry to interrupt, but... Some guy in a suit just came in with some legal documents and a shitload of money for his release,” he motioned to Meowth with his head, “into his custody.”

 

Jenny sat up, her eyes wide. “What? Is he a lawyer or something? I can't just release him now.”

 

“Not sure, but we looked at all his paperwork, and it all checks out. Sorry Chief... We gotta let him go.”

 

Jenny sighed, then flipped her notebook closed. She turned to Meowth, agitation clear on her face. “Well, it appears that you're free to go. If you'd be so kind as to let Mr. Bennett escort you out...”

 

“No need.” Meowth hopped off the chair. “I got people already waitin' for me.”

 

He began to walk out of the door that Bennett held open so generously, when he stopped in his tracks. Meowth frowned, hating to request anything from a law enforcer, but felt the hounding need to allow for one exception.

 

“Do me a favor, copper,” he breathed out. His body tensed just at the mere thought of his wish. “Don't let that guy out. Ever. Make sure he don't see the light a' day 'til he ain't nothin' but skin and bones... He don't deserve it...”

 

Jenny raised a brow, but nodded. “With his track record, I can assure you that Rico's gonna be here for a long time,” she informed.

 

A small smile of relief tugged at the corners of the cat's mouth. He bowed his head in farewell, then made his way back to the lobby.

 

The twerps weren't too far away from where they said they would be. They had only moved closer to the exit, perhaps pondering the idea of one of them fetching some lunch while they waited. Chimchar was the first to notice Meowth's arrival, his cry of joy alerting the rest.

 

“Meowth, you're okay!” Ash called. He, Chimchar, and Pikachu ran to meet him, but someone blocked their way.

 

A man in his mid-twenties, fancy black suit, sunglasses for added 'official' effect. He cleared his throat, paying the kids no mind. “I see you've made it out of there in one piece,” he said.

 

“'Course I did,” Meowth replied. “Thanks for springin' me, Pinkard. That was awful generous a' you.”

 

He had recognized him the second he had opened his mouth. Pinkard flushed in embarrassment, flustered that the cat had seen through his disguise so easily. But he quickly calmed himself.

 

“Meowth...” Ash piped up uncertainly. “Who's this guy?”

 

Pinkard shuffled in his spot, clearly anxious to get moving. “Why don't we talk outside? It's... less stuffy out there,” he suggested.

 

“Sure thing, Pinky.”

 

The sun's rays blared once they reached the outside, the warmth a welcomed changed from the overly air-conditioned station. Pinkard continued on ahead for a considerable amount of distance, checking constantly to make sure that Meowth hadn't ditched him. Once they were out of the police's range, he stopped.

 

“How'd ya know where ta find me, Pinky?” Meowth asked. “Last I heard, you was smokin' in an alley, yabbin' to your friend that you couldn't find me.”

 

“How'd you even know that—?” Pinkard squacked, but regained his composure. “If you must know, I heard them talking over the radio about a talking meowth being brought in to custody. Figured it had to be you.”

 

“So who're you supposed to be, anyway? Meowth doesn't have any lawyers,” Dawn questioned. Meowth frowned at the comment.

 

“Who I am is none of you kids' concern,” Pinkard replied. “I'm just here for the cat. Keep out of the way, and there won't have to be any trouble.”

 

“Spit it—you're from Team Rocket, aren't you?” Dawn balled her hands up, ready for a fight: a pokemon or physical fight, whichever the occasion called for. Her protective attitude caught Meowth and the others by surprise. “What do you want with him?”

 

“Yeah, do tell. Why'd ya spring me?” Meowth asked.

 

Pinkard scowled at the kids, obviously ill-prepared to the hassle of dealing with overprotective trainers, but straightened up. Something in his eyes shone of fear. Meowth didn't like it.

 

“Because Mister Sakaki has requested a meeting with you... in person.”

 

His fur stood on end, his bones rigid. A part of him wanted to breathe, but he knew the only air he would take in would either stay choked in his throat or result in a piercing gasp. He managed to swallow.

 

“Th-the... b-boss wants to... see me.... _personally_?” Meowth forced out, his face visibly paling.

 

“That's right. I've got a plane waiting just outside of town, ready to take us there.”

 

This was it. The end of the line. No way out of this mess. Giovanni had found him. Set his sights on him, wanted nothing else but him—most likely tied to a stake with a spitting fire burning at his feet. It was bad enough that he had been looking for Meowth, but to request an audience with him personally? His fate was sealed. No way out.

 

He could still run. Meowth figured if he could ditch the bozo sent to retrieve him, he could make a break for it and escape.

 

But Giovanni never let up.

 

Those who he wanted to see showed up in neatly wrapped packages at his doorstep, never to be heard from again. It didn't matter how far they ran, how well-disguised they were.

 

No one escaped the boss.

 

It was just a matter of how long you could last before your time was up.

 

“Well, he's not coming with you.”

 

Ash's voice broke Meowth out of his thoughts, and he was shocked to see the boy hovering just behind him, towering protectively over him. Pikachu and Chimchar moved to his sides, prepped for a fight. A quick glance back confirmed Dawn and Brock both clutching pokeballs in their hands as well.

 

“Meowth's staying here, with us,” Ash declared. “You can go tell your boss to find some other lackey to terrorize.”

 

“This doesn't concern you, so stay out of it!” Pinkard growled. His hands groped nervously around for a pokeball of his own. Then, realizing he had none with him, he took a step back.

 

“You're threatening our friend,” Brock put in. “So I think this _is_ our concern.”

 

“And your odds _really_ aren't too good, considering it's four against one,” Dawn said. “You're call.”

 

Chimchar shouted and flailed about, the heat excreting from his body positively smoldering. Pikachu growled, electric sparks flying from his cheeks. They both stayed close to Meowth, but slowly inched closer and closer to Pinkard, just waiting for a command.

 

They were all here for him. Ready to protect him from any harm that he could possibly be in danger of. Meowth felt his cheeks warm and his eyes well up with tears.

 

They were his friends. Even through all the hell he put them through, they were there for him.

 

He knew the twerps could and gladly would scare off Pinkard, and quite possibly any other field agent Team Rocket sent his way. But he knew things could only go so pleasantly before the organization became violent. He knew Team Rocket wouldn't hesitate to take out a few kids and their pokemon just to get what they wanted.

 

The thought of losing any more of his friends terrified him.

 

And so he knew what he had to do.

 

“Stop.” Meowth's mumble was barely above a whisper. But everyone relaxed their tense positions, turning to him with confused gazes. He sighed. “...I'll go.”

 

The others were speechless. Chimchar clasped his paws over his mouth in shock, Pikachu furrowed his brow. “ _Wha—no--y-you can't!_ ” the mouse sputtered out.

 

“You can't, Meowth!” Ash repeated unknowingly.

 

Meowth turned to the others, his figure tense. “None a' youse get it: Giovanni ain't gonna stop 'til he finds me. He'll just keep sendin' more goons, no matter how many you send packin'. Pinky's a chump—” Pinkard made a face, “—but real soon, they're gonna send out guys who're actually competent. And real nasty.” He sighed, hating to say this. “They won't think twice about attackin', just 'cause you're just a bunch a' twerpy kids. I _gotta_ go.”

 

“But...” Meowth could see Ash's lip quivering. “What'll they do to you? What if they hurt you?”

 

“There ain't nothin' they could do to me that'll hurt more than what I've already been through.” In the dread and fear that drenched him upon hearing his fate, Meowth had forgotten that just a mere hour ago, he openly welcomed death's cold embrace. “I'll be...”

 

He couldn't say fine. Chances were that this would be the last time he would see any of them.

 

Meowth sighed. “Just, don't worry 'bout me. It's better off this way, trust me.” He never thought he'd say something like that and actually mean it. The words felt alien coming from his mouth.

 

Everyone stayed silent, unable to think of a reason to rebut his argument. They knew he was committed, and that there would be no changing his mind, no matter how hard they tried.

 

Chimchar was the first to hug him, followed swiftly by Pikachu. Meowth could feel their teary eyes staining his fur, Chimchar's sobs versus Pikachu's subdued hiccups. It didn't take long for Ash to scoop them all up in a massive hug, with Dawn and Brock joining in. Meowth clutched at whoever he could fit his arms around, a genuine sorrow tugging at his heart.

 

He hated to leave them. Especially since he found himself caring so much about them.

 

They put him down. Ash wiped his eyes, putting on a determined face to mask his overwhelming heartbreak. “W-we'll wait for you, okay?” he said. “We won't leave Hearthome until you come back. You'll know where to find us.”

 

A feeling of remorse filled the cat. He didn't want to say that there was a great chance that they would be waiting a rather long time. “I wouldn't get my hopes up,” he mumbled. He could tell that his suggestion struck a chord by they way Ash's face scrunched up. “Just worry about that pokemon league a' yours. I can take care of myself.”

 

Pinkard sighed, his foot tired of tapping endlessly on the cement. “Are you good? Can we leave, now?”

 

Meowth nodded. He took a small step towards Pinkard, then another, and another. Before he reached him, he turned back to face the twerps. “Hey.” He clutched his photo close, right against his heart. “Thanks. For everything.”

 

And without another word, the two Rockets found the road to Pinkard's alleged ride, and followed it.

 


	7. The Roses

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's the end! I can't believe we're here! Well, I mean, I can, but it's just so weirddddd
> 
> There's no episodes you need to watch to understand this, but there are a couple instances in which A Scare in the Air (EP082), the Lugia arc in Master Quest, A Ruin with A View (AG002), and the entire Kyogre/Groudon fiasco in Advanced Battle are mentioned. If you feel the need to refamiliarize yourself with the episodes, just focus on the Team Rocket/Giovanni segments of each, and that should be just fine
> 
> Anyways, if you've made it this far, thank you so much for reading!!! I know this journey's been one hell of a heart breaker, but y'all are absolute troopers, and you made it through!! I honestly didn't think this would get nearly as much attention as it did--and I know it's not a lot, but it's a hellll of a lot more than I was expecting lol So thank you so so so much for all your time reading and reviewing, it means a lot to me ^^
> 
> I swear the next fanfic I upload will be a hellllllll of a lot happier (I swear-really, the first chapter's literally just the characters picking FLOWERS). Not too happy, cause apparently I can't do that, but happier.
> 
> But until then, I hope you enjoy the ending ^^

Meowth barely remembered the plane ride to Kanto. Only that the air smelled of sweet cigar smoke and a strong bourbon aftertaste. Before he knew it, he and Pinkard were inside of Team Rocket Headquarters, the dim walls and crimson carpet welcoming him back with all the friendliness of a slaughter house.

 

He knew his way to Giovanni's office by heart. But Pinkard insisted on leading the way, probably to insure that the boss saw that he had done his job like he was asked.

 

They stepped inside the elevator, Pinkard punching in the key to the top floor. He exhaled a breath he had been holding in, wringing his sweaty palms.

 

“Somethin' botherin' you?” Meowth asked, the first exchange of words between the two since they left the twerps. At the sound of his voice, Pinkard straightened up immediately.

 

“N-no. No, why would anything be bothering me?” He cleared his throat nervously.

 

“Good question. Seein' as how _I'm_ the one who's gonna be disciplined.”

 

Pinkard's shoulders slumped. He took a quick look around the elevator, suspicious that someone could be listening in. “I just... uhmm....” He started in a whisper. He sighed. “I just get real nervous around the boss, that's all. It was hard to track you down. I'm just worried he might get mad at me for taking so long.”

 

“Egh, don't give yourself so much credit; you didn't screw up that bad.” With each level of the building they passed, a chime filled the empty air. “I'm the one who should be the cat on hot bricks.”

 

“So... Why aren't you? You seem so... calm.”

 

Meowth turned the photograph between his fingers, the LED lights overhead dancing on its surface. “I guess... 'Cause I ain't got nothin' to lose.”

 

The elevator climbed its final rung before slowing to a halt. With a ding, the doors opened. Both Rockets took a breath before exiting.

 

Long as the ride to the top of the building was, the hall to Giovanni's office was even longer. Everything seemed so clean, so pristine. Vases glittered in the light, the plants living within sweetening the air with a pleasant aroma. The top floor felt almost like a hotel, welcoming with its overly decorative wallpaper and millions of pokecoins' worth of furnished carpeting.

 

Meowth supposed the walk to the executioner's chamber would be a pleasant last thought to live with.

 

Rocket grunts walked past them, each with their own agenda to adhere to. Some stared when they caught sight of the cat, others even took to mumbling amongst themselves. Meowth didn't need to hear that they were saying to know all the awful things that came to mind when they saw him.

 

Among those who they past were two familiar figures, each seated on a leathery couch with a whiskey glass in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

 

“Well, if it isn't the village freak show.” Cassidy always knew how to make a first greeting. It was one of the things Jessie always hated about her; always starting off their conversation with some snide-ass remark, as she always put it.

 

Meowth leered. “Nice to see you, too.”

 

“So rumor has it that ol' Jessie and her boy toy kicked the bucket—that true?” She puffed at her cigarette, blowing smoke in Meowth's face. His scowl through the cloud told her everything she needed to know. “Gotta say, I'm kinda disappointed.”

 

“That's uncharacteristically sympathetic a' you.”

 

“Oh don't get the wrong idea.” She raised her glass to take a sip, the chunks of ice clinking against the crystal. “I just always thought all three of you would die together in some freak accident. No doubt because of something stupid you did. Like flying that hideous balloon of yours into the ocean, or getting disintegrated by a Lugia's Hyper Beam. Or maybe even the boss offing you three, himself, for all the wasted time you put him through.”

 

“Youse better shut your yap!” Meowth growled, balling his paws into tight fists. It was just like Cassidy to make Jessie and James's deaths into nothing more than a joke. She didn't care about any of the three, whether they lived or died or succeeded or failed. Her finest pleasure in life was simply to watch them fumble around and make fools out of themselves. Because that's all they were to her—a simple joke.

 

Meowth had never really understood why Jessie hated her as much as she did. He supposed he didn't get it because he had never felt personally attacked by her. It was always Jessie who was getting the full blunt force of Cassidy's insults, and he and James took the splash damage. But now that Meowth experienced it firsthand, he finally shared that sense of total disgust and resentment for the blonde.

 

“Calm down, calm down. She doesn't mean it,” Cassidy's partner—what was his name? Bort? Biffalo?—reassured. “She's just upset that she won't be able to get into fights with Jessie anymore, that's all.”

 

“That's a lie, and you know it.” Cassidy downed the rest of her drink, then handed the empty glass to Bonk.

 

“You say that...” He placed the glass down on the coffee table in front of him, along with his own drink. “... But it's sure gonna be different without the whole trio of losers bothering us anymore. You know that.”

 

“Don't get soft on me, Barf.”

 

An agitated sigh escaped through his teeth. “I'm just saying not gonna be the same without them screwing up everything. Say what you want about them all, but I think everything's gonna change, now that they're gone.”

 

“Yeah. For the better.”

 

Meowth tapped his toes on the carpet, his arms folded across his chest. “You two chumps done naggin'? I gots somewhere to be, ya know.”

 

Botch put his hands in the air in a shrug. He reclined into the cushioned couch, Cassidy soon mirroring his actions. “Go ahead,” she said. “There's no need for you to be here anymore.”

 

With a huff, Meowth strutted away from the two, Pinkard following close behind.

 

“We're gonna miss 'em, you know,” he heard Bill call out after him. “You always fucked everything up, but at least you were always worth a laugh.”

 

Meowth didn't really know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult. Deciding it didn't really matter—how much could it? It came from Bitch, after all—he shook his head and continued walking, never looking back.

 

The double doors were massive. Beautifully carved mahogany was the only barrier between the two Rockets and the boss's office. A shaky breath escaped Meowth, whatever confidence he once had, gone. The air was deathly quiet. If Giovanni was behind those doors, they'd never know it just by listening.

 

Meowth clutched his photo close, the flimsy material flapping around with every tremble of his paw. He couldn't help but think of all the times he had so confidently marched through these doors with Jessie and James by his side, even when they all knew they were in for one hell of a scolding. Giovanni was terrifying, even without a reason to be upset at them. But at least with his friends there, it didn't seem so bad.

 

_'Wish youse two were here... It don't feel right without you with me.'_

 

Pinkard cautiously placed his hand on the polished door knob, awaiting Meowth's approval to open it. He looked just as anxious as the cat felt.

 

Meowth pressed his lips together in a firm line, squaring his shoulders. Well... it was now or never. No going back. He nodded to Pinkard, and with a hefty pull, the doors opened.

 

The room hadn't changed since the last time he had visited. Dusk's glorious light peered through the one-way windows, illuminating the room with a tender, yet ominous glow. The plush carpeting, the lush foliage, and the imposing office desk all glimmered, the harsh light casting dark shadows. About the only change Meowth could see that had been made to the room was the extra vacant chair sitting across the desk.

 

Giovanni sat patiently, a silhouette of a shadow obscuring his features. Meowth and Pinkard stepped in, the latter getting hung up on whether he should close the doors behind them or not. He decided to leave them half open once he realized Giovanni wasn't planning on speaking until he did.

 

“M-mister Sakaki, Sir,” Pinkard stammered out. He bowed his head. “I've found and retrieved Meowth—just like you ordered.”

 

The boss tipped his head down slightly, just enough so that a generous ray of sunlight splashed onto his face. “So I see,” he replied.

 

Now it was his turn to talk. Meowth gulped. “Greetings, Sir...” He began to gnaw on his lip.

 

At the sound of his voice, an unmistakable and unwelcomed pair of glowing red eyes peered over the desk. Meowth started, his nervousness flipping to a feeling of aggravation at the sight.

 

Giovanni slid his hand down Persian's back. Then again. And again. Persian purred affectionately into his master's hand, sneaking snide glances at Meowth as he did. “ _So... You came back,”_ the cat sneered. “ _I thought I smelled a walking sewage dump come in.”_

 

“ _Can it_ , rat,” Meowth growled under his breath. Somehow he hoped his insult would make it to Persian's ears without ever gracing Giovanni's. Unfortunately, he could never be so lucky.

 

Meowth could hear the pounding of a nail.

 

Giovanni looked to Meowth, then to Persian. His brow furrowed just the slightest bit, barely noticeable, before he turned his attention to the jumbling pile of nerves that was Pinkard.

 

“Remind me your name again,” he commanded.

 

“Brian P-Pinkard, Sir. I'm from the C Division of field agents,” Pinkard sputtered out.

 

“Mm.”

 

Persian let out a small, raspy chuckle, watching the two scrutinized Rockets with glee. “ _Something tells me this won't end very pretty for you.”_ He grinned, showing off his glimmering rows of teeth. “ _Are you scared?”_

 

Meowth balled his fists, but didn't say anything.

 

“ _You should be.”_

 

Even when Meowth wasn't pining for Persian's stolen position of Top Cat, he still hated him. He hated the bastard's smug face, his regal nature primping him up like some sort of spoiled princess. A thief—that's all he was. And not a very good one, either. Meowth never knew what Giovanni saw in that mangy alley cat. Why, if he could battle Persian, Meowth was sure he could probably come out on top—

 

“Do me a favor, Mister Pinkard, and take Persian out for a walk.”

 

All eyes bounced up to the boss. Persian just about jumped out of his lap. He swiveled his head to meet the boss, meowing in protest.

 

“Yes, Sir.” Pinkard stood to attention. He looked to Meowth for reassurance, but didn't seem to find whatever it was he was looking for in the cat. He scratched awkwardly at the back of his head. “Let's go, Persian,” he called over.

 

Persian looked to Giovanni one last time, hopeful that maybe his master had changed his mind in the past ten seconds. But the boss gave him _the look_ and waved him off with a small flick of the wrist. Frowning, the large cat sprung off his lap, slinking warily to Pinkard's side.

 

He passed Meowth by with a snide glance, flicking his tail into his face. Meowth knew better than to retaliate right in front of the boss, though. He thought himself to have matured just a bit through the past week with the twerps. He was mature enough not to make any degrading comments. He was mature enough not to sink his teeth into his tail. He was not mature enough to resist sticking his tongue out at Persian as he passed.

 

Soon Pinkard and Persian were gone, the door shut behind them. And now only Meowth and Giovanni remained. Without the somewhat comforting presence of Pinkard, Meowth felt his insides churning with anxiety.

 

Giovanni motioned to the chair in front of him. “Please... Take a seat.”

 

“If it's all the same to you, Sir, I think I'd rather stand.”

 

The boss rose a brow. And that was all the incentive Meowth needed to scurry his keester on over to that leathery chair.

 

Giovanni swiveled in his seat in order to watch the blazing sun begin its descent. Meowth waited warily, unable to keep from twitching and fidgeting. He joined in with watching the sunset, feeling that that was what Giovanni had expected him to do. A whole minute passed before Giovanni decided to speak; Meowth counted each agonizing second.

 

“Your phone call left us very little to go on,” he said.

 

There went another nail.

 

The cat went rigid in his seat. “O-oh... uhm, sorry 'bout that...”

 

In truth, he almost forgot that he made a phone call to to headquarters to begin with. All he could really recall about the experience was how distraught he had been.

 

“No matter. We heard the news of your team's deaths not long after, over the police scanners.” Giovanni pulled out a bottle of bourbon and two glasses, filling each half way. He placed one on Meowth's side of the table, which he quickly and graciously scooped up. “What was it that happened, exactly?”

 

Meowth sighed, staring into his drink for a second. He looked back almost immediately, fearing the lack of eye contact would be detrimental to his health. “A pokemon poacher we toyed around with back in Hoenn set a pack a' Ursaring on us. And we escaped, but... I was the only one who made it...”

 

“And where is this poacher now?”

 

“Rottin' in prison, just like he should be.”

 

Giovanni sipped casually at his drink. “Interesting...”

 

“I had a chance to off him, myself... I had a gun right at his head...” Meowth clenched his fist around the glass. “But I couldn't do it.”

 

Another. And another. He felt the nails pierce his skin, the deeper into the rosewood they were hammered in.

 

Perhaps telling Giovanni about his moment of weakness was a mistake. It didn't do anything for the boss except show him just how much of a coward his employee was. But Giovanni, scrupulous and authoritative as he was, was probably the only source of companionship Meowth had left in Team Rocket. If he couldn't confide in him, who could he?

 

“I'm surprised, really.” Giovanni's voice brought Meowth out of his thoughts. “For you three to fall at the hands of some lowly poacher. Whereas I had been trying to be rid of you fools for years.”

 

“Huh?”

 

Giovanni didn't even blink at Meowth's squawk of dumbfounderment. “After you tanked my finances and depleted all my resources with your worthless contraptions, I grew tired of seeing you blunder about with _my_ money,” he explained. “So I assigned you to the Team Rocket Blimp Brigade. With blimps that hadn't been maintained or repaired in years. Flying death traps, every single one of them. I thought for sure you three would sink so far into the ocean on that heap of junk that even the magikarp wouldn't be able to find you. And yet... you survived.

 

“I hoped Team Aqua and Team Magma would be enough to dispose of you. As long as you got me the information I needed of them and stayed out of my hair, I didn't care what they did to you. And yet...” Meowth grew uncomfortable with the amount of dark lines creasing Giovanni's perfectly sculpted face. “You _survived._ ”

 

“And again, against Kyogre and Groudon. Two of the most powerful and most dangerous pokemon in the world. Both pitted against you. Surely, I thought, you wouldn't have stood a chance.”

 

Meowth braced for the possibility of an explosion, feeling this trip down memory lane was a lot more stressful for Giovanni than it was for him. But the boss's expression gave way to one of amusement.

 

“And yet... you survived. All _three_ of you, no less. You've failed so many times, and yet you never appear any worse for wear. After a while, I found myself actually _enjoying_ watching you defy death. It was... invigorating to see how much you imbeciles could live through.”

 

Meowth managed to crack a smile on his petrified face. It was news to him, and probably to Jessie and James as well, had they been there, that Giovanni had been so adamant about them walking the tightrope of death. But now that Giovanni was spelling it out for him, Meowth supposed the clues had always been there. He had just been too awestruck by the boss to notice them.

 

“I must say, I'm... disappointed by this turn of events,” Giovanni sighed. “Such a waste to see such a seemingly invincible group brought down by something so unremarkable.”

 

Meowth only nodded. The untouched liquid in his glass quivered at his tenseness. He lowered his gaze down to his photograph, looking for some sort of solace in his friends' preserved faces. Giovanni frowned.

 

“You've been awfully quiet since you've come in,” He pointed out. “Not the usual chatterbox I'm used to dealing with. How are you handling all of this?”

 

The cat wondered if Giovanni actually cared about the emotional turmoil he was trapped in, or if he just got some sadistic glee over making his victims suffer before the inevitable. A part of him yearned for the former. A large part.

 

“I... It just...”

 

Meowth found the words stuck in his throat, unable to form on his lips for the longest time. His mind flashed to all the times he had sobbed over Jessie and James's departure over the past week. His initial reaction to their deaths, telling the twerps the story of what happened and all the fights he had with them, his breakdown over losing his favorite star in the sky—all of it. Each memory seared in his brain like molten candle wax.

 

“It sucks. Everythin' just sucks. I _hate_ it. I hate wakin' up every mornin', knowin' my pals ain't gonna be there. I hate that I got to live, when they never stood a chance. I hate that I'm such a _coward_ and I couldn't _shoot_ the son of a bitch who took 'em from me! I hate... I hate bein' alone...”

 

Silence drifted through the air. Meowth felt his face grow hot, but refused to cry in front of the boss, even though the urge nagged at him endlessly. He downed his drink in one gulp in an attempt to ease his restlessness, the alcohol burning his throat on the way down.

 

Why was Giovanni taking his sweet-ass time in offing him? Did he really want the cat to suffer that much?

 

“I see.” Giovanni took to tapping his fingers on the desk. “Though it pains me to say, the organization cannot cease to function just because of a few lost members. We must keep moving forward, no matter what obstacles we may face.”

 

“That's the thing... Giovanni—Sir, I...” Meowth gulped. Now was the moment of truth. Giovanni cocked a brow. “I can't work here no more.”

 

The boss didn't bat an eye. Didn't question, didn't shout, didn't show any emotion. His stone face hid whatever he might have been thinking. And that, somehow, managed to scare Meowth more than any scolding ever could.

 

“I'm sorry, I just... I can't go on like nothin' happened. Maybe I coulda done it a long time ago, but I've been through so much with Jess and Jim that...” Meowth glanced at his photo, carefully brushing his finger along his friends' images. “I can't even imagine stayin' here without 'em. Not with another team. Not with anyone.”

 

Giovanni downed the rest of his drink, then placed the empty glass onto the desk. “So this is your resignation?” he reiterated.

 

Meowth nodded hesitantly.

 

“And... Are you sure there is nothing I could offer you to convince you, otherwise?”

 

A shake of his head. “No, Sir.”

 

“Not even if I offered you the chance to stay here in my office with me?”

 

Giovanni certainly knew how to bargain. Meowth flinched, his heart clenching. Would Giovanni actually have him back? Restore his position as Top Cat? Surely, he jested. Giovanni couldn't possibly be considering it, could he?

 

The simple goal of returning to his pampered, carefree life atop of the boss's lap beckoned him with a sultry voice. It was what he had lived and breathed for years. Even if Giovanni had no intention of actually keeping his word, Meowth supposed that simply continuing to serve under him would prove fulfilling. After all, Giovanni _was_ his favorite human. The one that, if Meowth ever _had_ to choose, he would allow to capture him and train him as his own pokemon. Surely a life serving for the boss couldn't be that painful.

 

Then why did he feel so empty when he imagined it?

 

Meowth sighed, closing his eyes. When he finally felt ready to speak his answer, he opened them again.

 

“No, Sir.”

 

He felt a sense of remorse the moment the words left his mouth. That was it.

 

The final nail in the coffin.

 

Nothing, Meowth knew, could keep Giovanni from doing whatever he wanted to the cat now.

 

The boss hummed, idly tracing his finger over the rim of his disregarded glass. Meowth tried to mirror his action with his own crystal cup, but was frozen stiff in his spot. His eyes dare not dart away.

 

Finally, Giovanni let out a small sigh, shaking his head. “I supposed it would have to come to this.” One ring around the glass, two, three. “I should have expected it long ago. You always had too much of a heart to work for an organization like this. Such morality is a detriment.”

 

“I understand,” Meowth affirmed. “I'm ready for any punishment you got for me...”

 

He bowed his head low, waiting patiently for the sharp, quick pain of a bullet piercing his brain.

 

“That won't be necessary.”

 

The cat looked up in an instant, an inquisitive look implanted firmly on his features. “W-what?”

 

“You're free to go. Financially, your departure would be nothing but a blessing. The only thing Team Rocket would lose along with you are a few good laughs and stories to tell,” Giovanni explained. “There's no danger in setting you free... _Is there?”_

 

Meowth vigorously shook his head. “N-no, Sir! My lips are sealed!” His voice was clouded by the whirlpool of emotions toiling within him. He grew teary eyed once again, but managed to keep it together.

 

He couldn't believe what he had just heard.

 

Giovanni was letting him go.

 

Setting him _free._

 

All at once, the nails lifted away.

 

“I should certainly hope so. Otherwise, I'll know where to find you.” Meowth gulped. But Giovanni merely grinned. “I can't believe I'm saying this... but I'll miss having you and your team around. Team Rocket will certainly never be the same.”

 

Meowth nodded. Returning the empty glass to the table, he began to hop down from the chair. “Thank you, Sir,” he said. He couldn't keep the sheer joy from reflecting in his voice. “It's been a real blast workin' for youse. I-I ain't gonna forget a thing you've done for me!”

 

He backed up one step, then another, until he was nearly out of the door. When Giovanni said nothing, he turned to leave, taking his silence as permission to go.

 

“Would you like to see them?”

 

Meowth stopped. He turned back, questionable, but soon realizing what Giovanni meant. A part of him wasn't sure if he was ready just yet, but another, bigger part needed that long-awaited closure.

 

“Yes, please.”

 

* * *

 

They passed by the training facility on their way to the Team Rocket cemetery. New Rocket members of all ages, genders, and sizes practiced battling with their newly assigned pokemon, some already with partners and others without. Giovanni noticed Meowth's interest in the new recruits, and stopped in his path to watch as well.

 

“Most of them came in just a few months ago. Apparently, after you took down Team Aqua and Team Magma, a few rogue members decided to switch sides,” he explained. “I doubt any of them will last.”

 

Meowth half chuckled, unsure if Giovanni intended for the remark to be a joke or not. The attacks of the pokemon were loud: smashing concrete, fierce electrical storms, piercing shrieks. Meowth tensed, growing the slightest bit uncomfortable.

 

There were no people Meowth could identify. Even the former Aqua and Magma members were lost in the crowd to him. But in the distance, he spotted a familiar blue blob engaging in a passionate, one-sided argument with his assigned trainer. His eyes widened at the realization.

 

“Wobbuffet's here?!” Meowth nearly shrieked.

 

“Wobbuffet, as well as the rest of Jessie and James's pokemon,” Giovanni replied. “We found them confiscated in the police station when we recovered their bodies. They were all in rough form; yesterday was their first day back in training.”

 

“Trainin'?” Meowth tilted his head. “But... they're Jess and Jim's pokemon! Shouldn't they be...?”

 

“Set free?”

 

“W-well, yeah. I don't think they're gonna take new trainers too well. They deserve better—”

 

“We steal thousands of pokemon from trainers every day, and recondition them to work for our purposes. Jessie and James's pokemon will be no different, no matter their relation to you _or_ your partners.” Giovanni had a noticeable fury in his eyes. Meowth feared what would come next if he didn't keep his mouth shut. “Besides... I believe I've been _more_ than generous to you today.”

 

Meowth could hear the warning in his voice. The danger that said, 'If you continue this useless banter any longer, _you_ will be reconditioned.' He swallowed. “You have, Sir...”

 

He gazed longingly across the fields of concrete, right at Wobbuffet. Not too far over, Meowth spotted Seviper with a different trainer, with the same, albeit much more violent, despondence as the blue blob. Meowth rubbed his paw against his arm, not having realized just how much he missed all of them. Wobbuffet, Seviper, Carnivine, Mime Junior, Yanmega... he yearned to see them all again.

 

It would be useless to try to convince the boss to let them go, or even to come along with him to live among the twerps. This, Meowth knew, would be the last time he would ever see them again.

 

“...Could I at least say goodbye?”

 

Giovanni nodded. “You may.”

 

The boss called for the trainees to stop in their practice for a short break so they could cross the field without harm. Somehow, he managed to locate and arrange for all the other pokemon Meowth hadn't spotted, himself, to gather up in one place.

 

Now they all joined up in a cluster, as far away from the trainers as they could get, chatting amongst themselves. They didn't notice Meowth until he reached their vicinity.

 

Mime Junior was the first to see him. _“It's Meowth!!”_ he shouted with glee before tackling the cat in a tight hug. A chorus of his name rang out from the other pokemon as they gathered around their lost friend.

 

Carnivine and Wobbuffet both embraced him, their combined weight nearly bringing him down to the ground. Yanmega and Seviper, both more of the reserved pokemon, hovered around, Seviper loosely enwrapping the group with his long, slender body.

 

“It's good to see all a' youse,” Meowth managed, feeling the huggers squeezing the air out of him. “For a while there, I thought you didn't make it.”

 

They released him eventually, but stayed close in his personal space. Mime Junior continued to hang off of Meowth, holding close as the cat casually patted his back.

 

The scars were there. Meowth remembered every single one of them taking a beating from the fight before hastily being called back to their protective pokeballs. He knew Jessie and especially James would be in tears upon seeing their pokemon in such bad shapes.

 

But they were here. Alive. They were strong enough to survive through anything. And that was all that mattered.

 

“ _Where's Jessie? Is she coming? I miss her so much,”_ Wobbuffet rambled frantically.

 

“ _I wanna see James,_ ” Mime Junior chimed in, roughly in the same urgent fashion. “ _Where's James?_ ”

 

Meowth paused. No one had bothered to let them know the bad news yet, it seemed. He hated to be the one to have to break it to them, but he supposed they would appreciate it more coming from a fellow colleague than from a total stranger. “They're, uh... Jessie and James ain't here. They... didn't make it...”

 

His tone told the group everything. Seviper spat at the ground, lashing out his bladed tail in fury. “ _I knew it,”_ he hissed.

 

“ _They... They can't be...”_ Carnivine sighed. Tears poured freely from his eyes as his form slumped. Yanmega landed on his head to try to offer some support, suppressing her own sobs. Mime Junior wept into Meowth's chest, spewing out incoherent nonsense that sounded almost like some imitation of James that he could recall.

 

Wobbuffet looked the worst out of all of them. His eyes let loose streams of tears, and he wailed desperately for Jessie. Realizing she wasn't coming no matter how loud he shouted, he collapsed to the floor, sobbing into the cement.

 

Meowth rested his paw on Wobbuffet's back, almost taken aback by how rattly the blob's body was. He didn't know what to say. Not long ago, Meowth was in the same position as they all were. He didn't think he, himself had fully recovered from the shock just yet. In fact, he knew he hadn't. Was this what he was like from an onlooker's perspective?

 

“I'm real sorry,” he mumbled. “I miss 'em too. They was just too far gone by the time we got any help.”

 

He debated on whether to tell them about the set up or not, whether to have them live out the rest of their careers in a forever unfulfilled rage like him. The possibility of them seeking revenge on their trainers' murderer on their own crossed his mind, but was cut short when Meowth realized none of them would have any clue who to look for.

 

Perhaps it was better to keep them in the dark. They didn't deserve to go through that pain.

 

 _“You're still here, though,”_ Yanmega pointed out. “ _You're staying with us, right?”_

 

Meowth shook his head. “I can't stay here no more. They're lettin' me go, so...” He cringed, embracing for the inevitable outrage. “I'm gonna go on with the twerps.”

 

Seviper snapped his head around at an alarming speed, his fangs shimmering positively dangerously as he glared directly into Meowth's soul. “ _The_ _ **twerps?**_ _You're turning traitor for the twerps?”_ he snarled.

 

“I ain't turnin' traitor! I just can't work here without Jessie and James no more!” Meowth huffed. “Believe me, I want all a' youse to come with me, but...” His eyes wandered to Giovanni, who was busy reigning terror into a few unfortunate trainees. “There ain't nothin' I can do.”

 

The band of pokemon stayed silent for a minute. The only sounds anyone made were choked sobs. Meowth lowered his head, holding his paw to Mime Junior's back as the mime continued to clutch onto his fur and weep into his chest.

 

“ _So that's it,”_ Seviper spoke up again, in a more subdued but no less vicious tone. “ _You're leaving us to rot?”_

 

“Youse ain't gonna rot. Team Rocket needs you. These bozo trainers need you.” Seviper seemed unconvinced, but maybe he was just suppressing his own grief about Jessie's demise by taking it out on whoever he thought deserved it. Not that Meowth blamed him. “They don't need me, no more.”

 

Seviper huffed, a puff of smoke exulting from his maw, but didn't press the subject. He looked away, to the wall, to the floor, to the trainees—anywhere but to his fellow pokemon.

 

Meowth felt something soft grabbing hold of his legs. He looked down, surprised to see Wobbuffet hugging desperately to his lower half, still in tears.

 

“ _Don't go,”_ he murmured. “ _Don't go, don't go, don't go...”_

 

Meowth put a paw to Wobbuffet's head in a small attempt to escape his grasp. “I gotta, Wobbs. I gotta.”

 

He hated leaving them. Jessie and James's pokemon deserved so much better than to be deserted. But there was nothing Meowth could do for them. Nothing but wish them luck in their progress to forward the Team Rocket mission.

 

“It's time to go.”

 

Meowth sighed, his eyes shutting for a moment before he resigned to his fate. Wobbuffet clutched harder to his legs, but Meowth wiggled out of his grasp. He hugged Mime Junior tightly before handing him off to the gentle, caring arms of Carnivine.

 

“Guess this is goodbye,” he said. “I'm really gonna miss you lugs.”

 

They tackled him in a hug again, this one softer, sweeter. Meowth relished in their embraces, each of their unique attributes easily identifiable. After a few moments, he felt the tough, scaly skin of Seviper wrapping around the group as well, tightening, but only as an affectionate gesture.

 

“ _Everyone's gone..._ ” Wobbuffet muttered. “ _I miss Jessie. And James too. I don't want you to leave, too.”_

 

“You'll be fine. You had the best trainers any pokemon could ever dream of havin'.” They released Meowth, scooting back to watch him go, knowing he was right. “Besides... Maybe one day, we'll find each other again.”

 

He could only hope. Of course, them finding him would probably mean that Team Rocket was attacking the twerps in hopes of stealing every last one of their pokemon. Meowth couldn't help but ponder for a second whether the goons would think twice about capturing him, the ex-member that he now was.

 

“ _Hopefully,”_ Yanmega said.

 

“ _Good luck, Meowth,_ ” Carnivine added. Mime Junior mimicked his sentiments as he waved with one hand and wiped away a tear with the other. “ _I hope everything works out for you._ ”

 

“Gee guys... You too.”

 

Meowth looked back many times to his band of fellow pokemon as Giovanni led him out of the training facility. Each time, he felt a little more guilty about leaving them behind.

 

* * *

 

They passed through a greenhouse. Meowth had no clue as to why Team Rocket had a greenhouse in the first place, save for the possibility of the organization living off the agriculture should anything happen to trap them in the building. Perhaps it was just Giovanni's personal, unmentioned hobby.

 

Whatever the case, they proceeded through meters upon meters of foliage and greenery. Meowth had to admit it was all beautiful; all the trees and ivy and flowers provided a welcomed contrast to the drab gray buildings. It almost made Headquarters feel like a loving facility, instead of the cold, desolate home for a wanted crime syndicate.

 

“You may pick some, if you like,” Giovanni said, noticing Meowth's astute interest in the beds of roses just ahead. The flowers were pink and purple and yellow and black, every color Meowth could think of. The ones that caught his attention, though, were the two biggest bushes, housing roses of crimson and cobalt.

 

“Thank you, Sir,” Meowth nodded to the boss before reaching his hands in to pluck up a single rose of each color. The thorns pricked his fingers, but he barely noticed his minuscule wounds when he had what he wanted.

 

The droplets of water coating the petals from the evening sprinklers twinkled in the dying light. The roses sparkled with a radiant glow, and smelled so pleasant. Meowth hated to steal them away from their habitats, but he knew who would appreciate them and give them a new loving place to call home.

 

Once Meowth gave notice that he was ready to continue, Giovanni led him out. They exited the greenhouse in minutes, the graveyard laying peacefully just on the other side of the door.

 

Warm rays of the sun cast across the rows upon rows of tombstones, each marked with the name of a departed Team Rocket member. Some of the more notable pokemon who had fallen in battle had their own holes to fill, most dug alongside their trainers as a sign of respect for their noble partnership and service. A member had to have served the organization well to get their own personal grave, Meowth knew. Otherwise, their other option was a shared crypt at the bottom of the lake just a mere mile away.

 

Jessie and James had made it in. By some higher power's grace, Giovanni had been merciful enough on Meowth's friends to let them reside for eternity in a peaceful grassland instead of the murky abyss.

 

The cemetery went on for longer than Meowth would have expected. New graves were dug at the far end of the yard, more and more being put in each day. The cat followed Giovanni hesitantly to the very back of where the tombstones stopped, his stomach tying itself into a nervous knot. The idea of seeing his friends' names carved in stone frightened him more than it should of, despite the fact he already knew of their fate. Meowth breathed, in and out, in... and out... until he was ready to meet by Giovanni's side in front of his friends' mounds.

 

Jessie and James lay just underneath a beautiful weeping willow that enveloped them and multiple other fallen members with its warm tendrils of leaves. He couldn't help but smile at the epitaphs given, knowing they were comedic, but nonetheless fitting. In truth, he couldn't think up any other alternative that would have done his partners justice.

 

_Jessica Miyamoto_

 

_She prepared the trouble_

 

_James Sasaki_

 

_He made the trouble double_

 

Meowth knelt down, setting each of his roses in front of the corresponding head stones. He sat in silence for a good long minute, simply taking in the sight. Giovanni stood just behind him, ready to wait for as long as it took for Meowth to say whatever he needed to say. The cat barely even noticed him there.

 

Though he couldn't see them six feet below his feet, Meowth could finally feel Jessie and James's presence with him.

 

“Hey guys.”

 

* * *

 

_'To Jess and Jim,_

 

_I know there's no way this'll make it up to your mugs to read. This whole thing was the Twerpette's idea—blame her. She thinks that writin' letters to youse every day will help me feel like your always with me, in a way. Twerpish, I know—that's what I thought. But I'll admit, she's got somethin' goin' with this. Feelin' like I'm actually talkin' to youse does feel kinda nice._

 

_I'm with the twerps now. I couldn't stay with Team Rocket no more without you guys there with me. Don't worry about your pokemon; they're all hangin' in there. I hated leavin' them at Headquarters, but there was no way I could convince the Boss to let him take 'em with me. They all miss you just as much as I do. But they're a lot stronger than me, so's I know they're gonna do just fine._

 

_The twerps are irritatin' and pushy and nosy, and just all around twerpy, but they're helpin' me get through this. I got a long way before I feel like I'm in their good graces, but they're way too forgivin' for their own good._

 

_They're good kids, though. You know that. They stayed with me even after all the shit I done to 'em, and still got the nerve to call me their friend. I don't deserve it... but the bozos are givin' it to me anyways. What a bunch of suckers._

 

_I know they woulda done the same for you. If somehow, we quit Team Rocket together while we still had the chance, they woulda accepted the two of youse with open arms. Assumin' we got off our high horseas and and apologized for what we done. Twerpette's reeeeall adamant about that._

 

_I still get nightmares about what happened. Every night, sometimes more. Sometimes I can't eat, and sometimes I just freeze up completely just 'cause I heard somethin' too loud. I hate it... I know it's gonna take time for me to recover, but it just don't seem to be getting' any better..._

 

_Tall Twerp's idea for therapy is for me to make a small memorial for you in every town we visit. So's I'm plantin' roses for you. A red and a blue one, everywhere we go. Main Twerp's pokemon are helpin' me grow 'em quicker, too, so soon the entire Sinnoh region's gonna be rollin' in roses! It's a shame you can't see 'em. Or... in person, anyways. I gots no clue what you can see in death._

 

_Speakin' of seein' things, you should see Chimchar. He's gotten so strong lately! Main Twerp's twerpiness has definitely rubbed off on him, but he's one of the nicest pokemon I ever met. Brave li'l tyke, too. He's really grown a lot since you last saw him. I know you'd both be proud, 'cause I sure as hell am._

 

_Makes me kinda wanna adopt him as my own, ha ha. I kid, I kid._

 

_And you know what? Pikachu ain't so bad when he ain't blastin' us off. Sure he's a bit sour about all the times I tried kidnappin' him and sellin' him to the boss, not to mention all the times I took all my anger out on him, but he came around. In a way, he's kinda become my best bud now. Besides you, of course—no one could ever replace you two. But he's there for me, for whatever I need. He's got my back. If there was ever a pokemon that this world truly didn't deserve, it's Pikachu._

 

_We, uh.... We went back. We went back to the forest where we all got attacked. We didn't find any ursaring around. Guess they all just moved on after... after everything. Suppose that's for the better. I wanna apologize for what happened, but, somehow I don't think they'd listen._

 

_But we went back to find the balloon. Because I wanted to find it again. I didn't feel right about leaving it somewhere all alone... So the twerps took me back there._

 

_We went through everything it had. Jessie, I kept your compact mirror. And I found your bottlecap collection, too James—I'm keepin' it, too. I just gotta have some useless junk to remember you by, you know? Somethin' that I can always keep with me. And now that the twerps bought me a backpack, I can carry stuff without havin' to haul it around!_

 

_We sold all the disguises. I hated seein' 'em go. We had memories with each and every one of 'em, so it hurt to let go of 'em. Felt like a part of me went away with each one I saw disappear. But since we ain't usin' 'em no more, might as well see 'em go off to a good home._

 

_But I couldn't sell the balloon. That thing was our home. It was ratty, and tattered, and it's got so many stitched up holes, I'm shocked it lasted as long as it did. I doubt anyone would've wanted it besides us. And even if someone did, I can't stand the idea of our home in someone else's possession._

 

_So we burned it._

 

_Now it's gone, along with you. I doubt there's such thing as a balloon heaven, but it's up there now, just waitin' to service youse two._

 

_I miss you... There ain't a day that goes by that I don't think about youse. There's so much I wanna tell you to your face, but you ain't gonna hear it. Guess this is the closest I'm ever gonna get._

 

_It ain't the same without you. I just keep thinkin', what if I was the one who kicked the bucket instead of you, or what if youse two had made it? I hate not havin' you here with me. It's like a whole chunk of my life got torn away from me and thrown into the abyss. It ain't right. Maybe you deserved a lot of the shit we got ourselves into, and me, too. But you never deserved to go out like this..._

 

_You was the best thing that ever happened to me. I'd give my life just to see your mugs again, even just for a minute. You made me feel like I was worth givin' a crap over, like I wasn't just some creepy mutant freak for scientists to poke and prod over. Like I was actually a person._

 

_I ain't ever gonna forget all that you did for me. I know we didn't always get along, but the times we did, we was like a broken, dysfunctional, little family. More than that, even –we was made for each other._

 

_Damn, this is gettin' soppy. Guess it's a good thing you ain't actually readin' this, or else I think I might die of embarrassment. I'll wrap it up now, I promise._

 

_Thanks for all you gave me. I know I'm a pain in the ass, and that I didn't do very much for you. But you gave me everything. You gave me a home. Friends. A family. All I ever coulda asked for._

 

_I love youse two so much._

 

_Jessie..._

 

_James..._

 

_You made me happy._

 

_Meowth.'_

 


End file.
